“You’ll fake it if you have to”

In the comments of the post I wrote yesterday about the work I’m doing to find my way around this new reality, community member Daisy mentioned that “A Better Son/Daughter” by Rilo Kiley was the soundtrack to her life during a time of difficulty. I immediately went looking for it and then listened to it over and over again at an inappropriate volume. Daisy, I hope you don’t mind if I borrow this song from you right now. Thank you for mentioning it.

I’m feeling music more deeply than I ever have. A lyric can send me soaring for hours or throw me against a wall. The notes crawl inside my body and I can feel them humming and expanding inside my lungs. Makes me feel so alive.

Here’s that Rilo Kiley Song. There are a few lyrics that may not be suitable for work or young and tender ears, but it’s definitely worth a listen. Do you guys have any particular songs that have given you strength when you felt like the simple act of opening your eyes was unimaginable? Please share. (Also, thank you for your comments. I read them all as well as all of your email. Thank you so much.)

But you’ll fight and you’ll make it through

You’ll fake it if you have to

And you’ll show up for work with a smile

You’ll be better

And you’ll be smarter

And more grown up and a better daughter or son

And a real good friend

And you’ll be awake

You’ll be alert

You’ll be positive though it hurts

And you’ll laugh and embrace all your friends

And you’ll be a real good listener

You’ll be honest

You’ll be brave

You’ll be handsome and you’ll be beautiful

You’ll be happy

Your ship may be comin in

You’re weak but not givin in

To the cries and the wails of the valley below

And your ship may be comin in

You’re weak but not givin in

And you’ll fight it you’ll go out fightin all of em

  • Meauxzie

    Not to get too 90s, but Liz Phair’s “Exile in Guyville” is kind of fun for a nostalgic break…

  • Michigan J Frog

    If you want to have a good cry while listening to something beautiful, there’s always Beck’s cover of Everybody’s Gotta Learn Sometime:


    For pure joy of living, sassypants rock, try Down on the Street by the Stooges:


  • lindzgrl

    Oh, and Shake It Out by Florence & The Machine. I can’t think of a better song to listen to when you’re trying to claw your way out.

  • Anxious Annie

    Empowering. Good for working out/treadmill too. “Fighter” by Christina Aguilera. And check out the video … Christina did Gaga before Gaga even existed. http://youtu.be/PstrAfoMKlc

  • EmmieAnn

    1st time poster coming to you from the other side of 50 and a divorce that is 24+ years behind me.

    My two songs (listened to on cassette — had to rewind to repeat over and over)

    Pat Benatar: All Fired Up (partial lyrics below)

    Livin’ with my eyes closed, goin’ day to day
    I never knew the difference, I never cared either way
    Lookin’ for a reason, searchin’ for a sign
    Reachin’ out with both hands, I gotta feel the kick inside
    (Now I believe there comes a time)
    (When everything just falls in line)
    (We live and learn from our mistakes)
    All fired up, fired up, fired up

    Ain’t nobody livin’, in a perfect world
    Everybody’s out there, cryin’ to be heard
    And I got a new fire, burnin’ in my heart
    Lightin’ up the darkness, movin’ like a meteorite

    Chorus: That chorus still repeats when I need to believe that things will get better

    Carly Simon: Coming Around Again (partial lyrics below)
    Baby sneezes
    Mommy pleases
    Daddy breezes in
    So good on paper
    So romantic
    So bewildering

    I know nothin’ stays the same
    But if you’re willin’ to play the game
    It’s comin’ around again
    So don’t mind if I fall apart
    There’s more room in a broken heart (broken heart)

    That was then, this is now — thanks to another poster for reminding me I need to go download the latest Melissa Ferrick!

    Music can indeed heal the soul, and a broken heart. Hang in there!

  • hulahulagirl

    When I heard “Honey Come Home” by The Head and The Heart (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mXiVv7EmNeo) I thought of you and what you’re going through right now. As far as songs I listen to when I am depressed – Avett Bros anything and LOUD. Or Neko Case.

