Best way to roast the broomstick. Must try. Five Stars.

Newsletter: Month Nine

Dear Leta, Today you turn nine-months-old. This means that you have been outside of my womb for as long as you were inside it. At first it seemed you didn’t like it on this side that much, but in the last month you have turned…

November 3, 2004

How many exclamation points does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Someone just sent me an email, again full of exclamation points (!!!!!!!), saying that I’m just mad because my boyfriend John Kerry has lost!!!!!!! Yes, she used SEVEN exclamation points. Actually, I broke up with John Kerry years ago, and I’m currently pursuing Dick Cheney,…


Yeah I voted the shit out of that vote this morning. Took me forever to find a parking spot over by the magnet school, and here’s me, unsuccessfully trying to parallel park: “I’m being fucking disenfranchised over here!” This place sported the old-school switch-n-lever booths,…


George Bush would be a great president . . . of France!!!!