the smell of my desperation has become a stench

A Brief Respite in San Francisco

So we’re here in the anti-LA, stayed the night with some friends in the Richmond near Golden Gate Park, and it’s wet outside, which my skin totally loves but my hair is totally angry, and it’s revolting in large brillo patches.

We were supposed to leave early this morning and head up to who-knows-where in Oregon, but instead we’re reenacting Folgers commercials, scooting around in our socks, being lazy and marveling at all the abundant moisture. We walked around the park this morning for about an hour watching Chuck gallop through soggy grass and treating himself to what he thinks is chocolate pudding.

Right now we’re headed to Amoeba Records to spend money we don’t have, but isn’t that what vacationing is all about?

  • shy

    2002/11/23 at 9:44 am

    i love anti-l.a.! your vacation sounds perfect. i’m jealous.

  • the propagandist

    2002/11/23 at 10:05 am

    chocolate pudding?

    jesus. remind me to stop reading your blog in the morning.

    have fun in amoeba’s bowling alley…

  • ryan

    2002/11/23 at 10:13 am

    Sounds like chuck needs some educating =0 and I suppose you haven’t told him about Santa Claus yet either?

  • p-gal

    2002/11/23 at 10:21 am

    i’m homegrown in the anti-l.a and will always be an anti-l.a kind of girl….though i’m not so anti the part of l.a i lived in for a few years. well….i’m against all the tits and ass, real or otherwise. because i have none. real or otherwise. i digress.

  • Wayne

    2002/11/23 at 10:32 am

    Good travels to you, dooce. Take care of the hair. And your fuzzy traveling companion with the wet fur and urination problem. And take care of Chuck, too.
    How many days until we get a report on your sister’s hair?

  • ChibaCity

    2002/11/23 at 12:51 pm

    Wow Dooce is here — within mere blocks of me. Ok, I’m having one of those star-struck moments: What would I say? Would I wind up utterly embarrassed? Should I just leave him alone. (Oh…I meant Chuck).

    Well, I was actually just about to put a link for ‘Dooce’ in the ‘Utterly cool’ folder I just created when I read that you were nearby, and so while you’re here, let me a least thank you for the column (blog?). Look, is in the category of things I send to my sister as a way of coping with life, if that makes any sense. You’re a star, Dooce. Best of luck to you all. Oh, and thanks for the music!

  • stupid bint

    2002/11/23 at 1:01 pm

    time to stock up on the anti.frizz to go with the anti-l.a.

  • PJ

    2002/11/23 at 1:48 pm

    Chuck is a Poop-Eater??!! Ewww, gross! (Let us know what you pick up at Amoeba.)

  • SpiKe

    2002/11/23 at 2:02 pm

    Tell Chuck to be careful out there — they have killer dogs there.

  • Ex-liontamer

    2002/11/23 at 2:05 pm

    My friend and I had the pleasure to stay one night in Rosewood, Oregon: 1 street, 4 blocks, 2 motels. The only food open was a Domino’s Pizza staffed by Helga the refugee lumberjack. When my friend and I mentioned we were traveling from Baltimore, she asked, “A’int that in one-nna them tiny states back east?” Uh, ….yeah. ‘Nuff said.

  • April

    2002/11/23 at 3:33 pm

    That isn’t chocolate pudding?

  • Naaman

    2002/11/23 at 4:13 pm

    Geez, we should’ve had a Dooce convention or something. I didn’t even know you were coming to town. You could’ve at least stopped by 😉

  • Faile

    2002/11/23 at 6:39 pm

    So let me get this straight. Chocolate pudding equals mud, right, which is virtually non-existant in LA? Or was it really poo?

    — From Faile in Houston, where we scoff at the weakness of anyone who lives where there’s humidity of less than 90% on any given day.

  • nita

    2002/11/23 at 7:03 pm

    Does Who-knows-where in Oregon include the Or-ray-gun coast? I live on the northern end o’ the coast. I can email my phone number if you need a place to dry off (or let Chuckles run around inside a fenced yard.)

  • Sumsumm

    2002/11/24 at 9:51 am

    Hmmm… with such a love for… ahem… “chocolate pudding” maybe you ought to have gotten the Chuckster to an audition for a Cosby Jello commercial before you left L.A.?

  • Edsmonkey

    2002/11/24 at 5:02 pm

    Don’t feel bad about tha Chucksters fascination for “pudding”.
    Our male dawg discovered hidden piles of fox poo in our backyard when we moved here and has been happily rolling in them before the eventual comsumption. I have proof on film that I plan springing on friends and family during the holidays!

  • Heather #2

    2002/11/25 at 4:06 am

    You could make it to Ashland, Oregon, which is beautiful. The town is famous for it’s Shakespeare festival. And if you stop, you can visit the dog park, just off West Nevada Street. You can let Chuck off his leash to socialize – it’s open year-round. Happy travels!

  • shy

    2002/11/25 at 7:17 am

    totally off topic here… but what i just received by email? “Let us submit for FREE on Japanese search engines, German search engines, Hispanic search engines , French search engines , Chinese search engines etc…..!”

  • melissa

    2002/11/25 at 8:23 am

    Portland rocks!

  • Michael's nose

    2002/11/25 at 8:58 am

    Are you moving to Oregon or Utah?

  • Lola

    2002/11/25 at 11:33 am

    Welcome to San Francisco, Dooce and crew! I’m overly excited that you’re lollygagging around my city. Well. Not *mine* in the sense that I own it, but mine in the sense that I, like, live here and, er, stuff. Anyway. I’m all starstruck that the Dooce and doggery are frolicking about the hills and dales of my zip code. (What is a dale, anyway?)

  • brent

    2002/11/25 at 11:48 am

    never understood scat fascinations.

  • sx70

    2002/11/25 at 12:17 pm

    the amoeba in la is better than either of the amoebas in the bay area. phhhhffffft!

  • Austin

    2002/11/25 at 3:23 pm

    You should revel in the humidity. Sweaty, satiating sex is always best when it’s humid. How else do you think we cope living in Houston, the crotch of America?

  • Faile

    2002/11/30 at 10:01 am

    Heh. The crotch of America. Bad visuals there. But so true.

Heather B. Armstrong

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

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