An unfiltered fire hose of flaming condemnation

Eli and Chuck

  • Nell

    Laughing at the “just got laid” strut.

    I love Chuck! And Eli is such a cute boy.

  • Rabooka

    I think Chuck wants to challange Eli to a race. The winner gets a Carmel chocolate chip cookie…yum!

  • Where can I find that Christmas 2003 picture of Chuck that is on that person’s desktop or wherever?

  • Eli also looks like he was doing something he shouldn’t be doing. Heehee!

  • If by “doing” you really mean “doo-ing,” then, yes, that is exactly what happened.

    No, you won’t still love me, but I feel SOOOO much better.

  • Colleen from NJ

    I have a cat that couldn’t care less if you caught her puking up a hairball-encasted chipmunk on the brandy new wool rug. I admire Chuck for his conscience.

  • Colleen from NJ

    i meant “encased”… sorry, upon reading that, it’s just gross.

  • Eli’s one good looking kid!

  • Michelle

    SO cute!

    and congrats on the diarist award finalist thingy… now everyone go vote for dooce!

  • kp

    so forgive me if someone has already said this, but!
    for NEXT halloween
    dress chuck up like a swan
    and leta sort of princessy and then! they can be leta and the swan.
    …man i’m funny.
    and yes, i know it’s “leda”

  • kp

    and! he can have a nametage that says zeus and she can carry an egg named helen
    i am sure i’m the only one who finds this funny, but. i don’t care.

  • ha- my dog scout looked just like that when she came back from her three hour “walk about” after i was frantically searching for her. they ARE terrible liars.

  • Dooooce… did you actually catch Chuckiepoo with only one foot on the ground??

    I absolutely recognize that guilty look. The tails I could tell….

  • Melanie S

    At my son’s b-day party the other night, I saw my mother had a new camera. Could it be? The Nikon D70. I pulled up your site and showed her all of your amazing pictures. Then I went through your FAQs and showed her how to give them that “dream”, or “mashed potatos” look. She was thrilled. I can’t wait to get one.

    BTW – I hate you both for having better cameras than I do. Bastard mother fuckers! (I mean that in the nicest way!)

    Anyone else notice that Fish said Screaming Sphincter! Greatness.

  • If I read that someone wrote “bastard mother fucker” and claimed it was being said it the nicest of terms, I would have called said person (#67, Melaine S.) a god damn fucking liar. But since I read Catch-22 over the weekend, I found there is great humor in statements like “bastard mother fucker.” So my hat is off to you #67.

  • Josh

    I don’t know, I think Eli looks guilty as hell, and Chuck looks like he’s got a happy strut, like he just got laid.

  • Why must dogs give themselves away so easily?

  • Chuck looks hungry. I’m afraid he will turn into a maneater one day.

    Not really Chuck. I loooooovvveee you!!! Chuck! Leave those Armstrongs and come live with us! We will give you all the treats you can handle.

  • AndreaBT

    MY cats do look guilty, usually if they’ve been up on the kitchen counter eating something they’re not supposed to. I’ll hear a “thump” as they jump down, and as I run in to yell at them, their ears flatten and they slink/run away even before I can open my mouth. It’s obvious they are guitly; if they were just hopping down from the washer, they would not have that look.

  • By the way, the kid is cute too.

  • There needs to be Dooce anonymous meetings.

    Every time I have to stay two days away from my computer, I immediately rush though my pass word protected screens, typing the wrong passwords several times while breaking out in a cold sweat.

    My teeth grind the whole time I reading everything I missed, reminding me that I need those horrible crooked wisdom teeth pulled, but that is so not as important as not missing a word Heather has to say.

    My heart rate slows down about four hours later. Hello my name is Christi and I am a Dooceaholic…

  • I’m pretty sure an arranged marriage is in order for Leta and Eli.

    I hope she likes older men.

  • G.G.

    Why does Chuck look like his feet aren’t touching the ground?

