Six times the suck

This past weekend I discovered a fail-safe method of making myself feel like an astounding idiot, more fail-safe than that time my mother-in-law told me that she saw someone in church with shoulders just like mine, you know, so wide that they blocked her view of the pulpit. I didn’t even have to leave my [...]

Duchess Cymbalta, before your execution, you will join me at a ceremony that will make this battle station operational

Last week I was talking to a friend about what a nightmare it is to try and find the right depression medication. He suffers from the disease as well and has seen his fair share of pharmaceuticals whose names sound like characters in online role-playing games involving civilizations on other planets. “Captain Klonopin requires your [...]

To the manufacturers of Triaminic: BITE ME

Just now I read an email that made me cry (in such a very good way), and earlier today I sent an email that made me cry while I wrote it. None of this has anything to do with the impending conclusion of “Six Feet Under” even though the last three episodes were eerily familiar [...]

This open road in front of me just got a little bumpy

Yesterday was one of those bad days that merits a misery ranking comparable to the thirty minutes after my water broke in the delivery room when I thought the baby was going to come out of my body via my back teeth and knees simultaneously. When Jon got home from work I had him fix [...]

He can’t handle the truth

Yesterday a friend left a message on the phone reminding me to take my vitamins. I called her back and left her a message that yes, indeed, I had taken my daily multi-vitamin, and not just because it cures cancer. I once heard an expert say that although Salma Hayek doesn’t ever exercise she does [...]

If only there were a category for Sappiest Weblog Entry of the Year

One of the most terrifying moments of my life was walking into our bedroom the afternoon we came home from the hospital, two days after giving birth to Leta. I was stitched up to my chin, but the physical pain paled in comparison to the shocking realization that I was now The Mother, that there [...]

You be well for me

Last week my sister’s neighbor committed suicide. He was the father of four children, the oldest being 11, the youngest being 3, and his wife found him in their bedroom where he had hanged himself. I am telling you this because when my sister told me about it yesterday I almost hit the floor. That [...]

Untitled

The first therapist I ever saw was in the rainy Memphis February of 1993, a month after my first boyfriend broke up with me. I was somewhat upset about the break-up, particularly when I found out that he had been telling his friends that the only reason he wanted to go out with me was [...]

The Other Side

I find it hard to describe just how hard it is to take care of an infant day in and day out without a break on the weekends. It’s just not something you can understand unless you’ve actually experienced it, and I like to refer to parenthood as “being on the other side.” It’s like [...]

Unlocked Part Two, or, On That Open Road in Front of Me

(I wrote this Sunday night while I was still in the hospital) Being in the hospital is strange if not incredibly boring. There are only two televisions for a group of over 30 people and the channel is always turned to the Olympics. I have nothing against the Olympics, in fact I find the cute [...]