• Jawnbc

    Some people believe “it’s your blog, write what you want.” And on a hypersimplified plane that’s true. It’s also a powerful rationalization used by all sorts of eejits, fookwits and misanthropes on the interwebs for being…del…eejits, fookwits and misanthropes.

    But you’ve never come across like that to me. Everything you post gives me a sense you’re trying to open up some space for exchanges and interactions that will make this world a bit better. Almost always for someone not you too.

    I think you’re incredibly brave, especially when discussing your mood disorder and mental health in general. I disclosed mine at a job once…and the reaction means I’ll never do so willingly again.

    Yours is a good place on the internet Mrs. Armstrong. Also often highly entertaining too. ;)

  • Leobenlover

    Ya know what Heather? I love you. We don’t know each other and I may not always agree with you but there it is. And why not? Is it that difficult to love? You make me laugh and sometimes you make me cry a little (that’s just between us, I’m a cold hearted bitch, got a rep). It’s easy to say buck up when you’re feeling no pain but wait till something bad happens then they’ll be wantin’ some lovin’. Just because others may be worse off doesn’t mean your pain isn’t genuine. Stay real and f the haters. They can say what they want on their websites. Oh wait they don’t have a website cuz they’re to afraid to let it all hang out.

  • Stevana

    Reminds me of the lyrics to one of my favorite songs – the band is called Langhorne Slim:

    sit all day pissin’ away my time
    lookin’ into a crystal ball and i don’t know why
    livin’ too fast
    to live too long
    and i don’t wanna die but i don’t know yet where i belong

    i’ve had it better than some and i know that i shouldn’t complain
    though my grandfather told me once that all pain hurts the same
    your bottle is empty
    but your glass has been filled
    and i don’t wanna break your heart but i probably will

    some are born to be good, some are born to be bad
    most do the best that they could and others wish that they had
    if i could return
    to when i was a child
    i’d forget what i learned and go back to the wild

  • cnico

    Awesome post Heather… and I’m sorry you’re going through tough times.

    I have been wanting to share something with you for a couple of months… something I just learned in the past few months that could possibly be related to your postpartum depression and other bouts of depression.

    And that is that hypothyroidism (low thyroid) combined with adrenal fatigue and out of whack female hormones (turns out the endocrine system is WAY complicated and interrelated)… can mimic mental illness… including bipolar disorder and even schizophrenia.

    The NYTimes recently had a somewhat lame article about it… but at least they did an article about it.

    The lame part of the article is that they repeat the unfounded meme that there is a risk of heart disease from thyroid supplements… when in fact many studies have shown way more heart risk from hypothyroidism… Anyway, another website is http://www.stoptheythyroidmadness.com where the author lays out the truth behind doctors who no longer know how to correctly diagnose hypothyroidism… also http://www.about.thyroid.com has some excellent information and interviews with many doctors who treat the condition… the problem is mainstream med. schools do NOT teach proper diagnosis and treatment anymore… starting in the 60s when diagnosis based on a patient’s symptoms was replaced by the “more scientific” lab testing (the wrong lab tests as it turns out) … hypothyroidism is the underlying cause of fibromyalgia and chronicfatigue as well which used to be well treated by natural thyroid supplements from the 20s through the 60s. The improper diagnosis or non-diagnosis is a huge deal affecting approximately 30 million Americans.

    This website explains how excessive exercise and even extreme dieting can trigger hypothyroidism… something to maybe look into for you as well. http://www.holtormedgroup.com …. click on the issue on the left and then click the link to handouts.

    All of these websites have info on the types of test you need to have conducted to help sort it all out… but they include the thyroid hormones free T4, free T3 (active form of hormone), Reverse T3, TSH, as well as cortisol and DHEA (thru saliva tests), iodine, two thyroid antibodies TGB Ab and TPO Ab, estradiol, progesterone and pregnenolone, D3, B12, and insulin.