  • AlisonG

    Elton John. Funeral for a Friend. LOUD. From beginning to end. Therapy through my speakers, music and words. (Note: Best applied when driving country roads with windows down)

  • pollymae

    Weight Of Lies, Colorshow, Black Blue, all by The Avett Brothers. Any of their songs really. They can make you fly or stop you dead in your tracks.

  • CaitlinMc

    Hey, thank you. My husband is at BMT for the Air Force right now. I haven’t seen him and won’t see him for weeks. I need something in my life to encourage me and this song is certainly a step in the right direction.

  • townsete

    I know that a lot of people like to hate on Dave Matthews, but when I was going through my divorce, I must have listened to “Grey Street” eleventy-million times. The lyrics hit me right in the heart and expressed exactly what I was feeling:

    Oh look at how she listens
    She says nothing of what she thinks
    She just goes stumbling through her memories
    Staring out onto Grey Street

    And she thinks…hey
    How did I come to this
    I dreamed myself thousand times around the world
    But I can’t get out of this place

    There’s an emptiness inside her
    And she’d do anything to fill it in
    But all the colors mix together
    To grey, and it breaks her heart

    Oh how she wishes it was different
    She prays to God most every night
    And though she swears He doesn’t listen
    There’s still a hope in her He might

    She says I pray
    But they fall on deaf ears
    Am I supposed to take it on myself
    To get out of this place

    There’s a loneliness inside her
    And she’d do anything to fill it in
    And though it’s red blood bleeding from her now,
    It feels like cold blue ice in her heart
    When all the colors mix together
    To grey, and it breaks her heart

    There’s a stranger speaks outside her door
    Says take what you can from your dreams
    Make them real as anything
    It will take the work out of the courage

    She says please
    There’s a crazy man that’s creeping outside my door
    I live on the corner of Grey Street
    And the end of the world

    Oh there’s an emptiness insider her
    And she’d do anything to fill it in
    And though it’s red blood bleeding from her now
    It’s more like cold blue ice in her heart
    She feels like kicking out all the windows
    And setting fire to this life
    She could change everything about her
    Using colors bold and bright
    But all the colors mix together
    To grey
    And it breaks her heart…Oh and it breaks her heart
    To grey

  • mahonegal

    “Dancing on my own ground”, Gowan

    “I’ve finally come around
    Dancing on my own ground again
    All that I’d lost I found
    Dancing on my own ground again
    And I’m alright”

    Catch myself singing it on occasion, when I need it.
    I hope you get there Heather.

  • Twinkie

    I like the songs that make me feel righteous:

    Gotye – Someone I Used To Know

    Alanis Morissette – You Oughta Know

  • dlw5

    December 2010 – January 2011 was, without a doubt, the absolute worse few weeks of my life. I had lost hope and that was a terrifying notion for me, one who was always able to look at the bright side of just about anything (within reason, of course). The soundtrack of my despair and eventual recovery was “Lost In The World” by Kanye feat Bon Iver (and to a lesser extent, ‘My Beautiful, Dark, Twisted Fantasy’), and the album ‘For Emma Forever Ago’ (with the added track “Brackett, WI” from ‘Dark Was The Night’), also by Bon Iver. Every.single.song. on that album understood how I felt, even when I was struggling to feel. Or not to feel. I associate that song and that album with letting me know it was okay to cry, all the while giving me hope when I, myself, couldn’t find any. “Lump Sum” was by far the stand out and can easily put a smile on my face, or widen once that might already be there.

    In late January 2011, I stumbled across a band, Anberlin, and their album ‘Dark Is The Way, Light Is A Place’ continued to aid in my mental recovery. Oddly enough, though I can listen to Bon and the Kanye song over and over still, I can hardly stand listening to Anberlin’s album. I didn’t play it out, I just… I don’t know. I love the songs for pushing me back into the light, but am somehow angry at them, as well. Does that make sense? And the song that walked me into my darkest place and even started the walk out, however, I cannot stomach, which is unfortunate, because it is an amazing song. ‘Heatwave’ by IamX is the one. Hopefully, one day I’ll be able to enjoy it, again.

