An unfiltered fire hose of flaming condemnation

When the Discovery Channel meets real life

The Republican National Committee is sponsoring a series of ads in Utah that feature God’s voice condemning a candidate for governor for being a Democrat. God quotes the candidate in his booming, omniscient voice, “I am what I am, A DEMOCRAT.” And you can hear the thundering sound of windows being boarded up all over Utah at the realization that there is a Democrat among us!

Last night while we were getting Leta ready for her bath, that same booming voice came out of the sky and warned, “You are DEMOCRATS, and now you must watch as SHIT comes out of your daughter’s ASS.”

And then as Leta rested naked on the changing table a Play-Doh Fun Factory doo doo log crawled out of her butt, right there in front of us. It must have been five inches long. And we just stood there and WATCHED. IT HAPPEN. I have never felt so violated.

I turned to Jon sand said, “Do you feel like we’re being punished?”

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Heather B. Armstrong

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

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