the smell of my desperation has become a stench

A Selection of Recent, Random and Wholly Unrelated Observations, Volume I

One should never participate in a spontaneous bikini wax.

If one is taking regularly scheduled potty breaks, one is obviously not spending enough time looking for full-time employment and therefore will not qualify for an unemployment insurance extension.

My dog looks smashing in styling gel and bobby pins.

People should reconsider naming their children Kemper, or Kjeldon, or Kovar, or VeLyn, or JeLyn, or Hyrum, or Helium, or Allegra. I refuse to refer to your child as Prophet Joseph, Jr.

My mom really is the Avon World Sales Leader. She so wasn’t kidding.

Some of the people who read a website and make comments on that website are COMPLETELY INSANE.

Heather B. Armstrong

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

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