    I know this is long Heather… but pls look into this … turns out many doctors had told me my thryoid was functioning just fine… but they only did TSH and T4 (inactive thyroid hormone)… which is what most doctors do… and it does NOT tell the whole picture by a long shot.

    Best to you… I have suffered from SAD and depression and because of so much crap this past year my adrenal glands gave out (called adrenal exhaustion)… testing done in August revealed that and also that my thyroid was not converting T4 to T3… and my estrogen and progesterone levels were non-existent. Since I’ve been taking the compounded T3 and adrenal support (also see the fantastic website http://www.endfatigue.com for anyone who might think they have chronic fatigue)… and I am feeling SO much better… things like selenium and zinc also help the thyroid function better. I KNOW this information will help you if you have the energy to look into it. Hugs and blessings. Carol

  • cnico

    ps… I need to mention that the reason mainstream med schools do not teach proper diagnosis of hypothyroidism is that the synthetic version of T4 (the inactive thyroid hormone) is the 5th highest selling pharmaceutical in the US…. to the tune of millions and probably billions of dollars every year.

    The sad thing is, 80% of people who take T4 don’t convert it properly to the active form, T3, so they still suffer the extreme fatigue, hair loss, mental fog, depression, symptoms of mental illness etc.

    And the natural forms of T3 thyroid that worked well for decades are not patentable!

  • ShinyMinx

    I am really impressed with the way you handled that criticism. It’s easy to lash out, but much harder to sit with something and hold onto it. To tolerate the difficult. It’s a good thing though. It speaks of resilience and maturity and of gifts to give your daughters when they look to you about how to handle the difficulties in their own lives. The quiet strength and compassion that is in your words is a wonderful thing to model and to share. Well done.

    As to the rest of it… sometimes my mind walks me down pathways that spiral into graveyards and ravaged cities and broken staircases where no one else can follow. Sometimes there are days in which my truest wish is to never wake again (although happily these are the exception rather than the norm).

    One thing I’ve learned over and over as a therapist is how we are all fundamentally wired differently. Some people have a natural buoyancy while others need to work hard to inflate the life rafts of their resilience.

    A life of hardship is an awufu thing, but it does also come with its share of gifts. If you survive you walk away much hardier for the experience. Much better able to bounce through hardship. In a lot of ways through those experiences a lot of mental waste gets burned away. But when a life of relative privilege is combined with a brain that has a tendency to anxiety and downward spirals… that can be a much trickier combination. As a therapist it is much easier to work with trauma than the hopelessness that comes from something that feels broken and the guilt of having everything others want and things still not feeling right.

    Through my worst periods of depression what helped me was finding purposes outside the home. Volunteer work or actual work. Things to give a greater structure to my day, to set constraints on how long I’d be allowed to stay in the safe nest of my house. Other times I’ve dug gardens and worked to serve others who needed the assistance (I live in London which has fantastic volunteering opportunities) and I got back as much as I gave because it gave me ability to become absorbed in something that was not my own inner pain and dark. (My body is too broken for any exercise except Pilates).

    Caitlin Moran’s “How To Be a Woman” is something that I shove into the hands of most of the women I know because it is very funny and very good for the soul. Caitlin Moran has an incredible resilience and I always feel better after reading it.

    I wish you well.

  • Brooke1214

    thank you heather.

    thank you for reminding us that sometimes life sucks ass but it’s still ok. it’s even ok to say LIFE SUCKS ASS and i don’t like it right now.

    as i sit here on my couch, with my blu – light (similar to yours) and hope that it will help me with my day i think of you. i know you are doing it too. ingesting pills that the doctors promise will help, bathing in blue light that manufacturers promise will help. putting on a smile for the world and telling them “everything is GREAT!!!!!” when in reality it SUCKS ASS. but, isn’t that what we are “supposed to do”?!?!?!?!?!?!