  • Leta doesn’t like the BYU Cougars? Isn’t that grounds for dismisal from the state of Utah and a lifetime of eternal damnation via buffalo wing farts?

  • kari

    today is my first time posting… i had to – my dog (jinx) has the same look, but we call it “flat ears” and you know she aint up to NO good when she has “flat ears”
    😉 love your website!

  • Liz

    Lovvvvve the tractor…

  • Carla Beth

    What’s the “thumbs down” button on the remote control? I haven’t a clue. Volume?

  • eco2geek

    When asked what he wanted for Christmas, my precocious 4 year old nephew said he wanted a “vehicle he could drive on the road.”

    (He dreams big.)

    That tractor looks like the ticket. Where’d Beth get that?

  • Eli has the cutest cheeks. They are so rosey! Looks like he was playing in mama’s makeup! 😛

  • Beautiful little boy!

  • milliegrace

    Sometimes grad school has perks. Like this one.

    That’s right. FREE WINGS!

  • Paula

    It almost resembles an episode of Cops, Boy stealing away on his stolen tractor while accomplice (Chuck) runs from the scene! Bad boy Bad boy, whatcha gonna do???

  • victoria

    Oh, come on people, fess up: the dog is way cuter than the kid, any day.

  • Dez

    They’re both pretty darn cute, but my heart belongs to Chuck on this one. He’s SuperMutt! How can you not love that- even if he’s been slightly naughty.

  • Eli’s got that, “Wha, who me, no, not me. He did it” look as he gets ready to point at Chuck.

  • Eli and Chuck are in cahoots with each other. They are both leaving the scene of the crime (and look at those GUILTY faces) . . . so I think they BOTH did it.

  • Dooce: Is that because it was BYU football, or football in general?

    By the way, I’m not knockin’ your parenting at all–in fact when my son is born he’s going to have to learn to love his big brother (the widescreen projection Sony TV)–but you are gonna get S.L.A.M.M.E.D. by all the its-bad-parenting-to-let-your-kid-watch-too-much-TV types.

  • bethany

    That Leta is one smart cookie. Many red thumbs way, way down.

  • Sorry, I should have said:

    “Screaming Sphincter! Is that because it was BYU football, or football in general?”

  • My dog does this thing where he poops in the dining room and RUNS UPSTAIRS REALLY FAST when my mom comes down in the morning. That’s really all he does wrong, but it’s so funny when he does it.

  • Happy B-day dear Eli! I hope the guilty look of Chuck doesn’t say: Oops, I am so sorry for eating your cake, pal!

  • Chuck DOES look like he’s modeling “Poochie”! He’s the next Ashton “Poocher”!
    HAHAHA! I crack myself up!

  • i don’t know. chuck kinda looked like a remora or something there. following the kids around just waiting for the inevitable stray goldfishes.

  • Tracy

    Heh – the former Congressman is busted. Dogs are such bad liars. What gets me is when I come home and our Lab mix gives me the squinty guilty eyes, but I can’t figure out what the hell she’s done. Once she realizes she’s home free, she gets crazy happy, like “Ha! I TOTALLY pulled a caper and got away with it.”

    Maybe it’s the tractor, but Eli’s got such a fresh-scrubbed Midwest look about him – there should be a field of corn in the background.

  • Hmmm I can’t decide who’s cuter: Chuck or Eli, Chuck or Eli…

  • the niffer

    That is classic guilty dog posture. I’m dying to know what he did.

    Funny – our cats never show guilt. In fact, when they’ve done something wrong they tend to strut. Pompous bastards.

  • Oh look … blond white mormon boy!

  • ella’s ma

    It looks like they BOTH did something bad, TOGETHER, and Chuck has that look like, “Hey, man, you’re gonna have my back when they find out and start yelling, right?”

  • kris

    My dog has that same look! I swear he’d whistle innocently while he strolled by if he could.

  • Hmm, Chuck looks he is wanting to protect Eli. Guarding him from harm. Is Eli about to roll into the street? Guilty look? Naw.

Heather B. Armstrong

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

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