the smell of my desperation has become a stench

Yes, we dipped them in bleu cheese

Dude. They sell spicy hot buffalo wings at Costco. IN BULK. I have found religion.

Last night while Jon was reading Leta her bedtime story I prepared a pan of wings to put in the oven. I counted out six for me and six for him, and then I had a premonition and put one extra on the pan. Normally I would have just prepared the whole bag of 50 wings, but alas, isn’t there some saying about moderation in all things? Yeah, that’s a DUMB saying, but I want to be able to eat wings every night this week so I have to show some restraint.

Once they were out of the oven and cool enough to eat I ate my six and he ate his six in about 40 seconds. And there sat that extra one I had put into the mix, and it sat there begging to be eaten. And Jon looked at me, and I looked at him, and he looked at me, and I looked at him, and this would have continued for infinity, but Jon finally asked, “How hungry are you?”

And I knew he needed that extra wing. That’s why I had plucked it from the bag and placed it on the pan, because I knew that he was going to need that one extra morsel of Heaven. And for those of you who have come across this website and think you have found the most crass, awful person on the Internet, YOU SHOULD KNOW that I gave him that extra wing. THAT’S how much love I have in my heart.

Heather B. Armstrong

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

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