Here I am talking about farts and I am not happy about it. Not one bit.
Antibiotics! Vaccinations! Potentially harmful long-term medication! Preparing to travel abroad is like a giant frat party inside your immune system.
The soundtrack to this is dueling banjos and the thud of a wad of chewing tobacco as it hits the ground.
One problem, two problems, three problems, more.
Oh no, here I go again. Won’t someone please stop me?
Have you ever met a three-year-old? Horrible people. Little deranged convicts.
Somebody found a rotten substance in the backyard and thought it would be a good idea to cover his entire body with it. I expect this sort of behavior from the idiot dog, not the one who reads poetry when he takes his tea in the sitting room.
A few weeks ago I mentioned here that Marlo has started holding her poop (here we go!), and since then things have not progressed as much as I would have liked them to. She isn’t yet approaching me politely and asking, “May I be excused to eliminate my bowels, Master?” So, you know. I have [...]
(While I’m out of the country, I’m reposting some content from my archives. This one was originally published in the fall of 2004. I thought we’d play a bit with the Boone theme.) Last week I had a huge portion of my extended family in town for the wedding of one of my cousins, perhaps [...]
Last night while both kids were crying and simultaneously not eating what we’d made for dinner, one of the dogs puked something all over the new rug in Leta’s room. I say something because I finally learned to stop trying to figure out what it is. That information is never rewarding. You’re never like, GOD [...]