Our Lady of Perpetual Depression

So I know I can’t dance

If reincarnation is true, I want more than anything the ability to dance when I come back as another being. I don’t care if I’m a frog or a piranha or a rock inside a cave. LET ME BE ABLE TO SAMBA! I could watch people dancing for hours. Forever, maybe. And when it’s done right I get goosebumps and start to cry and feel like calling my mom to gush about the beauty of the earth because I know she won’t go twitter about what a nitwit I am.

(plenty of Internet strangers already have that job covered)

I saw this on Kottke today and have watched it several times. And then I got goosebumps so badly that I had to go put on a coat. Maybe I’m being dramatic, but I am so envious of people with this talent.

Just, DAMN!

(also, seeing Patrick Swayze doesn’t help the tears)

  • melnyc

    2010/08/31 at 11:32 am

    Love, love, love. It’s embarrassing just how many times I have danced along with many of those movies. Alone in the living room, of course.

  • meganithappen

    2010/08/31 at 11:36 am

    This makes me HAAAAAPPPPPPPYYYYY!!!!

  • Sivy

    2010/08/31 at 11:38 am

    total goosebumps! love that it had Rocky Horror in it!

  • RobynMD

    2010/08/31 at 11:38 am

    I adore dancing too, not dancing programs but movies in which characters spontaneously dance. That is my musicals are so fabulous, and certain improv troupes.

  • TropicalPopsicle

    2010/08/31 at 11:46 am

    I have an interview today and this just made me calm and happy. I feel like I’ll do a good job now! Heather, if you’re ever on dancing with the stars I’ll vote for you no matter how bad you think you are.

  • dawdawsmom

    2010/08/31 at 11:51 am

    ok, so it was happy feet that did it in for me =o)

  • The Prima Momma

    2010/08/31 at 11:51 am

    I too fantasize about being more in touch with my inner tribal drummer.

    I admire dancers and musicians to no end.

    Also – I second the whole voting for Heather on Dancing with the Stars!! Come on Dooce! Doooo it.

  • Fifi Coon

    2010/08/31 at 11:53 am

    Don’t you just love Jamie Lee Curtis??? And John Travolta in all those dancing movies??? And Patrick and Jennifer and on and on and on……….Thanks for that!!!

  • luckymom22

    2010/08/31 at 11:54 am

    Some great moments…if you haven’t sat down and watched “Singing in the Rain” with your kiddos then their education is lacking. Go to You Tube, search on “Make Them Laugh” from Singing in the Rain and watch it now! Never mind, don’t bother searching, here’s the link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FW02c5UNGl0 Especially if you need a reason to smile!

  • sonjabean

    2010/08/31 at 11:54 am

    At least those are people. I don’t even have hope that I could someday dance as well as this dog:


  • lovems

    2010/08/31 at 11:56 am


    I am with you – to be able to dance like that! I must also admit, I have always been envious of Jennifer Grey – ah to have been able to dance with Patrick Swayze:)!

  • EliBailey

    2010/08/31 at 12:04 pm

    That was amazing! I love dance movies. But did I miss it or were there no clips from Chicago in there? That’s one of my favorites.

  • Norabloom

    2010/08/31 at 12:07 pm

    I wanted to like this, I really did, but then the music started – Kenny Loggins – and I couldn’t get through it.

  • paolouche

    2010/08/31 at 12:23 pm

    Loved this video! I stink at dancing too Heather, but that doesn’t stop me from goofing around in the living room with my kids on tunes we like. And the only reality show I watch is So you think you can dance! You want goose bumps? watch it!!!

  • greetd

    2010/08/31 at 12:24 pm

    Too bad, YouTube blocked that video here (I’m in Belgium) … 🙁

  • kristanhoffman

    2010/08/31 at 12:29 pm

    HAHAHA Sonja stole my dancing dog! Ah well, as long as you see it, Heather, and love it, my mission is complete.

  • ClaireinAustin

    2010/08/31 at 12:30 pm

    Thanks for sharing this! that put a nice lift in my afternoon(I’m at work). I couldn’t dance my way out of a paper bag, but I’ve lately decided that I have to try to learn to do this kind of dancing because they all look like they are having SO MUCH FUN:

  • Ena Murphy

    2010/08/31 at 12:35 pm

    OMG! So awesome. My favorite song of all time!!

