the smell of my desperation has become a stench

Stand and be counted

I woke up this morning TOTALLY ELECTRIFIED. Because we get to vote and that is just so awesome. All morning long I did a little “I’m gonna VOTE!” dance which I would never do in public because I’ve embarrassed Jon enough. The dance resembles a chicken who is drunk and retarded at the same time.

So we voted, and Jon wore Leta on his chest as he voted and she groaned the whole time, not because she was disappointed with how he was voting but because Jon is super tall and he had to lean WAY over to punch the card on the voting table and she was almost horizontal, just dangling there, like a Florida chad.

Can you feel it in the air? Today is History, and we are living it. Please vote, and if you feel so inclined, dance like a drunk retarded chicken.

Heather B. Armstrong

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

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