An unfiltered fire hose of flaming condemnation

The Pimp and his friend Iccas

That’s Roger on the left. He dressed up as Issac, the bartender from “The Love Boat,” and because no one could tell who he was he put a name tag on his shirt that said, “Hello, I’m Issac.” I was drinking gin all night, and gin, well, it was the gin’s fault that I swear to god his name tag said, “Iccas.” And I called him that all night.

  • renee

    wow. no comments yet. i’m sure that’s not really true. love the site Dooce!

  • e

    Iccas is a good name – save it for the next baby in case it’s a boy! haha

  • “Yo, where’s my bitches at?”

  • Sarah In Alaska

    He looks like an Iccas to me, gin or no gin.

  • jastereo

    so who’s the pimp?

  • Erika

    As always, thank you for your candor, Dooce. I one battled a real eating disorder for about 4 months, when I was severely depressed and could not eat. When I did eat nothing would stay in my body. This all came about because I thought that if I lost enough weight my fiance’ would come back to me. Luckily he did not come back, I started to eat again once I looked like I might break in half, and now I am very normal and happy. Self image is a killer.

  • Liz

    Don’t you remember the old testament story of Iccas and the ark of devotion?

  • Who’s the pimp?

  • Ah, ‘drunken dyslexia’! Whilst better than ‘drunken tourettes’, will both make for a very special evening.

  • amber

    You’re just not having fun if you can still use phonetics appropriately.

  • Mir

    Well, the bartender’s name is Isaac, so it’s really Roger’s fault for spelling it wrong.

  • Suzy

    Who’s that with him? Guido the killer pimp?

  • It bothers me that I know this. Ted Lange was the actor’s name who played the bartender from “The Love Boat.”

  • stella

    I love it, Issac from the love boat! what a great idea.

  • Michael

    For what it’s worth —

    Children who grow up in rigid, inflexible families exercise control in two ways: what they eat and when they shit. I suspect the chronic constipation that you have written about before is another facet of the same eating disorder, only now it’s become a habit rather than a control method.

    Cymbalta! Klonopin! Good drugs! Use every day…ooooooo…sweet.

  • D

    Dude, I wanna sit on his mustache.

  • Now that you mentioned it.. he does look like Issac…. but who’s the pimp?

  • ’cause I’m a cowboy, baby!

    tell me that is not supposed to be Kid Rock schmoozing it up with Iccas, the evil twin of Isaac the Bartender…

  • the pimp is Bill. Bill the Pimp.

  • Em

    The pimp is cracking me up. Awesome.

  • I think I knew someone they called, “Bill the Pimp”, but that was a blurry time, so maybe not.

  • kim

    I’d call him Iccas too. From now on.

    Hey, can I use this blog to unashamedly promote a comic that I really like that is at risk of ending? He has quit the mainstream media, pulled out from the “syndicate” and is looking to start a new way of reading comic strips. Online by membership. I’ve joined (risk free). Would it be ok to post that address here? He was really popular and quit a couple of months ago. FUNNNY!

  • stomach ache in cali..

    i love the pimp’s get-up. i was that guy last year, and i think from now on i will always be that guy.

    sidenote: buffalo wings – i just had to have some last night. there is a restuarant near us called Original Buffalo Wings – im not sure if they are necessarily original, but they are really. fucking.good. so i ordered up a dozen, which come as a baker’s dozen, thinking i would only eat like 8 or 9 of them. fat chance. polished off the entire lot, plus the blue cheese and celery they pack with em.

    sidenote: my stomach hurts this morning..really.fucking.bad.


  • Dooce, your courage is just amazing. I’d bet there are a lot more women out there than anyone suspects who are overly conscious of everything they put into their mouths. I’m fine when I’m on my own, but when I eat with others I’m constantly monitoring to make sure I’m not eating more than everyone else at the table, or eating faster than everyone else at the table, or enjoying the tasty fattening things more than anyone else at the table.

  • but did he do that hip, finger pointing thing all night? cause you know that’s cool.

    i think the best i could pull off would be a mean captain stewbing.

    damn, genetics suck.

  • Catalina

    Thanks Dooce. I have struggled with the same disorder since I was 15 years old. Your courage has given me strength just when I needed it.

  • shy

    the pimp reminds me of my husband on his stag night. the boys kidnapped him and forced him to dress up as a pimp all night long. they were seriously disappointed that he was enjoying it instead of being embarassed.

  • Ohh, wonderful haircut! I’ve always told my hairdresser I want the same but he is never able to make it right.. hehe I swear 😉

  • Kathy

    Heather….you mentioned exercising. I found spin biking about 6 months ago and wow, what a great feeling when done, I’m hooked on it. Try it sometime if you want a hard workout. Love your website.

  • JLC

    I had an eating disorder from my late teens into my mid twenties and still find it hard not to obsess about my body and what I’m putting into my mouth. Thanks for sharing your story. It’s the last thing I would want for my (future) daughter, too.

  • I was looking at the box one clicks on for the picture of the day and was trying to figure out what a bunch of zebra stripes was going to turn out to be.