    I wish and pray this passes quickly for all of us. we are good people, with fucked – up brains, who are doing our best. we are workers, moms, confidants, wives, we are women and we WILL DO THIS because the other option is NOT ACCEPTABLE.

    i love you all and wish you many smiles and happiness.

  • debramac

    Hey again,
    I dont’ think I have ever read every single comment like I have with this post. I personally am really in awe of the support that has welled up in an effort anonymously “lift up” instead of anonymously “tear down”. Awesome people, here, really, and that makes you Mother (effing) Awesome.

    Yesterday i joked about needing to avoid reading about your endorphin addiction because it made me want to do bad things! While I was trying to be lighthearted, the truth is that I saw this coming, and I said to others, Oh, no Heather is gonna crash and I can’t watch.

    It seemed to be about my concern for you when I was reading it, but more nowadays when I want to warn someone else of impending doom, I need to just shut up and turn that warning around and apply that warning to myself. Which I did. Now, that didn’t make it any easier to see you crash, Heather, but it did reinforce something I’ve struggled with myself, which is the feeling of “beware the highs” because they set the bar for the “low” when one seems to be a tender glass vase about to be dashed from that very high to the very low where one lays broken going, WTF. How could that high have been wrong? It was righteous! It felt like crack (rather, the “idea” of crack) but IT WASN’T CRACK!! And yet, here I am broken again, for no good reason.

    I’ve struggled with depression on and off my whole life and I’m not someone that can take medication for it as usually within a short period of time the symptoms are so much more exaggerated that it isn’t worth it. After 5 different kinds, I’ve stopped trying thinking I’m not supposed to go that route. So I have to keep that roof lifted myself, which doesn’t seem fair, says my brain which would love for a pill to solve everything, or even something! So it’s like a second full time job that I don’t get paid for, but if I don’t do it, I pay in other ways. Haven’t perfected, certainly, and sometimes when I’m counting things that just aren’t fair, I think when all I really want is to be happy, how unfair is it that I have to avoid the highest of highs (and overachievement with endorphins would qualify for me) in order not achieve the lowest of lows. Seems wrong. But I guess if all was easy, I wouldn’t be here in this lifetime trying to prefect some damn thing, right?

    So, predicting your crash was more “projection” than “prophetic” on my part, and I thank you for helping me see that. I like that saying that we teach what we most need to learn and you are a great teacher in so many ways. And you also illustrate that we really are all one. A concept I have had trouble with applying it to most of mankind. Sometimes when we feel the most alone, if we allow it, we see really we are all just the same and we are definitely not alone. You make me feel not alone.

  • ThePeanut

    We’re thinking of you and hope that things in your world become just a bit brighter today. Baby steps. And yeah, fuck the haters.

    Lots of love.

  • mamalang

    I don’t understand why we are no longer to complain and commiserate a little when life is tough. It irks the shit out of me that I can’t simply say that my husband is driving me batty and I want to push him off a cliff without someone telling me how lucky I am to have somebody, and a job, and a house…yada yada. Guess what, I know I’m lucky, but I also know I work hard for most of those things. 1st world problems are still problems.

    So go ahead and share about your aimlessness. I’ll tell you that mine will never lead me to run a marathon, but I understand it anyway:)

  • dianemaggipintovoiceover

    since those ideations of last week, i’ve thought about you many times, hoping you are doing alright and managing each moment. thanks for expounding. love your hair.

  • amyd

    Well… here is the thing. I have never been a fan of invalidating the feelings/suffering of one person simply because they “have it better” than another person. Using this logic, you could invalidate the suffering of homeless and poor and hungry and abused in the US because people in other countries have it so much worse.

    It’s just not right. Pain, discouragement, heartbreak, depression, suffering – they are personal. They are yours, they are valid, and you have the right to do with them as you wish.

