Other than seeing Star Wars, what else could he possibly want?

Most guys are going out to see that damn movie today, so just shove yours out the door and go, “Have some popcorn. It’s on me.”

Holiday for Her

I already have want I want this year, but that doesn’t ever stop me from window shopping. Especially to take my mind off of what I just wrote in this post.

Second Christmases

There may be more Play-Doh paraphernalia under the tree tonight along with a giant bag of coal and a scrolling list of chores.

Christmas mascot

This ornament is going to make my friend Leah so goddamn happy. Better than a gif of a naked baby bear dancing to the Bee Gees.

Holiday for the Kids, 2014

If anyone gifts my 5-yr-old an object that makes or plays music, I will personally see to it that Santa takes a giant shit in their stocking.

Holiday for Him, 2014

This should also include a DVD of hundreds of episodes of “Scooby-Doo” in case he gets sick and needs you to help him sip Gatorade.

The ornamenting

A tradition with my girls that delights this dog year after year, this season in particular.

Annual holiday bokeh

When I asked the girls if we should get a real tree this year Leta said, “That seems like a lot of work.” Only ask Leta her opinion if you *really* want to hear it.

Holiday for Her, 2014

My child is at school which means she is not attached to my body which means I can take a moment to entertain myself.

Modern folklore

Next, I’m buying some Pop Rocks and soda and we are going to party.