the smell of my desperation has become a stench

Email: Poop

Hey Heather,
Few people in the world will find this amusing…thought you might be one of them.  A co-worker told me 5 minutes ago that she was uber constipated while pregnant due to her triple dose of iron pills and the fact that pooping is a chore for her to begin with.  While giving birth — not sure if it was at the same time or just during labor — her contractions helped her poop along the way.  Well, her daughter weighed in at 5lbs and THE PILE OF SHIT WAS 10 lbs!   The nurses actually weighed it because they thought it was so funny! Unreal.

– N

(DOOCE NOTE: That woman may just beat me when it comes to the contest of constipation. And pooping during labor is MUCH more common than people are willing to admit. I am not willing to admit that I pooped three times during labor, because admitting that would be gross. And this website is totally not about being gross. Or about poop.)

Heather B. Armstrong

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

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