the smell of my desperation has become a stench

Punch Drunk

Every television or radio journalist from Dan Rather on down should have the word “flotilla” striken from their vocabularies.

Every corporate employee within earshot of any other living, breathing fellow employee should have the word “genericize” scribbled on a chalky piece of paper and shoved down their throats.

Every indie music critic who uses the words “pop sensibilities” should be tied up and locked in a small attic alcove with Mariah Carey.

Every participant in an MTV production who utters “tight” in relation to anything other than the four-sizes-too-small jeans they are wearing around their chubby baby thighs should be forced to read an actual book, with words.

Every time George W. Bush stumbles on an “um” or “uh” we should all drink a shot of whiskey!

Heather B. Armstrong

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

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