An unfiltered fire hose of flaming condemnation

Perspective of the lonely abandoned toy

  • That is such a great shot!!!

  • There should be more primary colours within the home environment – they make everything more cheerful!

  • She looks like she’s doing that, “weird stuff people do when they think they are alone”.

    Like, “hmmm I wonder if I can get my foot behind my head?” or “if i turn the lights off in the bathroom and put this flashlight up to my ear, the beam should come out of my nose, right?”

  • Dayna

    My daughter does the scre-hee-hee-ming thing when I leave the room, too. It would be nice to be able to leave her sight once in awhile without the noise!

  • Those pants are fockin’ awsome.

  • dv

    were she still bald, she’d easily be mistaken for a mini-alfred hitchcock. she’s cute beyond words.

  • popsicle

    am i first?

    dooce is the bomb.

    — so is chuck.

    ~~~~~ and leta too.

    — jon, ur alright too.


    -popsicle in cali.

  • Are those the stripey Hanna pants with the frog on the butt? I love those pants!

  • Sheryl

    Dooce, sounds like we do similar things at parties. I wrote the Tough Girl’s Guide to Tequila & Puppy Love.

    [Ok, Fish get your mind out of the gutter]

    And we have similar musical tastes, considering my favorite band the past 2 years is Interpol and I went for like 6 weeks when I *loved* that Maps song and sang it so much and so loud that my boyfriend would answer the “They don’t love you like I love you” with a loud “I am filing a RESTRAINING ORDER”. Her voice reminds me of Chrissie Hynde a bit.

    Did Jon dress up as “Brian Emo” ?Doing the Brian Eno thing but with a Guy Picciotto flair, since his coloring (and hairline) is waaaay more like Piccioto’s than Eno’s?

    [For those who are saying WTF?: Picciotto, lead man for Rites of Spring & Fugazi, early emo bands]

  • Sheryl

    Amanda B: Leta TOTALLY looks like she thinks she is experimenting in private!

    “I don’t see Mama! Quick, stuff this contriband in my cheeks so I can sneak it into the crib compound when I nap!”

    “Gotta remember to screeee heeee heeeaaam so she doesn’t get suspicious!”

  • I love those sassy toys. I got one for my baby shower.

  • lurching clutches?

    I knew you were funny darlin’ but I didn’t know you were PUNNY.


    Uh, sorry. Just the Jewish mama in me coming out.

    But really… >:(

  • Mmmmm, Toys.

  • That face is priceless!

  • GirlA.

    Dooce you must be the mallcore-est, diddo-est, deck-est, post-mormonist Shit Ass Ho Muthafucka.

    Guyana Punchline – Irritainment – 06 – Are You Brian Emo

    What is the relationship between Eno and emo?


  • Damn it. I am so old. I have no idea who these bands are.

    I’m from the olden days when all us kids were into Siouxsie And The Banshees and the Police and Fishbone (no relation whatsoever to Phish. I phucking hate Phish).

    Then we all went through our dark Cure and NIN phase and smoked the drugs.

    Then we got over ourselves and relished the return of the fucking rock star via Soundarden and Alice in Chains.

    Then several of those dudes died and we decided to just listen to James Taylor.

  • Are there pictures of you dressed as Karen O? If there are, let’s see em, please!

  • P.S. What up Sheryl!

  • Sheryl

    Amanda B, you crack me up! James Taylor (tho I kinda like some of his songs).

    You are not so old. I am sure I am at least slightly older than you are. My taste in music is all over the place – and like you, I cannot stand Phish. Same with Grateful Dead. Vom.It.

    [Fugazi is actually an old band. But you know how they call bands like Good Charlotte “punk”. Members of Fugazi and some other bands influenced a current music style called emo.]

  • Amy

    My daughter has the same rattle! And the same attention span 🙂

  • Ooooh, pics of Leta make me want a girl soooo bad. Just so I can buy pants like those. My husband would shoot me if I tried to put our son in them. 🙂

  • GMM

    Could she fit any more into her little mouth?! I love her pants!
    I got engaged this weekend!!! 🙂

  • Karen Rani

    Amanda B. You make me laugh – I totally get your post…..been there….during my SKA phase where I loved “The Specials” too….I wore large Doc Martens and thought kilts were cool…..oh my gawd I just admitted that to the internet. While I’m on a roll…..I LOVED ANTHONY KEIDIS and I STILL LOVE MORRISSEY!!!!! Anyone heard his newest stuff? He is still so much on my “Guys I would be forgiven for doing if I met them in real life.” Along with Grisam from CSI. And I’m only 30. 😛

    You can watch the Yeah Yeah Yeahs “Maps” video here:

    Glad you had a good time Friday night Heather and Jon…..I can’t wait till Thomas is off the boob and I can publicly embarrass myself again. Sweet.