  • iWantBrownies

    2010/08/31 at 12:40 pm


    Did you watch So You Think You Can Dance? If so, were you able to make it through a single episode without crying? I know I cried through at least every other episode this season! I’m always astounded by how talented all the contestants are.

  • nova276

    2010/08/31 at 12:43 pm

    I couldn’t stop smiling through that whole thing, thanks for that! Also, unexpectedly, I now want to watch Coyote Ugly. I never thought I’d type that sentence.

  • jumanjijuice

    2010/08/31 at 12:43 pm

    Yea Lehi Roller Mills! I hid in the bathroom, with my feet up to see Flashdance twice. I’m all verklempt.

  • EarlGreyHot

    2010/08/31 at 12:48 pm

    I’d so love to see it, but they’ve blocked it here in Germany too. Why can’t they just put some ads on it and be done with?
    Anyone know another place to watch it?

  • missusclark

    2010/08/31 at 12:49 pm

    I too would love to be able to dance well. Watching this brought all that yearning welling up. Plus…. Baryshnikov! Woof!!!

  • bebehblog

    2010/08/31 at 12:51 pm

    I suddenly have a whole list of things to add to my Netflix queue – except that I own practically all of those, from Singing in the Rain to Strictly Ballroom to Honey. Because I am THAT LAME.
    But can someone tell me what the movie the two guys dancing in the empty room is from? The one the screen is paused on? It is embarrassingly missing from my extensive dance movie repertoire.

  • tiawaffs93

    2010/08/31 at 12:52 pm

    Never have I loved the art of dance more than on those days each June when I can sit in the audience at my daughter’s dance recital. Every single routine whether she is a part of it or not is out-of-body awesome. Here’s hoping that Leta, Marlo or both discover that they have your love for it too and let the dance classes begin! Well maybe a few more years before Marlo is ready to sign up =)!

  • GingerPeach

    2010/08/31 at 12:59 pm

    Heather, I know someone else already pointed it out to you, but you seriously need to see this dog dance:

    When someone showed it to me, I was all ready to see a silly dog jump and bark, haha, but seriously my mouth was AGAPE the entire time. This dog is dancing. Really, really, really well. So light on his feet!

  • Chloe

    2010/08/31 at 1:09 pm

    The movie with the two guys, if the two guys are Mischa and the late Gregory Hines, is White Nights, also featuring the fabu Helen Mirren.

    So many scenes from my all time fave, Strictly Ballroom, a wonderfully funny and campy movie from the ’90s that I saw about 7 times after watching the execrable Indecent Proposal – that was a pantload.

    Tom King who was the Hollywood columnist for the Wall Street Journal (he passed away all too young) once asked for readers to let him know the names of movies they had seen at the theatre more than 1 time. I emailed him about my Strictly Ballroom habit, and he actually telephoned me so we could chat about the movie, one of his favorites as well. I think I was a gay man in a former life.

  • Emerson_Jo

    2010/08/31 at 1:10 pm

    Having studied dance since the age of 3, I love me a good dance movie montage! Thanks for the smile, Heather! Much needed today since sadly my BFA in Dance is not being put to much use…unless you can count all the moves I bust out watching Yo Gabba Gabba with the kiddos!

    And @bebehblog….the movie is White Nights 🙂

  • LaurieML

    2010/08/31 at 1:20 pm

    I too DESPERATELY wish I could dance.
    I could have done without Jamie Lee Curtis in that leotard though.

  • Barking Mad

    2010/08/31 at 1:20 pm

    Loved the compilation. Brought back some really wonderful memories of watching those films with my little sisters and brother, and then my older kids. I guess it’s time to break out those films and introduce my 4 year old to them!

  • mariebeth

    2010/08/31 at 1:23 pm

    I LOVE it! I feel a marathon movie session coming on, starting of course with Dirty Dancing! Thanks for making me smile 🙂

  • anjuli31

    2010/08/31 at 1:27 pm

    YES!!! I know exactly how you feel, and I have danced around my living room a million times, imagining that I actually looked that good. Watching this video also brought tears to my eyes… Patrick Swayze! Gene Kelly!!! Sandy and Danny! And the Jets!! Love it, love it.

