An unfiltered fire hose of flaming condemnation


  • mari

    Chuck looks so noble in that picture.

  • stephanie (a.k.a. one of the “Cabbage People”)

    Chuck is the cutest! If you decided to sell pics of him, I would buy a magnet (or something)with the picture of him with the flowery baby towel on his head. That was the best!
    On the subject of pooping: I pooped several times when pushing. It was bad enough that the nurses and Dr. had to see, but my Hubby saw too. Ugh, I sure hope he doesn’t remember! I know I’ll never forget it!

  • Liz

    I just have to say that I am so voting for him for president… and so are my kitties! Go Congressman Chuckles!

  • red

    i live in oklahoma, and our grass is NEVER that green and fluffy. great shot – so glad you’re doing this daily!

  • kim

    he looks really grown-up in that picture. like a real watch-dog – and for some reason i’ve always thought he’s a wimp. certainly a handsome one though!

  • What I want to know is, how can you have a dog and lovely grass? My yard looks like I’m running cattle through it instead of 2.5 hounds.

  • no photoshop work on this pic, the camera is that good. we’ve got sprinklers, and this is utah, so that grass is partially artificial. and yes, that green.

  • ereed

    is your grass really that green or is that a PS maneuver? dag. thats some green grass. mine is sorta a sad money color. i feel inspired to seed it now. and to get a dog.

  • Suz

    Chuck is awesome. If my dog Audrey wasn’t…you know…”fixed” I’d totally try to hook them up.

    By the way, are you watching the Google ads you’re getting? It’s hilarious. Apparently your site has been deemed a worthy cowbell outlet.

  • Chuck is cool! He would love my dog, Ginger. We rescued her and she nearly died from distemper, but she’s doing great now. My sister-in-law is a labor and delivery nurse, and she says nurses don’t even notice when a laboring mom poops. She said they just swipe it out of the way and move on. She was my nurse when I had all 4 of my kids, and I asked her how much I pooped when I had mine. She just smiled that enigmatic smile of hers and told me not to worry about it. I don’t think that’s a good sign at all. ;P

  • beachgal

    What a great pic! I love it! It DOES look like you are spying on him. Such a beautiful dog. He’s very lucky to have a mama like you. Even though you wrap spaghetti around his snout sometimes.

  • midwifegoddessannie

    Chuck is so handsome… Back to the pooping issue. Yes… more women poop when they are pushing out their babies than not. Its not about loss of control as much as the rectum getting so squashed with the pressure of the descending head. There is not enough room in your lower pelvis for poop AND a baby’s head! But it really isn’t an issue for those attending the birth… so don’t be scared ladies.. just PUSH AS HARD AS YOU CAN!!!! Is there any job more worthwhile than pushing your baby into the world??

  • Great composition. What’s The Congressman watching?

  • Cathy

    Chuck is the coolest dog ever.

    I really like that picture because it looks like you’re spying on him from behind the bushes.

  • bboop

    i’m always picking stuff up i’ve dropped on the floor and eating it. what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.

  • Have to add my poop story! When going through labor with “Tiny E”, I was bearing down while going through contractions and trying to walk from the hot tub to the delivery room. During one contraction, I pooped right there in the hallway. Wait it gets better! In addition to the nurses, my OB and husband who witnessed the lovely event was the birth class who were just letting out from their weekly class. Very educational for those couples!

  • midwifegoddessannie

    Please don’t get caught up with the poop thing ladies – I have had some women get scared of pushing because they are scared of pooping. It really isn’t that big a deal. It’s usually a small nugget that will be cleaned up discretely and you probably won’t even know it’s happened. Just be glad you are fully dilated and going to have a natural delivery!

  • beachgal

    I didn’t mean to come across as the spaghetti was a bad thing. I think it’s funny…if I ever have spaghetti, and remember to do it, I’m gonna wrap my dog’s snouts.

    Regardless, he’s a lucky dog to be so loved.

  • I must admit I did not think about the whole giving birth and pooping, but not shocked by either. One of the many “lovely” things our horse vet Dr. John has to do before ultrasounding one of our mares is clean out the rectum…by hand. We don’t pay him enough…wait a mintue, yes we do.

  • DJ

    Love you. Love your baby. Love your dog. Love your site. Would you consider adopting an almost 37 year old chick? I hardly ever bleat.

  • Chuck is like the cutest dog ever. Except for mine that is. Oh yeah – and mine only WISH that I would attempt to wrap spaghetti around any part of their bodies. I would but I’ve become kinda attached to my fingers and all.

  • One time I woke up on the couch at 5 a.m. with the TV on and my hand in a bag of Fritos. I was, I believe, still drunk.

    Three days later at work, I checked my pocket and found a Frito in it.

    I didn’t eat it. But part of me wishes I had.

  • Yeah I’m sorry to say but there is very little beauty in the birthing experience… with all the poop, pain and such. Of course the final outcome is a whole different story, Leta is adorable.

  • patricia

    Uh, beachgal? He’s lucky BECAUSE she wraps spaghetti around his snout.

  • Heather B.
    I donno, photos and poop do not mix! So I’ll just make a connect about the new Dooceiarie:
    Leta Porcelain – Art expressing beauty – wow!
    Lookout – great photo, Chuck takes direction well!

    Love the way you are mixing in the comments that used to be sidebars -exceprional idea
    If I ever have to explain creativity, I’ll just link to your blog!