  • Lizzy

    Good grief. I’m stunned people actually take time to write you only to complain about something you wrote. On YOUR blog. I don’t know weather to throw in a WTF or an LOL. Both seem appropriate.
    You keep on, keeping on, Heather. Your rational readers appreciate you.

  • jenspends

    I can relate. I don’t feel that my depression is very severe, but I’ve been struggling for a while now, and nobody fricking cares. When I had my first anxiety attack in years a few months ago, my dad told me I needed to grow up. After I seriously injured my arm in a fall in October, nobody except my husband wanted to help. Every time I see her, my sister tries to talk me out of seeing the orthopedist and getting the physical therapy I need. Seems if you’re pretty enough or popular enough or whatever you can get away with whining about every little thing and people will fall over themselves to comfort you, but if you generally try to be self-sufficient, strong and private, you’re SOL when you DO have a problem and ask for a little support.

    I can totally relate to the blue-eyed boy crush thing, too. Mine is like a ghost haunting me lately, and what I would give to feel that way again. I guess it’s a longing for simpler, happier times when everything seemed possible and I didn’t have mundane responsibilities. I don’t know if I loved him, or loved how he made me feel…but I can’t let it go.


  • Shoeladee

    LOVE this post….love you Heather…. in a totally non-sexual way of course. LOL! I have an awesome life but so understand how overwhelming life can be sometimes. Besides, everyone needs a whiny, pity party every now and again!! Sing on sistah!!

  • Erin Human

    You don’t have to deserve to be sad; you’re a human being. Not so sure about the people who criticize you for having depression.

  • PrettyGirlMyers

    You know, there is this attitude out there that no matter what your problems are there is always someone who has it worse. And while that may be true, it doesn’t change how you feel at any given moment. It doesn’t mean you’re not allowed to have a bad day and then bitch about it. I remember a few years ago I was going through a bad spell, and I was complaining to my dad. He mentioned that I shouldn’t be so blue, because his dentist had a daughter who was all sick and messed up, and I should be thankful that I wasn’t in her shoes. So I pretty much told him that I didn’t give a crap about his dentists daughter, I only cared about myself. In hindsight it may have been a crappy thing to say, but when you’re sad about something the last thing you want/need is for someone to point out people that are worse off than you.

  • slappyintheface

    My depression lifted (along with my perception that there was something “wrong” with me) after I stopped striving to be happy all the damn time. Our “microwave society” has us striving for happiness at all costs, when what we should be working towards is a sense of being content. No more … no less. Content.

  • poptart66

    What I love about Dooce.com and Heather Armstrong:
    Honesty, purity, emotion, feelings, truth, being so open, sharing, caring, cursing, humor, reality, human, etc…
    I love this blog. And it still amazes me that people do not understand what this site is about, or what blogging is about and if you don’t like it, stop reading it. Sometimes I walk around with a little grey cloud hovering above me and I know I’m not alone, that it will pass, that there are people out there who understand and it makes it better for me.

    Stay real and thank you for sharing!

  • gumbafive

    Thank you.

  • gumbafive

    Thank you.

  • gumbafive

    Thank you.

  • DoubleDs

    Thank you.

    Reassuring to know I am not the only one who has those feelings… why can’t I feel happy when everything is exactly as it should be?

    Fuck depression.

  • lobsterandi

    I, too, own two cars. I actually have everything I need. My life is good.

    And I’m sad too.

    I sit in front of that damned blue/white light when the winter sun doesn’t come out, and I laugh to myself. “How is this stupid light going to cure me when there’s really nothing wrong in my life?”

    To cling to a little light like that makes me feel silly and frail, but I do it because I don’t want to be sad.

  • katliz

    I’m struggling right now. Really struggling. Every day is a fight to get out of bed, to open an email at the office, to do just about any tedious task that should have absolutely no anxiety associated with it.

    Meds aren’t helping, therapy isn’t helping and I can’t get into see my psychiatrist for another two weeks until after the holidays. In the meantime, I’m hanging by a very frayed thread, wondering how I can get through the dinner I’m hosting this weekend or the very important deadlines that are coming up all at once at work.

