An unfiltered fire hose of flaming condemnation

When I say Jesus, you say Jesus, say Jesus. JESUS!

  • I’m sure Jesus would bomb these children …

    No. Wait. *We* were the ones that blew that kid’s head to bits like a smashed pumpkin.

    I voted today. My blue vote in this red red state. That sticker is brilliant.

  • jen

    One of my neighbors has this on a bumper sticker (paraphrased):

    When Jesus said, “Love thy neighbor,” he probably meant “Don’t Kill Them.”

    Oh, and Leta clearly has her father’s bottom system.

  • Dee

    Debutant – I add this one

    sorry dooce — I am hogging up your space today — I have a day off work and cannot stay away from the computer — I’ll be back at work tomorrow though 😉

  • rlk

    it takes a brave women to bring up Politcs and Jesus, will the comments ever end?

  • introverted

    Please stop saying “Cali”. Nobody who’s really from California says “I’m from Cali”. You’re an import. We don’t say “Cali”.

  • Dee

    lol introverted, you must really be Arnold

  • Oh Leta. I can’t wait until you get potty-trained. I hope your mama (that’s right, “MAMA”) still has her website because I will be endlessly entertained by your mama’s (there it is again, “MAMA”) recounts of your attempts to master the toilet.

    From She Who Is Currently Stuck In Toilet Training Hell Herself

  • bunny

    Do most of you, honestly, care what Jesus says about anything?

    Yeah, that is what i thought.

    Let’s leave Him out of our petty politics.

  • Graygirl

    I am continually amazed at the subjects that generate so many comments…..politics, poop and now Jesus!

  • Guy Slade
  • Sue from Ohio

    Too many great ideas for a website name….

    who would Jesus get ‘bombed’ with?

  • Sue from Ohio

    and would he get bombed on French Champagne?

  • …of france lady

    G. McFuzz- thanks for the link. i did, in fact, look it up and read every word. it’s a complicated election. i hope whoever is best for our country wins. god, i hope so.

  • Dee

    ok ready, here I go again – this one is for Guy –

    I believe that the President is a person like everyone else. I believe the President has his own views and ideals and he believes he is right just like the rest of us. I believe the President did the best he could with what he was given and within the constraints of his personal views and the views of the rich. I believe that regarless of who gets to be the next President, he is a person. I believe that not everyone will agree with everything either of the presidential candidates will do in the next four years. I believe that no one person will satify 100% of the population now will his views match those of any individual 100% of the time

    I believe Iraq, Iran, Cuba, Afghanistan, Vietnam, Germany, and the US are in the same Planet. I believe in equal rights. I belive in the power of people. I belive that people can be the best they can be if they pull together for a common cause.

    I believe that the differences in people and their believes are what makes the world unique, good, and bad. I believe that its up to the people to make this country and the Planet better and the President can’t control the outcome of the masses pulling together for what they believe in.

    I believe I will never agree with anything I currently disagree with unless something that affects me personaly smacks me in the face. I believe I cannot convince anyone else to be like me because they are not me.

    Most of all I believe war can be avoided if people believe in themselves and pull together in passive ways. I believe I support Our Troops because it is my duty to do so…but I also believe that war is never an answer. I believe that people need to learn that we are in a shared world and no one nation has a right to a bigger piece of the pie.

    I believe in jokes, funnies, and ha ha’s. I believe in mischief. I believe in Halloween, Christmas, and I believe in Fairies.

  • thank you, yas. because the first thing i thought was “whom! whom would jesus bomb, goddammit!”

  • Graygirl

    OH….and while we are on the subject of abortion and bumber stickers:


  • Darcie

    Re: Play-do doo on the changing table.

    If it’s a mighty, mighty mess, at my house that’s what we call a “pootastrophy.” (We don’t say shit so as not to teach the baby cursewords.) You have my permission to use the term yourownself.

    Girl, you give way too much airtime to the nasty hate mongers–those who are just jell-azz of you (cute baby, cute hairs, funny blog) and want to bring you down. There are many, many more of us who think you are phenoma-mama and wish you nothing but lightness of heart. So there.

  • Amanda B.

    LL Cool J soooo said “Cali”.

    It’s extremism that freaks me out. I was raised in southern Mississippi as a NON-CHRISTIAN. So, I’ve had my share of flayings from fundementalists. I do however believe in God and have been kicked in the teeth by many an Aetheist.

    I don’t mean to go all Oprah here, but I really think everbody has the right to find their own path. And your path doesn’t have to intersect mine in order for me to respect you.

    I’ve found that adopting an “i don’t give a fuck what you think about my beliefs” attitude has been very helpful. It doesn’t always work, because people really go for the jugular sometimes. Most of the time I can just say, “I understand that you feel that way.” and walk off.

    I swear though, if one more person tells me i’m “going to hell” or makes fun of my “imaginary friend”, my zen is going to turn straight into a can of ass whoop.

  • Can we mix poop and politics? I think that would be funnier. No wait. Poop = politics. Maybe that’s why this site exists? 🙂

    BTW, In my house, a loaded diaper was called a full metal jacket.

  • katie

    whoa.. current google ad: PARTIAL BIRTH ABORTION. hahaha.

  • nameless

    There is no one righteous, not even one. romans 3:10

    I think Jesus said some pretty important things. Doesn’t anyone care anymore?

