the smell of my desperation has become a stench

Ingrown

No surgical procedure should ever begin with the words, “Tell me if this hurts,” particularly when such a procedure is being conducted by a husband wearing a headlamp and wielding a pair of tweezers.

Of course, when presented the opportunity to excavate the unruly barbed whiskers from the underside of her man’s chin, a wife should resist the overwhelming urge to declare, “Goldmine!”

Heather B. Armstrong

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

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