    I’ve lived in a third-world country and have seen people struggling to feed their families on a daily basis. I know that in the grand scheme of things I have it pretty damn good. That doesn’t change the fact that this godforsaken illness that has been passed down generations in my family, one that has claimed lives and marriages before me, doesn’t grip every fiber of my being with so much strength I feel as though I’ll suffocate.

    Holy hell, I don’t get the entitlement behind people who are so easily judgmental of mental illness. The all encompassing guilt that comes with it is enough, thanks. If I have to see my husband’s eyes well up with tears one more time because he can’t help me when all he wants to do in the world is help me…

    These two posts could not have been better timed. I’ve needed them. Thank you, and I want you to be well, Heather.

  • alevai

    Heather, I think you’re cool and beautiful and your humanity is perfectly awesome.

  • Dragonfly

    Lots of hugs for you. I feel the same way. Thank you for all that you do and are.

    Also, I like your new hairstyle.

  • CourtneySue

    I think Dr Phil once said something about problems, that just because you don’t have severe problems (sick, dying, starving, etc.) doesn’t mean your problems and feelings aren’t valid. Sure, people could say, “Hey, you’re life is great compared to mine. Stop complaining!” But they aren’t you.

    Sure, things could be worse, but they can ALWAYS be worse.

  • PeggyMomma

    Love it, Heather…you go, girl!

  • skradei

    You’ve got a voice that people hear.

    I worry for those beyond the bounds of my own day-to-day life, but I also worry for myself and people with similar families / troubles / experiences. A “first world problem” is still a problem for the person going through it.

  • sarahbeanne

    You wrote a post not long ago about therapy and your relationship with your dad. I tucked the idea of trying therapy again away in my brain, and when my husband suggested it this weekend, I made the appt. I’m thankful for people like you who deal with anxiety and depression and give a real perspective on things, and real hope for the good that can come after.

    People are so quick to say “money doesn’t buy happiness” but even faster to be dismissive of the problems of people with any perceived affluence.

  • tracie d

    a young, bright, kind, motivated and beautiful young woman that i work with jumped off of a bridge last week and took her own life. i am floored and shocked and sick over it. i wish i could have known how much she suffered. i wish i could have helped her as one of the more senior employees where we work. i’m really struggling with my role and what could i have done to recognize the signs in her. thank you for shedding a little light on this and speaking about it on your blog.

  • deannie

    Thanks for making the uncomfortable front page reading. It’s a constant source of interest to me how deeply we can experience things and no one else can see it from the outside portion of our skin.

  • ckat22

    i used to think, ‘if only i lived in the olden days! i would have to spend all day working just to put food on the table and survive – i wouldn’t have time to be depressed and feel bad.”

    until a wise therapist pointed out that i would still be depressed, i would just have no help for it and i would probably die from melancholy.

    life can be going great. it can be going crappy. it can be totally calm and peaceful. and i can be depressed. OR … life can be going great. it can be going crappy. it can be totally calm and peaceful. and i can feel no effects of depression at all.

    depression is its own entity. it is like the postal service (neither sleet nor snow …), marriage vows (better or worse, sickness and health …) and it is to be respected and acknowledged – or it gets real pissy!

    the only complaint i have about the down posts is when they aren’t followed up on all weekend. i wonder how you are … a friend introduced us and we’ve been communicating pretty much every day for the last 8 years. i miss you. just cause you have no idea who i am doesn’t mean this relaitionship isn’t real, right? or important to me. (smiles) …

    i have good days when i’m depressed and bad days when i’m not. it is learning to recognize which is which and acting accordingly that i strive for.

  • pearldoor

    Thank you for this honesty. I am tired of trying to be shiny when all is dirty and gray as well. I’ve been circling the drain as well for weeks, and now I’ve just lost my little part time job over something ridiculous and although it was a toxic atmosphere, I really loved the job itself, so it pretty much crushed me.

