The making of an older sister

Yesterday morning we dragged Leta out of bed very early in order to make it to my doctor’s appointment on time. We had not mentioned a word about what’s been going on, mainly to be cautious, although she’s very observant and has asked me out loud in front of strangers why my boobs are so [...]

A Labor Story

The format of this post is inspired by Mrs. Kennedy’s brilliant account of the birth of her son, something I read studiously in the weeks leading up to the birth of Leta, something that had me squarely convinced that any labor not involving a toilet was really no labor at all. Friday, 30 January, 7:00 [...]

Due Date

When? When? When?

No, I haven’t given birth to this baby yet, but if you could call my house and ask me about it, like every member of my immediate family and every member of my extended family, all 87 of them, that might make me feel more adequate because at this point I’m obviously doing something wrong. [...]

T-Minus Seven Days and Not A Coherent Thought To Be Found

This morning at the doctor we found out that I am dilated to a “1 plus some” (the actual medical term he used) and 70% effaced. For those who aren’t familiar with what this means, let’s just say that there’s this thing that has to open up to the size of a LARGE BAGEL before [...]

39 Weeks, Photo Collection: I Don’t Think You’re Ready for this Belly

This week’s photo collection is the one in which I’ve gathered all the photos of all the bellies going all the way back to when I started taking pictures of it in August. I have officially decided that this will be the last week I take a picture of the belly because I’m not going [...]

Strategies for Indoocement

Last night I had a dream that Al Roker was demonstrating proper breastfeeding techniques to me and a room full of 18 other pregnant women. He had gigantic nipples and was handling them with an almost unlawful carelessness, just swinging them around and pinching them and mooshing them like little red meat patties. He made [...]

Count Your Many Blessings, Name Them One By One

It’s no secret to anyone who has read this website that my husband is my most favorite person in the whole wide world, and I’m pretty sure that many of you have reached a point where one more mention of how cute I think he looks in protective goggles is totally going to make you [...]

The Spiraling, Ridiculously Flawed Logic of an Unmedicated Mind That Seriously Needs to Be Medicated, Like, All the Time

age 8: My parents fight a lot. I make straight A’s in all my classes, but they still fight and my mom still cries all the time. I’m obviously not trying hard enough to make them happy. They are going to get a divorce and neither of them will want to live with me. I [...]

37 Weeks, Photo Collection: The Armstrong Kitchen Remodeling Disaster

Although the official closing ceremonies on the kichen remodel occurred a little over two weeks ago, it has taken Jon and me that long to realize that we have to go back to a normal way of living, to days not spent roaming the aisles at Home Depot and nights not spent scraping or crushing [...]