An unfiltered fire hose of flaming condemnation

Drunkenstein smoking a carrot

  • Colleen


  • liz

    is it me or does it look like Drunkenstein is wearing earrings? or, rather, an earring.

  • ereed

    with a sippy cup to to wash that homegrown carrot down.

  • Brooke

    The thumbnail of this picture scared the crap out of me.

  • I love the lighting in that picture.

  • Ali

    My boyfriend was Frankenstein last year… and that, too, morphed into drunkenstein. Since we are bored college students and have nothing better to do, I painted his face green…and as I was the Bride of Frankenstein, my face was white with a bit of blood around my mouth.

    By the end of the night the green shit was all over my face because Drunkenstein got a little too friendly.

  • unfiltered carrots give you that nice mellow buzz…

  • brooke r

    i love that painting in the background. did a friend do it?

  • stella

    love the sippycup.

  • Em

    That Frankenstein. He’s wacky.

  • I bet Drunkenstein had a few glasses of …… ummm carrot juice, before taking the picture

    Ayyy, scary!

  • Were you anything for Halloween, Dooce?

  • Looks like he’s copping a healthy buzz from whatever he was drinking out of that sippy cup in front of him. Was it breastmilk? That shit gets me wasted, too.

  • Lighting / wall colour co-ordination for the carrot plus halloween?!

  • There may have been a rap song about this… Rolling down the street, smoking carrots, sipping on sippy cups.

  • Nice Halloween coloring… very orange 🙂

  • It starts with an innocent carrot, but where will it all end? Before you know it he’ll be on the hard stuff and selling your family silver for a hit of broccoli.

    Just say no!

  • lady quicksilver

    Chris from Ohio, you just made my monday bright. Laid back…

  • Heather–

    I’m a breastfeeding (bf) mom of a 4 month old, and after accidentally misjudging the size of my bodacious tatas I whacked them into a doorjamb this weekend. I’m ready to trade in the D’s for my old size A’s and never, ever complain again.

    I have only known one other woman with smaller breasts than I, she being 5’0 and 95 lbs.

  • Liz

    So, Drunkenstein is drinking…from Leta’s sippy cup?

  • what is garrison keillor doing in Utah?

  • MrsDoF

    for Liz at comment 2
    I don’t think that is an earring. It looks like the bolt thingy that holds on the head of Fr…um..Drunkenstein, and is part of the mask. You know the Original was made of body parts stolen from graves, so they had to hold together somehow.

  • Sue From Ohio

    Was Drunkenstein (THAT’S DRUNKENSHTEEN!) drinking out of that sippy cup? BAAHAHAHAAA

  • Sue From Ohio

    Sherman…BAHAHAHAAAAA Good One!!!!

    (forgive my negligence in adding this to my previous post….)

  • I’ve seen that pose before… but it was a three-year-old, and it was not “I’m gonna smoke this carrot” but “I’m gonna stick this carrot up my nose unless you come chase me for a little while.”

  • shelli

    I like the sippy cup in the corner, nice composition! 🙂

  • highly amusing, those carrots are some strong stuff.

    from the thumbnail, I thought you had met William Defoe, oops.

  • MrsDoF

    Speaking as a former 13-year-old size 34C, admiration would go up several notches for Aunt Heather who acknowledges and bolsters the esteem of the blooming young woman behind the nice knockers. Believe me, her girlfriends and smartass guys have already noticed. She’s gonna need a doting Auntie at her side. And I would hope she has a strong Mom on the other.
    Whewee, makes me glad we raised sons at our house, and they usually treat their ladies pretty good.
    Your family stories are the Best!

  • erin

    Garrison Keilor…ROTFLMAO!!

  • George Lover

    Anita-haven’t heard the phrase “bodacious tatas” in awhile, but it made me laugh outloud!

  • Hee hee. That picture is awesome.

    All *my* husband does is dress up like Kermit the Frog on acid.

    Crazy drunkenstien.

  • Jeff

    I am sure the carrots are a pretty good smoke, but think of all the weed(s). 🙂 Sorry, I could not help myself.


  • Heather

    Ok so if he’s Drunkenstein Cheech then you must have been Dracula Chong. Puff puff give. LMAO

  • you should all just know that Drunkenstein is a GREAT kisser.

  • robin

    Love the sippy cup. Although, alcohol doesn’t pour out of that fast enough.

  • Amanda B.

    Oooooh, I lurve Garrison Keillor.

    I’m with Brooke, that thumbnail was freakin scary. I was afraid the caption was gonna be, “This is my great aunt Edna at her 113th birthday party. Isn’t she precious?”


  • re: “you should all just know that Drunkenstein is a GREAT kisser.”

    sarcastic… obscene… latex… joke… comment… overload…!!!!

  • Redsie

    Wow! Drunkenstein looks a helluva lot like Ronald Reagan (R.I.P, Gipper).
    Making out with men in costume is fun.

  • Great photo, as usual, but again, let’s talk wings. So, you find that the bleu cheese is a better choice than the ranch? I, for one, believe that the ranch offers a superior cooling effect to the bleu cheese, but alas, that is me.

    If you don’t stop talking about the wings, dooce, I’m going to have to blow this regimen I call a diet and go on a wing bender.

  • heidi

    Once, at a party, I watched two friends of mine make a rockin’ pipe using a large carrot, a cordless drill, and a small piece of window screen material.

  • The title makes me giggle every time I read it. That coupled with the actual picture should leave me rolling for a while.

  • Who knew Frankenstein drank out of a sippy cup????

  • Stacy

    how come when you take a partially blocked picture it has that great stalker appeal, but when I do it, it just looks like I’m a moron who doesn’t know to step away from the damn wall?

  • Caroline

    I just wanted to give a drunken ‘shout out’ to George; if he lived in Ohio I’d be all over him. Call me.

  • That is a very cool painting!

  • Caroline

    *puts hand resembling phone up to ear*

  • As a resident of vanilla, prefabricated Orange County, CA, which you so perfectly described today, I just want to say one thing: it’s better than Fresno.

  • Amanda B.

    George, you might want to give Caroline a ringy dingy.

  • annakay

    speaking of george, saturday night i dreamed that he was at my (yes, mormon) church on sunday morning. i almost went, just to see if he’d show up. been to minneapolis lately, george?

  • timothy

    what is in the sippy cup?

Heather B. Armstrong

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

read more