  • Danika
  • Sue From Ohio

    I thought ‘Iccas’ was impersonating a really permed Mickey Rourke

    Did Bill the Pimp have a ‘Ho’ to go along with?

  • Colleen

    1.I like Iccas’ love patch.
    2. I have to get Buffalo wings right now at the Costco because of all the chatter.
    3. Depression (and all its crummy manifestations like anorexia) is such a horrible jail for so many. Dooce and other people who find the courage to be candid about their private hell really help others and also help to crack the stigma by getting it out there.
    4. Religion can be bizarre. The Orthodox Jewish family that lives across the street from us had to knock on a bunch of doors last Friday to find someone to turn up their heat. They are not allowed to do that kind of thing on their Sabbath. They have an infant and a toddler.

  • Mari

    When I first moved to SLC as a kid, the Mormon girl who lived next door asked me to call another neighbor girl a “bitch” and a “slut” because it was against her religion to use such language. Sadly, I did it.

  • sheesh.. you Utah mormons. *rolling eyes*


  • Kelli

    My mormon grandmother (Dad’s side) is a caterer, and whenever she was catering for non-mormon clients (rarely!), they would often request sweet tea as a beverage, as we do live in North Carolina. So my grandmother would call my mom to make the tea, b/c in my non-mormon upbringing, we lived on sweet (iced) tea, and even if my grandmother had been up to making it, she couldn’t have known how much sugar to add, etc., b/c she couldn’t taste test. I could never understand the whole mormon-no-tea-or-coffee thing, or why that side of my family had an unhealthy obsession with Postum. Y’all do know about Postum, don’t you?

    On a more serious note, dooce, once again, you amaze me with your bravery. I battle depression every day, and lately it’s been easier, but never knowing when it’s going to rear its ugly head again is its own kind of personal hell.

  • Mari – OMG that’s hilarious. (Can I say OMG when discussing mormons wanting to call someone a slut? hmm…)

  • Mo

    I think there was an Iccas on that Nickelodian show “AAAAAAH! Real Monsters.” Remember that show?
    I do.

  • “Mir said at 07:56AM, 11.09.2004:
    Well, the bartender’s name is Isaac, so it’s really Roger’s fault for spelling it wrong.”

    Yeahhhhh.. so technically his messed up name is Icaas! 😀

    By the way, please tell me that you are currently in therapy for this Post-Mormonism crap. NO ONE should walk around with that much guilt in their head.

  • Hey Dooce, I don’t know if this strong belief of mine will comfort you but here it is: Leta will never have to go through the same hell you did because you and Jon are GOOD parents, you love her and she knows it. Self esteem, true self esteem, is the key. Rock on, Dooce mama.

  • Isn’t it ironic

    Less than six degrees of separation between the Halloween party naming convention and the post on eating and control…

    “Iccus of Taranto was a famous athlete living in the V century B.C. and participating in Olympic competitions, of which was a winner in the LXXXVII games. He was quoted by Plato for the accuracy in the preparation of his athletic body: before competitions he avoided sexual relationships and took a lot of care to diet, so that he is considered the founder of athletic dietology. His thought was influenced by pytagoreans, mainly by Alcmaeon of Crotone: for this he taught the importance of the harmony of body and mind, the *frugality in eating, the self control*. An appropriate but frugal diet for athletes was known as meal of Iccus and used before races.”

  • krissy pants

    hhhmmmmm….these Mormon traditions never cease to amaze and astound me. Having grown up Catholic in a very small town in South Dakota, I thought Lutheran was the only other denomination until I was about twelve.

    Also, we sang a communion song called “One Bread, One Body” which had the phrase “Gentile or Jew”, but I thought it was “Gentle or Jew”…I couldn’t figure out what a Jew was or why they weren’t Gentle.

    One more thing…a guy at work told me that Mormons aren’t allowed to vote. Is this true?

  • Mari

    Yes, Mormons can vote. In fact, sometimes the Mormon church even tells them what to vote for!

  • *Cue Baretta Theme music*….
    Zebra Guy looks like Rooster the Pimp. Now I can’t get the song outta my head!
    Don’t doooo the criiiiiime if you can’t do the tiiiiiiime…

  • kim

    you’re great, heather. and i’m not kissing anything here, just telling the truth. you’re just great!

  • Finally, my answer to the Coke/Mormon conundrum.

  • Sheryl

    So that’s why Mormons can do Coke!
    I always wondered about that…

    My cousin married a Mormon girl who decided to go non-Mormon and leave his lazy butt after 7 years of cooking, baking, cleaning up after him 24/7. She had a period of what I would call over-correction, like when you are trying to get out of s skid. During that over-correction she started doing Coke, but then the pendulum came back to middle.

    Now she’s a well-adjusted feminist.

  • Krissy pants – your comment inspires a movie quote…

    “sometimes the communal wine prove too tempting for some of them. That’s why we lutherans use grape koolaid for the blood of christ”

  • Paula

    The Pimp is kinda hot, but Iccas is scary. Must be the mustache.

Heather B. Armstrong

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

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