    “But now they have seen these miracles, and yet they have hated both me and my Father. 25But this is to fulfill what is written in their Law: ‘They hated me without reason.'” John 15:25

    16″For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son,[6] that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. 17For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him. 18Whoever believes in him is not condemned, but whoever does not believe stands condemned already because he has not believed in the name of God’s one and only Son.[7] 19This is the verdict: Light has come into the world, but men loved darkness instead of light because their deeds were evil. 20Everyone who does evil hates the light, and will not come into the light for fear that his deeds will be exposed. 21But whoever lives by the truth comes into the light, so that it may be seen plainly that what he has done has been done through God.”[

  • kp

    Jesus IS coming. Look busy.

    BTW introverted? I’m from Cali, and I say Cali. It’s shorter and easier to type. Get over it.

    But I DON’T ever say Frisco. I say The City.

  • Joe

    Yas — you need to understand that most Americans don’t understand the difference between “Who” and “Whom”. I think you can rest assured that it should have been “Whom would Jesus bomb?”

    But your other suggestion has its own implications.

  • Have you guys noticed what a beautiful thumbnail this photo makes up top in the right margin? It’s perfect.

  • Kim

    Did I ever tell you how I have your website bookmarked as a favorite? Yours and your lovely geeky husband’s… are under “Parenting”

    Yes… and I love it!!

  • Dee


    Your bags are beatiful!

  • Stacy

    I think it is horrible that a site so dedicated to the love of a baby would have abortion ads on it…that’s just wrong. All from a damn bumper sticker picture, people sure can go off on tangents! I liked to constipation relief ads much better! 🙂

  • I think that is rather amusing, and its on a TDI. how much better can it be?

    I heard the phrase “nothing is hotter than a rebelling mormon” on tv and I thought of you.

  • Eheh. That’s rich. Who indeed?

  • MrsDoF

    on another topic, and I am not sure if I am doing this correctly but–over at BBC News, there is an airline stewardess who is about to lose her job because of what she wrote on her ‘blog. Unfortunately, the term Dooce is not written within the article, but we know of a similar background.

  • Amanda B.

    What abortion ads? What’s a TDI?

  • the dog appears to appreciate the sign…

  • ANNE! Annnnne I too am in potty training hell. *I feel your pain.* It wasn’t my idea. It was that little punk Joshua and his Once Upon a Potty. I was perfectly great with the diaper routine. Eventually he probably would have learned to change his own diapers, and in the meantime I could do important things like sleep and shower and read Dooce’s web site.

    I am feeling very betrayed by all the parenting books. They should have a huge red chapter written on thick glossy paper so you can’t miss it that WARNS you about the potty training.

    Heather I know you get enough advice but this is different. This is GOOD, IMPORTANT advice: *Never ever ever potty train Leta.* The disturbing sight you witnessed this morning was a thing of beauty compared with the indescribable amounts of toddler poop that will consume your life once you initiate the potty training sequence.

  • Kano

    Ummmm and what if you are Jewish?

  • Amanda B.

    Jewish people ROCK! what’s a TDI??

  • Jason

    kp has it right – Cali is faster to type, but SF is The City.

    And I’m not an import, CA born and I’ve lived here ever since.

    How many NorCal kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Hella.
    How long does it take them? Days. (and yes, they are meant to be bad jokes)

  • “Full Metal Jacket”! Bwah!

  • I saw a tshirt the other day that had a picture of Jesus hang gliding and it said “What wouldn’t Jesus do?” Too funny!

    Hope everyone is having a wonderful day!

  • It’s funny how people who are non Christians, go all over making fun of Jesus, and putting his name in stupid jokes like this bumper sticker. And by the way, Mormons aren’t Christians… they just “think” they are. If they looked carefully, the Mormon bible has tons of errors in it. Having tons of children to fill souls that are lingering in heaven, and dying and getting your own planet… there’s something wrong with that belief.

  • hey martha, its called Satire.

  • Dave Thomas

    It’s funny how people who are Christians go all over spreading nakedly bigoted remarks about religions whose doctrines they know nothing about.

    If Martha’s a Christian, who’d want to be one?

  • Melynda

    It’s funny how people are so quick to judge an entire religion based on one person’s comment who is of that faith.

  • Randall

    re: When the Discovery Channel meets real life

    If Leta’s really lucky, her friends will be able to find archives of this post when she’s thirteen.

  • Oh, for cryin’ out loud, Martha. Even Jesus had a sense of humor.

  • Dave Thomas

    Melynda, I don’t think that’s funny at all. It’s sad. Which also happens to be the whole point of my post.

    You see, I think Martha is a poor example of a Christian. Nonw, if I thought she was a fair example of a Christian, I would have said something like “All Christians are like Martha, so Christianity bites.”

    Happy to spell it out for you!

  • Graygirl:

    Some people *shouldn’t* be trusted with a child any more than they should be trusted with a choice.

    I despise stupid bumperstickers.

  • Melynda

    Hey Dave, heard of sarcasm much??? See when I said, “It’s funny how…” I was being sarcastic.

    Apparantly I must speak to you like a 2 yr old.

  • Whoah. Hold the bitterness and hostility please. This is for Jason – love the jokes. I’m from Sacramento…and I just loved the look on a friend’s face who was new to the area when I told him that a good place to hang out is in “Old Sac” eewwwww.

  • Don King

    Ooh Ooh! Christian fight!

    The question is, who would Jesus lay $5 down for?

  • Amanda B.

    WhoMever tells me what a TDI wins the argument and is the master of all correctness.

Heather B. Armstrong

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

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