    Love you guys…

  • All the poop talk is hilarious. Wonder what kind of Google ads these comments will cause…

    Chuck, as always, is a totally handsome guy. He has such human expressions on his face.

  • becky

    I’d heard about the poop a few years ago. Now two of my friends are pregnant and more specific questions come to mind, like is it setup where there’s something that catches the poop or is it just so messy you don’t really notice? What goes on exactly? No one will say.

    Also, on topic, I love your photos! This site has inspired me to take tons of pics with my digital camera and a few I’m actually pleased with.

    Dooce, any thoughts of a section where you school your readers on different techniques of taking or fixing photos (I know you once shared a photoshop technique)?

  • Dude, I am so with you, introverted! Who knew?

    Anyway, great pic, I’m digging the redesign! And I’m getting a good giggle out of the google ads too. The best is the ad for LDS personals!

  • eco2geek

    As a guy who’s chosen not to have kids, I didn’t know that gals pooped during childbirth. Very educational! It’s not surprising, really, since your colon must get squarshed during delivery.

    I’d think the worst thing about giving birth (besides the pain) would be having all those people (doctors, nurses, family members) standing around, looking at your private parts. *Filming* your private parts. Ugh.

    You do have a fine-looking dog.

  • introverted

    Good Good, why is it no one has mentioned this pooping-during-labor business before?!?! For preparatory purposes, I am an avid “A Baby Story” watcher on TLC– there is no mention of this. This adds a whole new ugly side to the process, which is already pretty nasty. Geez, what doesn’t come out of those two orifice(s) during labor & delivery?! I need to RE-think this whole baby business.

  • Rachel

    Sometimes, when I need a laugh, I flip back to your story about Chuck getting caught under the couch or look at your pictures of Chuck with spaghetti wrapped around his nose. He is a kick ass dog, and he and my lab could totally be, like, BFF, I know it. Love the redesign and so happy the world is looking brighter to you these days.

  • He looks like if an intruder really came, he would lick them to death.

  • Oh, about the poop. I didn’t poop when I had my baby because he was a c-section, but they wouldn’t let me leave the hospital until I did poop and proved it to them.

  • Chuck is soooo beautiful. That is a wonderful picture. If I can pry my husband’s fingers off our camera long enough I might just have some photos one day, too.

    I was reminded of you last night, Heather, when I had poop problems. You poor, poor woman.

  • doody

    i like chuck and think he is very photogenic. i pooped when i was pushing, too. my husband didn’t only see it, but feels the need to tell ALL of our friends who are fathers-to-be. my sister saw it too… someday when she has a baby, i don’t want to see her poop. I guess I am just not a very good sister.

  • aden

    This is a great picture. Although my favorite picture of Chuck is the begging for poptart one. He is such a handsome boy.

  • That is one good looking dog…

  • I may be a heretic, but I have to admit to preferring More Chuck, Please! to any amount of Cowbells. Chuck is a fine dog, and I especially admire his fine nose. I think you should start a Congressman Chuck School of Canine Modelling.

  • but does he bark? chieka goes nuts if the dog six houses away farts. perhaps that’s just a chihuahua thing.

    chuck is so sweet!

  • i do love me some chuck. 🙂

  • I love pictures of Chuck. I love pictures of the porcelain perfection that is Leta as well. I really love pictures of Chuck and Leta TOGETHER…especially when Chuck has that look on his face and you can tell he’s thinking “I love my yummy pink treat!” :o)

  • Dana

    p.s. The cowbell skit is my 2nd fav SNL. Christopher Walken was awesome! Danny Devito as the Gap manager is #1 though!

  • Is Nikon aware of what a good model Chuck is? Maybe Chuck is capable of bringing home some family bacon, too. 😉

  • maggie

    During my ob/gyn rotation in med school, I learned that almost every mom poops during labor, and the only ones that don’t poop are the ones that get an enema at the right time, which is notoriously difficult to predict. We used to tell the moms to push “like they were making poop,” so it really doesn’t surprise anyone when they actually do poop. Anyway, the poop really was no big deal, we would just swipe it out of the way and put another “chuck” (plastic-bottomed absorbant sheet, not unlike a 2×3 ft maxi-pad) on top so the baby doesn’t come out into a face full of poop. Heh, poop.

    In other comments, your google ads are hysterical, especially the one for buying poptarts in bulk.

  • Dana

    I love this picture!!

    What a beautiful boy he is!

  • wish i would have researched better and gotten the nikon instead of a canon!

  • Angela

    Love the picture, love the dog, love you and your family, love the redesign! Especially love that you are doing well and posting a lot! Take care.

  • Cristina

    Oh, the poop. Yes, my future husband, future doctor, loves to inform me of what will happen when I give birth. He came home with lovely tales from his OB rotation.

    Enough poop, on to Chuck–have you tried the peanut butter yet?

  • So. . . I am ebarassed to admit that I had no idea wtf you were talking about with the cowbells and the SNL, thus prompting my internet search.

    Should anyone care to relive this legacy, you can watch the skit by clicking “watch the cowbell skit” here:

    Now I get it!

  • anothermama

    A word of warning. I am the mother of an eleven month old baby. I learned the hard way. Never, ever feed your baby AN ENTIRE BANANA for breakfast. Talk about poop.

Heather B. Armstrong

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

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