  • smithie1996

    2010/08/31 at 2:05 pm

    Ohh! Strictly Ballroom! One of my favorite movies ever. Another awesome campy dance movie that I didn’t see in there is Center Stage. Ballet! Drama! New York City! Bad boy vs. sweet boy! Whom will she choose? Plus the best redemption-I-dance-to-the-beat-of-my-own-drummer end number ever.

    Oh, and I agree with whomever said they want to see Coyote Ugly now. Excellent stuff.

  • holly8615

    2010/08/31 at 2:06 pm

    I always thought I was a freak for crying when I watch people dance/perform. Glad to know I’m not the only one!

  • football_swan

    2010/08/31 at 2:27 pm

    Some of the best movie dancers and dances ever.

  • jennyallen

    2010/08/31 at 2:31 pm

    You need to get Dance Revolution for Wii. Seriously…like now.

    I feel your pain. I grew up loving Grease, Footloose, White Knights and can’t dance a bit.

    Dance Revolution gives you the dance moves and is so fun I played/danced in a room full of people (with red wine confidence of course).

  • Lisa Dickie

    2010/08/31 at 2:33 pm

    Loved this…many goosebumps! Thanks for sharing it with us.

  • kwm

    2010/08/31 at 2:47 pm

    Awesome! I feel the same way about dancing!

  • tiny apple

    2010/08/31 at 2:54 pm

    awesome! i gotta say i love me some 50s tap dancing in movie musicals, but of all the dances they showed, just about the only one i can do well is the time warp!


    2010/08/31 at 3:01 pm

    Loved watching that! Thanks for the lift! I could watch John Travolta dance all day—and night. He’s da bomb.

  • wakeandbake

    2010/08/31 at 3:06 pm

    I see whoever put in Julia Stiles from Save the Last Dance has a loose interpretation of “dancing.”

  • jennyjane

    2010/08/31 at 3:06 pm

    Very nice. But not quite as good as this:


  • SuzieQ1

    2010/08/31 at 3:07 pm


    You made my day. I’ll be watching this all night. I’ve always wanted to be able to tap dance. Does anyone do that anymore? My favorite movie dance was Gene Kelly dancing to Slaughter on 10th Avenue. Took me years (I started before the internet in the dark ages) to locate it and finally, thanks to Amazon, got the VCR tape of the movie Words and Music. Love that Gene Kelly! … and all the rest, of course.

  • jennyjane

    2010/08/31 at 3:07 pm

    Very nice. But not quite as good as this:


  • karenarens

    2010/08/31 at 3:11 pm

    Goose bumps is right! Wow. That was great. Now they need a v 2.0 that includes Pacino doing the tango in Scent of a Woman, the Bollywood closing credits scene from Slumdog Millionaire, and the guys from Full Monty. I hope we see more of these!!

  • Brea

    2010/08/31 at 3:35 pm

    I didn’t realize that I was about to watch a movie musical compilation – and even though Heather prepped us well with the goosebumps, I was still unprepared for the AWESOMENESS.

    I feel a movie marathon coming on! My 13-year old daughter LOVES musicals and hasn’t seen any aside from the HSM trilogy. These are the movies I was able to identify:

    Dirty Dancing
    Rocky Horror Picture Show
    Saturday Night Fever
    High Fidelity
    Strictly Ballroom
    Sound of Music
    Happy Feet
    Michael Jackson videos
    White Knights
    High School Musical
    True Lies
    Pulp Fiction

    I don’t really know any of the ‘classic’ musicals and couldn’t identify those. What else am I missing?!

  • cipsi

    2010/08/31 at 3:42 pm

    But where was “Center Stage”???

  • yotko

    2010/08/31 at 3:54 pm

    Clerks 2! That dance scene, to the Jackson 5’s “ABC”, made me so happy, and was THE best part of the movie! (and that is coming from a big Kevin Smith fan!)

  • mrs_k

    2010/08/31 at 3:57 pm

    Awesome video. I feel like dancing and sex are the two best showcases of the beauty and power of the human body.

  • solaana

    2010/08/31 at 4:06 pm

    Thirding the call, the shock, the FUROR that Centerstage was left out. How can you deny the sheer artistry it takes to choreograph a ballet set to JAMIROQUAI! With a motorcycle on stage! And simulated-ballet-sex! And costume changes that DEFY THE LAWS OF PHYSICS! Where is the justice in omitting this grand opus of artistry, this Shakespearean ode to the human form? I ask you! For shame, youtube user!

Heather B. Armstrong

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

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