the smell of my desperation has become a stench

Apparently, when I was a baby I looked like Jon Armstrong

  • Kaycee

    2004/11/15 at 7:39 am

    I like that there’s a race to be first.

    I also like how I’m always a loser in that race, but I still show up. It’s like when you run a 10K with 40,000 other people (which is, incidentally, the approximate number of hits this site gets daily, according to something I read somewhere… a very reliable source).

  • Amanda B.

    2004/11/15 at 7:54 am

    Hey! Wait a minute! You don’t have a large Scottish melon in that picture at all!

    I looked exactly like Hoss from Bonanza for the first 14 months of life…

  • the husband

    2004/11/15 at 7:57 am

    Yes, Heather and I are related. She’s my sister.

  • Rachel

    2004/11/15 at 7:59 am

    I love your pink fluffy dress. You really need to find one for Leta. 🙂

  • mihow

    2004/11/15 at 8:06 am

    Brother and sister! Hot damn! Leta is homemade!

    < duelingbanjos.mp3 />

  • mihow

    2004/11/15 at 8:07 am


    (i’m kidding. of course.)

  • Kim

    2004/11/15 at 8:08 am

    Funny!! My hubby and I also kind of look alike in our baby photos. Well, we do and we don’t. And when we look at our kids we think she looks like he and he looks like she …. or wait, is it the other way around? I just don’t think you can tell that early. But then again, Leta does look like a little Jon. Letajon. Little Jon.

    I just love love love your site!!!

  • Fish

    2004/11/15 at 8:09 am


    Maybe I should go into shock journalism, like that guy on Batural Born Killers. I seem to have a nose for the truth (like Kirk Rocker).

    Come to think of it, tho’, it was only a matter of time before this revelation: Mormon… Southern…

  • Fish

    2004/11/15 at 8:10 am

    sorry again, its Natural, not Batural.

    jeez i gotta lay off the sudafed

  • Melanie S

    2004/11/15 at 8:18 am

    Now the Dooce is being stalked. That’s what you get for posting pictures of your poor stalking victims. You’re teaching the internet how to stalk. 😉

  • Melanie S

    2004/11/15 at 6:36 am

    What does yo baby daddy think about that? I thought she looked more like you all along. Pretty momma, pretty baby.

    The hair style is called a “Jimmy Roacher”. What were they thinking?

    I finally got the link fixed so you can hear the song “My Baby Daddy”.

    Copy and paste into browser…

    Enjoy, Dooceland!

  • RockStar Mommy

    2004/11/15 at 6:40 am

    Ooooooh! Look everyone!! I’m 43rd!!! This is SO exciting!!!

  • shellibells

    2004/11/15 at 6:47 am

    omgoodness little leta!!!!!!

  • Sheryl

    2004/11/15 at 7:00 am

    GirlA, too funny – I like humor that bends the rules or is absurd (the best kind). One of the reasons I love Dooce – she likes to experiment with rules in a wonderful way, in a life-affirming way. Her fans are always heart-warming, if not as brave. Which is probably the way it should be 🙂

    And I agree, though both girl babies (Dooce and Leta) are beautiful, I think they look pretty different in the major features categories.

  • Becca

    2004/11/15 at 7:02 am

    I don’t see it. But I do see some of Leta in that picture, maybe that is what people mean when they say you look like Jon.

  • The Mighty Jimbo

    2004/11/15 at 7:10 am

    i wonder how many people actually set their alarm in the morning just for that ellusive first comment.

  • Fish

    2004/11/15 at 7:24 am

    Once again, I have to apologize in advance for being the first person with the temerity to point out the most obvious question brought about by today’s photo, and the accompanying commentary:

    “Does this mean you and John are related?”

    I’m sorry, Dooce. You can now permanently block my IP address.

  • Fish

    2004/11/15 at 7:25 am

    sorry, I meant JON, not john.

  • Sheryl

    2004/11/15 at 7:27 am

    LOL, Fish, I thought that was what Dooce was implying too!

  • Lindsey

    2004/11/15 at 6:04 am

    Oh My God! It’s a miracle Leta does look like you! Or well um, you kinda look like Jon so it all evens out I guess 🙂

  • Dale Cruse

    2004/11/15 at 6:14 am

    Funny how being the first too post a comment here (whether one has anything to say or not) has suddenly risen to the status of being a first poster on Slashdot.

  • Sarcomical

    2004/11/15 at 6:23 am

    holy crap. you DO!

    see? leta looks like momma, too!

  • Mir

    2004/11/15 at 6:26 am

    Wow, cut out that face and paste it into a frog suit and you’d really have something there. 😉

  • KS

    2004/11/15 at 6:26 am

    I had to tell you that those motion-sensor toilets have a little rubbery button on top of the round sensor area that you can PUSH with your foot or finger to flush! No frantic waving to get your shit to go down. 🙂

  • Bruce

    2004/11/15 at 6:27 am

    when I was a baby I looked like Lou Costello. HEY ABBOTT!!

  • anna

    2004/11/15 at 6:31 am

    hey beachgal– thanks for the link

    hey dooce– *40,000* hits a day? holy shamoly! Is it true? No wonder people get all squeally when they post first. That’s some impressive traffic.

  • anna

    2004/11/15 at 6:33 am

    Not that I doubt The Power of The Dooce, or anything. I just sometimes doubt The Accuracy of the Online Media.

