the smell of my desperation has become a stench

Why I don’t live in Seattle

My mother was visiting my brother in Seattle this weekend, and while she was unpacking she was talking to my five-year-old niece, Rachel, and she asked, “Rachel, do you know if there are any dry cleaners near your house?”

Rachel looked a bit confused and answered, “My mommy has a dryer.”

My mother then explained, “Actually, a dry cleaner is a place where you take your clothes to be cleaned and pressed, and then they give them back to you in plastic bags.”

Rachel then perked up and informed her, “Linda, we don’t have places like that in this part of the country.”

Heather B. Armstrong

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

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