    Any who, enough of my ramblings. I just get excited when others use music as their catharsis, especially in troubled, difficult times since I, myself, now have my own battle scars to show. I guess I just want to say that it will get better – whatever the outcome, it won’t always be dark. Wishing you, Jon, the girls, and the dogs all the luck and comfort through these trying times. <3

  • LaurieML

    I wanted to share two poems that have helped me immensely – I know you asked for music but my connection to these is so deep I want to share.
    Out of the night that covers me,
    Black as the pit from pole to pole,
    I thank whatever gods may be
    For my unconquerable soul.
    In the fell clutch of circumstance
    I have not winced nor cried aloud.
    Under the bludgeonings of chance
    My head is bloody, but unbowed.
    Beyond this place of wrath and tears
    Looms but the Horror of the shade,
    And yet the menace of the years
    Finds and shall find me unafraid.
    It matters not how strait the gate,
    How charged with punishments the scroll,
    I am the master of my fate:
    I am the captain of my soul.

    And Desiderata(the actual poem is longer, but this is the most poignant for me)
    You are a child of the universe,
    no less than the trees and the stars;
    you have a right to be here.
    And whether or not it is clear to you,
    no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.
    Therefore be at peace with God,
    whatever you conceive Him to be,
    and whatever your labors and aspirations,
    in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul.
    With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,
    it is still a beautiful world.
    Be cheerful.
    Strive to be happy.

  • LarissaX

    It’s funny, I was going to say “well this is kind of cheesy but…” and then I noticed a few others saying that. Interesting how we feel we have to apologize if our music isn’t “cool” enough!

    The song that always made me feel better was “You Gotta Be” by Des’ree – loved it. Also think that Pink is great to sing at the top of your lungs. And Dixie Chicks “Not Ready to Make Nice” fires me up. For quieter times love “Why Worry” by Dire Straits.

  • sfgirlbybay

    oh man. i can’t even be near a radio when i’m feeling broken.

    but, when i start to feel better, watching christopher walken dance in fat boy slim’s ‘weapon of choice’ is guaranteed to get me feeling sassy:


    try it. thinking of you.

  • The Bean

    Warning, I am a wallower.

    Let Go-Frou Frou*
    I Just Don’t Think I’ll Ever Get Over You-Colin Hay*
    I Wish It Would Rain-The Temptations
    Blue-The Jayhawks
    Don’t Panic-Coldplay*
    Fool to Cry-Rolling Stones**
    I’ll Miss You-Ween**

    *All from The Garden State Soundtrack, which is amazing start to finish.
    **All from Beautiful Girls Soundtrack, which is also amazing start to finish. It even has some happy songs on it. Hard to believe, I’m sure, based on the list above.

  • kwilfong

    I get goosebumps at the end every single time. I’m not kidding. It chokes me up often, too.

    When Your Mind’s Made Up by The Swell Season


  • Alison R.

    “Run” Collective Soul. Sob. For any occasion. My heart hurts for you. Life is hard.

  • ashhioli

    ace enders – when i hit the ground
    thrice – for miles
    i can make a mess like nobody’s business – baby steps
    jack’s mannequin – swim
    taylor swift feat. the civil wars – safe & sound
    maria mena – this too shall pass
    the rocket summer – walls
    thomas wynn & the believers – it’s all right

    these are just a few songs that have been helping me recently. maybe you can find one to help you too.


  • bremily

    When I want to wallow it is always “Another Lonely Day” by Ben Harper(oh, the sadness). It includes a little hope that things could work out, maybe, possibly, someday? Or not. But letting it sink in sometimes feels indulgently good. I am so sorry to hear of your separation. You are doing it very gracefully, my girl. All my love.

  • kmpinkel

    Any depressing song during a rough time can take me down with it-but my go to song for escaping it all is Pink Floyd’s “Learning to Fly”. I wish it was played at my birth and pray it will be played at my funeral. And when I am feeling like I am in a fighting for my life kind of mood, Eminem’s “I’m Not Afraid”. Cheesy? maybe. honest? absolutely.

    I wonder if anyone ever thought of “Hangin’ Tough” NKOTB?