    I needed to read that post to make it okay for me to mope. I felt as if I needed to act as if it didn’t bother me, but it really has cut me to the core. thank you for your writing, it’s beautiful as usual, and the picture just hurts my heart. I wish you peace, and all of us who are hurting. I just want to get through the next month.

  • journie

    I think it should be fairly obvious to people that money and fame and material possessions don’t have a damn thing to do with happiness. People who have far more money and fame and cars and houses than you have killed themselves, whether on purpose or through drugs. People who could literally afford to pay someone to wipe their ass have been unhappy to the point that they would throw it all away in order to leave that unhappiness.

    And I don’t for a second believe that the woman who has to ride in a cart for an hour to see a doctor has never been happy. To say that you have no right to complain or to be unhappy is to say that people who live in third world countries have no right to be happy. You live a comfortable life – you can still be unhappy. They live considerably less comfortable lives – they can still be happy.

  • Boont

    I cannot express how much I relate to your post. When I look of that photo of you, I recognize myself. I too have feelings of guilt regarding how others are so much worse off, yet my depression and anxiety are not soothed nor abated by that knowledge.
    Thank you so much. Your words help more than you know. People who do not have depression can never truly understand the complexity of this disease and what it is like to be one of us who lives with it, and especially if our ‘outer’ world looks charmed.

  • Boont

    Also, (how could I forget?) heartfelt and abundant love to you.

  • FL-German Girl

    thank you so much for this – it is hard when people dont understand why you arent happy – why, even if everything is perfect, you cant smile and enjoy it. It isnt actually like we choose to be this way – we just are.
    i love the things you write, and i love you for being brave enough to speak up and say things the rest of us are afraid to.
    you give me strength

  • jessiCat

    I just wanted to say thank you, as always, for being such an inspiration to me. Keep your chin up, and remember you are the Valedictorian of all things awesome sauce. Sending you love and hugs..

    also, to quote the mighty Peanut…FUCK THE HATERS.



  • MAG

    Heather, your post could not be more timely. I too am in a very dark place right now and cannot find my way out. On the outside, people see me as wife, mother, sister, employee, volunteer with “everything”. What could possibly be wrong?? Right??? WRONG!!! So very, very wrong. I wake up each day hating my life and myself. I go to sleep each night hoping I will not wake up. I fantisize about ending my life every-single-fucking-day. The hows, whens and wheres consume me. However, I am too much of a coward to actually go through with it. My luck, I would just humiliate or paralyze myself. I am on meds but they only seem to make things worse because they do not change to reasons why I am so depressed and filled with anger, rage, bitterness and helplessness. I just don’t know what to do or how to seek help. I’m afraid if I reach out for help no one will believe me. I am so lonely and alone even in a room full of people. I wish I wasn’t this way. I WANT to be normal and be HAPPY. It has been so long, I don’t know if I would even recognize what happiness is.
    Thank you Heather for sharing your life. It does help knowing that I am not alone in this. I hope you find the peace you deserve.

  • hanniy

    I just want to give you a huge hug and soak up some of the darkness for you…

    Lighter days are coming….


  • cory212

    Your hair looks awesome. It looks so good there should be a new word made up to describe how good it looks. Yeah, yeah, yeah, sorry you’re depressed, blah blah blah, love, support, strength, good vibes, etc etc. Love. the. hair.

  • Laura Jones

    Thank-you again.

  • Dani

    I’ve been having a horrible couple weeks. Sure I’ve got some reasons to be stressed but to be honest the smallest things send me over the edge.

    We are all allowed to be upset. Doesn’t matter if there is an obvious reason or a reason that’s not obvious to anyone outside yourself. Aaaaaaaand it’s okay to vent about not being happy. Everyone needs to vent sometimes.