    Love Karen

  • Karen Rani

    Oh and Leta looks really cute in this picture ALSO. You should know that me thinking Leta is cute is a given and I need not have to say it yet again. Love ya!

  • karinka

    Okay, so you having dressed up as Karen O (the chick from the Yeah Yeah Yeahs) made me fall even more in love with you than I am already because I SO have the biggest crush on her.

  • Caroline

    You should make two seperate colomns for posting, one after the picture was posted, and one after your post was posted so twenty more people can go “I’M FIRST, AM I FIRST?” THAT would be cool. And I might even get to be first.

  • Are Leta’s pants from Hanna Andersson? Not that my daughter’s mama has the money to buy ’em for her – she just drools over the catalog.
    Also, random thing… I watched parts of Bonnie and Clyde today and you (dooce) totally look like Faye Dunaway in some shots. You should get a berret like hers in the movie, very cute and so… OF FRANCE!!! Anyway. Maybe you hate berrets. Nevermind then. I was just saying.

  • That girl’s got some long fingers.

  • I grew up Mormon, too, and am now not… and I don’t know what to do at parties where we don’t play games.

    Solution: Drinking Games.

  • MrsDoF

    Dooce, I am so glad you are funny when you have been drinking. Then again, you are funny when not drinking, so what the hey.
    Me, I am a mean drunk, like my dad was, so I don’t drink anymore.
    Any team that has me with that Identify the Song game usually doesn’t win. Although I do alright with the BeeGees.
    And going to see James Taylor in concert for our wedding anniversary was Great!! (At $45 a ticket, damn well better be)
    On another note, #75 KarenRani, how’s your hubby doing this weekend?

  • hokey dokey

    Put yo’ left foot in,
    Your left foot out,
    Your left foot in,
    And shake that shiznit izzall ’bout.
    Yo’ ass do da hokey pokey
    And yo’ turn yo’ ass around –
    Do a body shotta tequila and holla out…
    thas whuzzall bout.

  • I’m so checking my hairline. And oddly enough, I am a hairdresser and check the hairline of an original MTV veejay quite frequently. Surprisingly, it’s all good. Some of them are aging quite well…

  • Sounds like the party you guys went to was a lot of fun. I haven’t been out to a good one in a dog’s age. Not quite Chuck’s age, but definitely longer than that terrier puppy’s age.

    Also, thank you for your frankness in writing about depression. I keep starting, then stopping myself, for whatever reason. It released something in me to find out that other people have weighed their possible options–what method they might use to kill themselves I’m glad for you that you got help, and I wish that everyone who is in a similar situation or has been could and would get help, too.

  • 11:13 pm CST and only 85 comments? What, is it like you only might go to hell if you read dooce Monday through Saturday, but if you read her on Sunday you are going to burn for sure? Well dammit, I’ll risk burning.

    Re: the screaming thing. My friends in Canada have a dog that does the same thing when they leave the room so it could be worse. You could have Leta & Chuck doing a duet for you…

  • Poor lonely toys.

  • You’re awesome Heather!

  • *Dinka–OMG, Veronika is ADORABLE! She looks a bit like Leta to me in the Oililly type clothes…HANNA ANDERSSON ROCKS! I got the funny jester style winter hat and glove set for my baby…that’s about the extent of what I can afford from there…hehehe

    Could Leta just get ANY cuter?!!?! No, I don’t think so….mmm, well, maybe if she were chewing on Chuck’s toy…hehehe…kiddin’

  • Oh my god is it true – could it be I am – the 90th comment and we just threw our Grandmother’s 90th birthday. Just joshing – (the birthday part is true) just had to do a “oh my god could i be first type post” for the hell of it.

    Leta – is just gorgeous love the chubby cheeks

Heather B. Armstrong

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

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