  • full contact knitter

    Moving, Appassionata by White Stone (instrumental)
    The Druid’s Prayer, The North Sea by Michelle McLaughlin (instrumental)
    Let Go by Frou Frou

  • kmpinkel

    I forgot Joni Mitchell’s “Both Sides Now”. Serious wallowing.

  • alyse

    fiona apple – extraordinary machine

  • afrazier

    Dust Me Off, Tilly and the Wall: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=feac9uVunsg
    That I Would Be Good, Alanis Morissette – my anthem…could be yours, too: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RUaC1nH6Y4U&feature=related
    More Adventurous, Rilo Kiley – honestly…Jenny Lewis is amazing: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IfAtMAT1_OY
    Little Victories, Matt Nathanson: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JyzkWUNyfwQ
    There’s Hope For You, William Elliott Whitmore – his voice is so souful; it feels like he’s speaking directly to you: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C6fx9pe1Utk
    Extraordinary Machine, Fiona Apple – Sara Jean is absolutely right! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qWhMrLae-7Y&feature=fvst
    The soundtrack to Once – this music envelopes my soul and doesn’t let go (right on Anne!)
    Bridge Over Troubled Water, Eva Cassidy – her voice and covers are astounding…it’s so sad she died so young: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YSo7hZeT3Xc

    Honestly, I’m surprised only one person suggested Indigo Girls. I can only speak for myself, but their songs are true poetry, lyrically and musically. Their songs and lyrics have helped me through so many different situations…it almost feels like I know them and they know me…I don’t know how to put it in words. Anyway, I hope at least some of our suggestions help you through this time. Much peace and love, Heather. :)

  • KristenM

    I understand the feeling music more deeply thing. I’m sure everyone does this to a degree, but after my big breakup, I would listen to the radio, and be convinced that it was freakish and uncanny how EVERY SINGLE SONG applied to my situation. Of course, now that I’m thinking more logically about it, I can say that it was probably because a very large percentage of songs are about having or losing love, and you can pretty much stretch all of them to fit your life (Eminem and Rihanna’s Love The Way You Lie is completely about domestic abuse, but that song hit me hard. [I completely did not intend that pun, but I'm leaving it in]). I still feel a panicked feeling of breakup PTSD when I hear that Need You Now song (it’s a quarter after one…), because of course it was the most popular song ever when I was feeling exactly all of those things. (And heaven freaking forbid someone should break up with someone and have to hear an Adele song, my god.)

    Anyway, I really tended to be the person who felt really sad and only let music pull me deeper into feeling really sad (I guess that’s textbook wallowing).

    Let it Be always makes me feel a little better about stuff though. Beatles in general, I guess.

  • strawberrygoldie
  • deminimis

    I was trying to think of a song that helped me through things earlier, but I couldn’t come up with a single one. There were plenty of songs that I listened to over an over for one reason or another, just none that stood out to me as a good song to recommend. Then I remembered something…

    Last year I shared my story with my local NPR radio station during their pledge drive. How desperate did I have to be to open up to someone by then. It seemed like a good time and place though, and it was pertinent. Maybe I even got them some more contributions, who knows.

    My wife and I used to donate to the station, then she was diagnosed with cancer, and that became one more thing that didn’t make the list. It wasn’t really even something that I thought about anymore. One day when we were driving a pledge drive was on, and Karin said when this is all over I want to start donating again. It was just one conversation out of many about the things we were going to do when she was able too, and when we were able too. I lost her later that year.

    The next spring when the pledge drive was on that conversation came back to me though. I sat down just like this on their website and made my pledge and type possibly the longest donation comment they had ever received. Shortly after that the host read my comments on the air, and dedicated When It Don’t Come Easy by Patty Griffin. It was definitely a song that spoke to how I was feeling.

    You’re out there walking down a highway
    And all of the signs got blown away
    Sometimes you wonder if you’re walking in the wrong direction

    So many things that I had before
    That don’t matter to me now
    Tonight I cry for the love that I’ve lost
    And the love I’ve never found
    When the last bird falls
    And the last siren sounds
    Someone will say what’s been said before
    Some love we were looking for

    But if you break down
    I’ll drive out and find you
    If you forget my love
    I’ll try to remind you
    And stay by you when it don’t come easy

    There are still a lot of those conversations in my head, and things that she wanted me to do. They are all sitting there waiting for the time when I am able too.