  • Zedda

    I’ve been having an awful time with this winter thing. The anxiety has been in overdrive, and the depression has been rather extreme for me this year. I’m stuck in a dead-end job (two dead-end jobs), and though things are brighter, it’s still tough dealing with this depression bullshit. This year it’s plain-old, straight-up, crippling depression. I needed your post to give me some perspective, and I appreciate it. I come and read your blog every day, or as often as possible, and I am thankful for what you do and understand why you do it.

    We’re all human. Some of us are wired differently than others, I accept this. I accept that sometimes I’m happy, sometimes I’m sad. What I’ve had trouble accepting is that it’s OKAY to be sad sometimes, and your post just hit the nail on the head. Thank you.

  • abby536

    I believe I have read all the comments and nearly everyone wrote lovely things full of support and validation.

    I would absolutely say those things too if I wasn’t so desperate to say….. Maybe you should eat some carbs?

    I know it’s not inspirational but I keep thinking maybe a bloated belly is a fair trade for the serotonin just for a bit? Just while you are suffering from endorphin withdrawal with no running plus the damn nasty weather plus maybe a sense of aimlessness….

    I am in nursing school so it is probably just my distorted world view and really what do I know you could be LIVING on pop tarts (in which case I salute you). But I remember something about the paleo diet and then you added carbs so you could run and maybe you withdrew them post marathon?

    You seem to take good care of your health. If you have easy access to a nutritionist perhaps a once over to check that your diet is supplying all the fats and minerals and important food groups like chocolate that you and your brain need to survive what sounds like a long hard winter. It is possible that the increase in exercise has depleted your body of something or changed your demands.

    All of which is my far less eloquent way of saying that I too wish you well.

  • trickygringo

    I lived 22 months in a 3rd world country at the same quality of living as their equivalent of middle class. This meant not having running water far more than having it. Same with the electricity. Google Guatemala trash mining. I saw that first hand. I smelled it first hand.

    Knowing the kind of suffering I am shielded against here in the US makes me hate myself even more when I’m unhappy for no good reason. I roll my eyes to myself about my white people problems.

    But the thing to understand is that having a hard life and living with depression are not at all the same thing. You can’t draw any equivalencies between the two. I met some plenty happy trash miners.

    Maybe a reality check for people complaining about idiotic things is in order for most people, but there’s no rationality to clinical depression. It’s not based on an evaluation of the pros and cons of your life and how they square (or don’t).

  • M K

    Huh. I guess it never occurred to me that some people have no idea what it means to feel depressed or blue. Those of us who have experienced true sorrow know it all to well. Others of us have come into the world that way. But none of us choose it.

    There is a quote that I absolutely have to share. I feel badly about not being able to properly credit it to its author. Was it Eckhart Tolle? Not sure. But it goes something like this:

    You are like the big blue sky. Your thoughts are like the passing clouds. You have no more control over the thoughts that pass through, than the big blue sky has over the clouds. We only have control over what we do about them.

    I wonder if your critics are doing this: Have you seen this article from “Huffington Post?”


    Women are guilty of this just as much as men.

    What I’ve found over the years is that we, who understand sorrow, have endless amounts of compassion for others in the same boat. And that’s…. SOMETHING!!!

  • M K

    Sorry, one more thought. I don’t know if anyone else will find this helpful. It did help me years ago when someone said it to me, but I can understand if this pisses some of you off too.

    Winter is the natural time for depression. To be feeling low is to be absolutely in sync with life and nature. This is the time to go inward for introspection, to conserve, to hibernate, to restore, and it’s the time for losing all the leaves off your branches. A death of sorts. To be patient with it, honor it, and don the uniform [flannel pajamas!], embrace the cocoa, is a gift one gives oneself. Spring comes again, more or less on time.

    This has helped to change my mind about my reaction to winter and accept what is natural for me. Though, I have to reminded myself of it often.