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The teeth years

Those two teeth we thought were poking through Marlo’s gums turned out to be SIX. That’s one, two, three, four, YOU GET THE IDEA. We were sitting at lunch when Jon goes, DUDE. Do you see what’s going on in there? And I was adamant that it was just a cracker she had been chewing [...]

Lived to tell about it

To say that I have kept a very close eye on this dog ever since she went missing would be an understatement. I think this means we should get a herd of sheep for the back yard, forget the chickens.

Squirrels on a plane

There’s a whole story attached to this photo, a squirrel caught in our window well, and I will get around to telling it, except I haven’t slept in three days and am going to cry. Excuse me.

The night of the missing dogs

It all started when we received our second water bill for this house, one that had more than quadrupled in amount than the bill before it. Meaning we were spending more on water than a monthly payment on an Italian sports car. Maybe this was Jon’s mid-life crisis? And instead of losing it and running [...]


These are generic dogs treats called Pooch Wraps. Does this mean he’s eating other pooches? Am I the only one whose brain goes there?


4 AM wake-up call this morning. Jon and I kept thinking, oh, she’ll fall back asleep. No. Because the usual quiet babbling nonsense to herself quickly turned to a very emphatic FEED ME YOU MORONS. I took one for the team and got up with her, then Jon came down at about 6:30 and we [...]

Office remodel, episode one

Welcome to the first installment of Jon Got A Whole Bunch of New Toys. We’re filming the office remodel in addition to what I’m writing about it, and you have to keep in mind that all the madness that we thought would end by buying this new house has sort of tripled. While filming this [...]

Starten em young

Finally she has enough hair that I can torture her with tiny rubber bands. She almost swatted my hand off while I put these in her hair, but she’s gotta learn early that fashion is painful and that in the process you gotta smile and act as happy as a dead pig in the sunshine. [...]

I’m replacing his chair with a throne

Back when Tyrant started as our assistant he and Jon decided that in an attempt to combat the chaos in our lives we should have our calendars and schedules synced with our phones. Meaning now whenever I have an appointment or a conference call my phone starts screaming at me. It’s really charming and doesn’t [...]


This weekend my friend Carol and her family were visiting, and we got to spend three whole days with Basie. Except, she wasn’t as interested in us as she was with the maniacal squirrels in the backyard. This is where she parked herself and remained for hours on end. Not a stereotype at all.