    Around the same time I wrote an email to you also, just to let you know the part that your website played in our relationship and the daily conversations. With all of the comments and emails that I know you have to get, I certainly never expected a reply, but you did. It was another moment for me like when this radio host sent this song out to me. It really meant so much to receive it. I never replied back because what am I, some fan boy… Maybe a little bit.

    “It don’t come easy” Eventually it does come though.
    Thank you again!

  • Rowan Mayfair

    My boyfriend of 11 years left me 3 months ago and I have been listening to almost nothing but my favorite artist Joanna Newsom. Her songs are insanely beautiful and there are so many lyrics that seem to apply to me at this moment in my life.
    In particular “In California”

    I don’t belong to anyone.
    My heart is heavy as an oil drum.
    I don’t want to be alone.
    My heart is yellow as an ear of corn,
    and I have torn my soul apart, from
    pulling artlessly with fool commands.

    Some nights
    I just never go to sleep at all,
    and I stand,
    shaking in my doorway like a sentinel,
    all alone,
    bracing like the bow upon a ship,
    and fully abandoning
    any thought of anywhere
    but home,
    my home.
    Sometimes I can almost feel the power.
    And I do love you.
    Is it only timing,
    that has made it such a dark hour,
    only ever chiming out,
    “Cuckoo, cuckoo”?


  • amyj

    Ingrid Michelson’s album Girls and Boys. It was the soundtrack that helped me divorce my first husband. The lyric “How can I catch up when I don’t want to?” rang in my head for weeks. It was so perfectly suited to what I was going through.

  • LoveLis

    My partner of seven years left me quite suddenly last May and this song is so something I wish I’d had then. Something to sing at the top of my lungs or blast while I cried in bed. Little things like this are what give you something to hold on to. One night, without really realizing what I was doing, I wrote myself a letter. It was a letter that said all the things I wanted my friends and family to say to me, reassuring me where I wanted that and giving me space to wallow where I wanted that. Four months after I moved into my new place I found that letter. I’d forgotten about it and when I read it, I cried. Because it was so perfect. It was just what I needed to hear. It was the nicest things anyone ever said to me.

    I had amazing friends and family who held me through my break up. But knowing that I still cared about myself (when I really didn’t think I did) was more comforting than I ever could have guessed.

    Take care of yourself. Whatever way you need to.

  • carepackagegirl

    Girl those pictures of you are just breaking my heart.

    I am also an Ani Difranco as well as a Tori Amos.

    Up Up Up Up Up by Ani
    “she crawls out on a limb
    and begins to build her home
    and it’s enough just to look around
    to know she’s not alone”

    This Tori song took me through my mother’s dying-
    “Battle of the minds
    Cries below, cries above
    You must pick a side
    Will you choose fear?
    Will you choose love”

    Good luck Heather.

  • astrolabe_cat

    (3rd time I’m trying to post this comment. Will it go through?…)

    Do you listen to classical music? A piece which got me through some dark times was Mozart’s clarinet concerto in A, specifically the Adagio. I would lie on the floor in the dark listening to it and it would lift me up.

    Hang in there, my sister.

  • squyks

    I’ve been listening to these two songs ad nauseaum.

    elbow – one day like this

    elbow – open arms (for broken hearts)

    The lyrics of the latter one are just the best…

    You’re a law unto yourself
    And we don’t suffer dreamers
    But neither should you walk the earth alone

    So with finger rolls and folding chairs
    And a volley of streamers
    We can be there for tweaks and repairs
    Should you come back home

    We got open arms for broken hearts
    Like yours my boy, come home again

    Tables are for pounding here
    And when we’ve got you surrounded
    The man you are will know the boy you were

    And you’re not the man who fell to earth
    You’re the man of La Mancha
    And we’ve love enough to light the street
    ‘Cause everybody’s here

    We got open arms for broken hearts
    Like yours my boy, come home again
    We got open arms for broken hearts
    Like yours my boy, come home again

    Everyone’s here
    Everyone’s here
    The moon is out looking for trouble
    And everyone’s here

