the smell of my desperation has become a stench

Isn’t She Lovely?

There are moments when I honestly think that things can’t get any worse, moments like Saturday morning when I threw my back out, moments like this morning when The Bladder Infection came back into my life. Childbirth has turned me into a blood-peeing cripple whose breath smells like prune juice.

If I didn’t have the most goddamn adorable baby in the world I would have already asked for my money back. I don’t know how women with ugly babies do it. I mean, a bad back, a recurring bladder infection, AND an ugly baby? That’s totally grounds for suing God.

Heather B. Armstrong

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

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