This here bringer of the pooper to the fun party

You’re supposed to start out in first gear, not third

Dear Beth,

Thank you for letting me borrow your car even though I hadn’t driven a stick shift in over two years and stalled FOUR times in the span of a half mile and then scared the living shit out of that old lady who was about to cross the street but because she had paid a full tithing her entire life God saw fit to have mercy on her soul and save her from my lurching clutches.


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