    Everyone’s here
    Everyone’s here
    The moon wants a scrap or a cuddle
    And everyone’s here

    We got open arms for broken hearts
    Like yours my boy, come home again
    We got open arms for broken hearts
    Like yours my boy, come home again

    Everyone’s here
    Everyone’s here
    Everyone’s here
    Come home again

    The moon is out looking for trouble
    The moon wants a scrap or a cuddle
    The moon is face down in a puddle
    And everyone’s here

  • cjanducci

    The past couple of months have been an eclectic blur of Pixies, Elton John and Tegan and Sara (my daughter’s contribution). I’m the friend that never makes the playlist!

    I got our court date yesterday, cried all night (even though it’s of my doing) and woke up to this post. This song. Thanks to you and everyone commenting, I feel so much less alone. I also feel so much more secure in my decision.

    I’m allowed to have the life I want. I’m strong enough to pursue happiness.

    I know soon the grieving, the feeling like I’m a shit for leaving will pass too.

    Just a big thank you to you, Heather, and your community. This is a good place to find strength.

  • Woodas828

    Lissie – Pursuit of happiness (cover)

  • Jen

    Hello Heather,

    I don’t comment much, but I have been following your blog and I’m so sorry you and your family are going through this hard time. My thoughts and my heart are with you.

    These songs have seen me through different times in my life:

    “Hearing Damage” by Thom Yorke
    “Learning to Fly” by Pink Floyd
    “Come to Jesus” by Mindy Smith (I’m not a religious person, but this song came to me at the lowest point in my life and was the catalyst for pulling me out of the depths.)
    “Nothing Else Matters” by Metallica
    “Across the Universe” by Fiona Apple
    “Army of Me” by Bjork
    “Canned Heat” by Jamiroquai
    “Crazy” by Gnarls Barkley
    “Dog Days Are Over” by Florence and the Machine
    “In a Big Country” by Big Country (A song I’ve been listening to since I was in high school,and one day suddenly the lyrics stood out to me and I realized what an inspirational song it is.)

    In a Big Country

    I’ve never seen you look like this without a reason,
    Another promise fallen through, another season passes by you.
    I never took the smile away from anybody’s face,
    And that’s a desperate way to look for someone who is still a child.

    And in a big country, dreams stay with you,
    Like a lover’s voice, fires the mountainside..
    Stay alive..

    (I thought that pain and truth were things that really mattered
    But you can’t stay here with every single hope you had shattered)

    I’m not expecting to grow flowers in the desert,
    But I can live and breathe and see the sun in wintertime..

    CHORUS [x2]

    So take that look out of here, it doesn’t fit you.
    Because it’s happened doesn’t mean you’ve been discarded.
    Pull up your head off the floor, come up screaming.
    Cry out for everything you ever might have wanted.
    I thought that pain and truth were things that really mattered
    But you can’t stay here with every single hope you had shattered.

    I’m not expecting to grow flowers in the desert,
    But I can live and breathe and see the sun in wintertime..

  • rojopelo

    And this one from the way back machine: Fine Young Cannibals As Hard As It Is

  • heatherlayne

    When my brother died at the age of 22, my parents and I rented and watched Dan In Real Life, just for something to do one night. Not only was the movie very real-seeming (genuine family problems, real reactions) and sweet and sad but with a nice ending, but it had a soundtrack I fell in love with. I listen to the soundtrack for Dan In Real Life when my life is being a bummer.

  • mook

    I tend to listen to horribly sad songs when I go through tough times. This song is sad but hopeful. I hope you have hope Heather.

    Patty Griffin-Don’t Come Easy


    I also really like this poem, Comes The Dawn


    I also like the poem Desiderata by Max Ehrmann. Especially the last few paragraphs….

    Take kindly the counsel of the years,
    gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
    Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
    But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.
    Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.

    Beyond a wholesome discipline,
    be gentle with yourself.
    You are a child of the universe
    no less than the trees and the stars;
    you have a right to be here.
    And whether or not it is clear to you,
    no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

    Therefore be at peace with God,
    whatever you conceive Him to be.
    And whatever your labors and aspirations,
    in the noisy confusion of life,
    keep peace in your soul.

