Best way to roast the broomstick. Must try. Five Stars.

You’re supposed to start out in first gear, not third

Dear Beth,

Thank you for letting me borrow your car even though I hadn’t driven a stick shift in over two years and stalled FOUR times in the span of a half mile and then scared the living shit out of that old lady who was about to cross the street but because she had paid a full tithing her entire life God saw fit to have mercy on her soul and save her from my lurching clutches.

Love,
Heather

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Heather B. Armstrong

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

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