  • beachgal

    2004/11/15 at 6:35 am

    I wasn’t sure if someone else had posted it or not, I didn’t read the comments from over the weekend.

  • Colleen from NJ

    2004/11/15 at 6:35 am

    Yes, Jon in white ruffley panties and dress. I had that roach hair- do, too.
    We East Coasters have a bit of an advantage to be the first post. I admit I felt a smug sense of satisfaction to be a first-poster once. Oh, the life of stay-at-homes…

  • Different Patrick

    2004/11/15 at 5:44 am

    Top twenty-five!!!! w00t!

  • Shlee

    2004/11/15 at 5:51 am

    Too cute.

    GirlA, you kinda weirded me out there for a minute.

    Now the real question is, who did George look like as a baby? (blatant request for a baby George photo post)

  • Fran

    2004/11/15 at 5:52 am

    Didn’t you know that we are biologically attracted to people who look like us? So we can make more people who look like us. This is a prime example of that happening.

  • M.

    2004/11/15 at 5:54 am

    I actually got in an argument when I was 8 over whether to call them stockings or tights. Of course not tights, right, because those are pants. Stupid slut.

  • Jennifer

    2004/11/15 at 5:54 am

    Heather, Look at that you totally look like leta, or her rather looking like you. My son looks like a combo of my hun and my father. So where am I . Lucky duck. Great post on the living life in the pj’s. Life is best in pj’s

  • christilee

    2004/11/15 at 5:55 am

    Yes, you looked like Jon. Leta is looking more and more pretty as the days go by. Such darn lucky people you are with your beautiful family. Much Love.

  • pkd

    2004/11/15 at 5:58 am

    That sticking-up, kewpie-doll hair style has a name, they used to call it a roach. Used as a verb, roaching the baby’s hair up.

  • Human Writes

    2004/11/15 at 6:04 am

    When will that Dooce Baby Doll be available on Cafe Press?

  • beachgal

    2004/11/15 at 6:04 am

    Great pics from the weekend and today. I love Mondays only because I can come see THREE pictures on Dooce! And guess what! Dooce is (more) famous:

  • melissa s

    2004/11/15 at 6:04 am

    I thought the photo was LETA from the thumbnail! What a surprise – you even had red hair!

    When I was about 8yrs old, I used to think that I didn’t resemble anyone in my family until I saw baby pictures of my grandma.

  • sab

    2004/11/15 at 5:31 am

    See she does look like you. 🙂

  • Tabbie

    2004/11/15 at 5:32 am

    I like the dress. I makes sense to make a dress with so much netting no baby can lie down.

  • GirlA

    2004/11/15 at 5:33 am

    On da day that yo’ ass wuz born
    The angels gots together
    And decided create a dream come true
    So they sprinkled moon dust in yo’ hair of gold
    And starlight in yo’ eyes of blue…
    n’ shiznit

    Gotta say, I don’t think your baby pic looks that much like Leta, except maybe the shape of the crown of the head… your blue eyes, the shape of your eye brows, the angle of your nose, the shape of your mouth – all different. But you were a *gorgeous baby*, and of course, we all know Leta is.

    And we love to see pics of you both –

    Why do birds suddenly appear
    Every time yo’ ass are near?
    Just like me, they long be
    Close yo’ ass

  • Julie

    2004/11/15 at 5:36 am

    umm that’s kinda borderline creepy…

  • Sarah In Alaska

    2004/11/15 at 5:37 am

    Wow, you two look so much alike. My boys are two and a half years apart and when my youngest was born, he was the spitting image of his brother. Everyone called them pete and repeat. To this day , everyone still asks if they are twins. But, to put a little twist on it, My oldest is the twin of his grandfather on his dad’s side and the youngest is the twin of his uncle on my side, but they still look like twins, plus my little sister (i am 31, she is 8), looks identical to my youngest. People ask me all the time if they are twins. Go figure. The miracle of life.

  • kEma

    2004/11/15 at 5:37 am

    Apparently when you was a baby you looked like a DOLL (okay, okay Jon Armstrong DOLL)! Now we know where all that cuteness comes from..

  • emji

    2004/11/15 at 5:40 am

    I grew up in Central Canada (nowhere near the American Midwest) and I was raised to call them NYLONS. My mother called them NYLONS or STOCKINGS or sometimes NYLON STOCKINGS.

  • Margaret

    2004/11/15 at 5:40 am

    You were cute and all, but where’s George??
    Can he have his own page??

    of George!!!!

  • Sarah

    2004/11/15 at 5:18 am

    Ok…now I can actually comment, now that I’ve been first. Funny, I never cared about that, but all of a sudden the picture changed and my adreneline just PUMPED and I now feel like I won the fucking Oscar for BEST ACTRESS or something!! WOW, what a rush!

    Heather, adorable baby picture!! Now we can all see how much Leta really looks like YOU. My baby and even my toddler pics look EXACTLY like my daughter’s pics at the corresponding ages. It is actually kind of freaky, but cool too.
    Oh yea, late to the game but…

  • MetroDad

    2004/11/15 at 5:18 am

    That’s not too bad. When I was a baby, I looked like Chuck! (but with more drool).

  • Sondra

    2004/11/15 at 5:19 am

    See, Leta looks more like you than you think! Cute dress!

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Heather B. Armstrong

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

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