    With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,
    it is still a beautiful world.
    Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.

  • iliadawry

    I’m sure it’s been said, but Sarah Siskind’s “Lovin’s for Fools” is good for ripping the poison out and getting it onto the bathroom floor instead of festering (I’m a “corner of the sofa on the floor by the chaise part” girl myself, or “under the computer desk”, yes this is recent). Live version of it starts about 10:15 at http://www.npr.org/event/music/106990375/sarah-siskind-tiny-desk-concert and is brilliant. (“Crazy how I feel living without you here in this house we built…”)

    I’m trying to build a playlist to help get the storm out of my head and chest and onto something I can see and hold and put away sometimes. Something that can’t ambush me when I’m trying to buy rice or pens or smile at the nice lady that’s taking my job application. So far it’s not working, but I haven’t made much progress either.

  • floridagal73

    When you asked the question, immediately REM’s Everybody Hurts came to mind. Music is absolutely the one thing you can rely on to make you feel great or feel like crap – but it makes you feel. I remember driving to work a couple of years ago, in the throes of PPD, and this song came on the radio. As I listened to the words, I cried. But I heard the words so clearly that it became a turning point for me. I can’t listen to that song without a rush of emotion.

    Hope and faith for you, my friend.

  • hippychick

    You need to listen to the band Portugal. The Man. and the best song for when you are feeling blue is “Sleep Forever”
    I just want to sleep forever
    never see tomorrow
    beg or borrow

  • kryssiecat

    I’ve actually felt compelled numerous times to send you a copy of the soundtrack to a musical called Next to Normal. Most people hear musical and then stop listening but I promise this one is totally worth it. It’s about a mother, Diana, suffering from depression and having delusions of her 18 year old son who actually died at 8 months old. Her daughter is frustrated by her mother’s lack of attention to her and briefly turns to drugs, all the while her boyfriend tries to help her despite being continuously pushed away. Her husband is desperately trying to hold the relationship together by encouraging Diana to stay on antidepressants and simply ignore the pain. It’s an emotional roller coaster and one of the most stunning pieces of theatre I have ever heard or seen(unfortunately it’s not running anymore though). I thought it might resonate with you, I listen to it to help me through almost any situation.

  • cindymc716

    My heart aches for you right now. So sorry your family is experiencing such a terrible time.

  • RocketGirl

    The songs I have found myself listening to over and over again when I’m going through challenging times in my life (and there have been many recently) have been:
    Shake it off by Florence + the Machine
    Heartline by Florence + the Machine
    I Will Survive by Gloria Gaynor (cause you can’t feel bad when you have disco on)
    Anything by Harry Belafonte

    That, and like others here, I have Dory’s song from Finding Nemo in my head “Just keep swimming Just keep swimming”.

    And never forget that no matter what it is you are going through, it is temporary….

  • Number 99

    Jackson Browne – These Days.
    “Don’t confront me with my failures; I have not forgotten them…”

  • lynnia

    Here are a few songs that have gotten me through some tough times:

    First, a heartbreakingly beautiful song about learning how to live without someone who was central to your life, “Woke up new” by the Mountain Goats.


    On the morning when I woke up without you
    For the first time
    I felt free, and I felt lonely, and I felt scared

    Dar Williams, “You’re Aging Well,” which is about being OK being yourself regardless of what other people think. I particularly like this version where she sings with Joan Baez:

    I’m so glad that you finally made it here
    With the things you know now, that only time could tell
    Looking back, seeing far, landing right where we are
    And oh, aren’t we aging well

    And another Dar Williams, “Spring Street,” which is about breaking up when it’s the right thing to do, even though it’s hard, and having courage.


    Too much rain on a prairie flood plain
    Houses floating, love is like that
    We built on the river
    And that’s to say, yeah I’m leaving, but I don’t have to go there
    I don’t have to go to Spring Street, cause it’s spring everywhere

  • whurlgurl

    This is what got me through….”Untouchable Face” by Ani DiFranco. It may not be the correct song for the situation…but how many songs can you sing along to that you get to blare out f*ck You 3 or 4 times…….