An unfiltered fire hose of flaming condemnation

Scrumptious Bearded… oh wait! YOU’RE NOT MY FATHER!

  • Sweet, first baby

    Hope you’re all following the Ukrainian election, sunday, sunday, SUNDAY!!

  • Gretchen

    OH my I remember those days!

  • Bob

    2nd wow!

  • basketball player in the making. . ?

  • I remember being terriified of him too!

    Happy holidays from Brighton, UK!

  • moooooooooooommmmmmmmmmmmmmyyyyyyy!!!!

    (;3 Happy Holidays!

  • That’s the most adorable thing I’ve ever seen in my life. Ever. Next year’s Christmas card?

  • Lisa

    That’s great. Makes me wonder how long it took her to reach for you.

    Happy Holidays.

  • Wow, that is a great Santa! I mean, he looks very authentic don’t you think?

    Very, very cute…thanks for not disappointing the masses here! I love how the red on the bottom of her shoe sort of pulls the whole image together. Compositionally, I mean.

  • Mr Biscuit

    At least Santa looks happy!

  • Jena

    TOO CUTE! You are a very lucky mommy, she is adorable.

    Merry Christmas!

  • Sasha


  • That’s an early age to suss out that he’s a fake. Respect, Leta.

  • Jess

    Andrew, that scary santa gallery is AWESOME. I’m wiping away the tears of laughter now. *dab dab*

  • Cheryl

    Oh so that’s how it went… thanks for the update Dooce.

  • Santa’s got a right sporty watch, there. I guess it makes sense that the Utah Santas are more outdoorsy than the New England Santas.

  • Oh, poor Leta. That looks like a scary experience.

  • Since when does SANTA CLAUS wear such a hi-tech black and silver spaceship of a watch?! Shouldn’t it be a pocket watch or something equally quaint?

  • Carolyn

    Ah, the frantic get-me-off-Santa photo! She is so cute. We don’t do the Santa thing, so I missed out on such photos.

  • melissa
  • I didnt know Santa wore those Nike sport watches

  • Helen


    Aw, bless her. That’s an adorable picture.

  • heather. the pictures are too sweet. more!

  • sally

    Here is a link to scared santa photos. They are great. Go visit the site.,0,3205438.photogallery?index=1

  • Awesome picture. Leta looks like she is about to cartwheel right off his leg and backhandspring into your arms.

  • That is so freaking sweet. And he’s a super Santa!

  • heathertoo

    And she is in pink with two socks, and two shoes! Best one yet!

  • Scrumptious BABY, afraid of Santa. Leta .. Leta you have no idea how after years you will beg to be on his lap, and to be able to touch his beard, without being desturbed by the fact that he is DAMN PHONEY!

  • Monica

    I love how her legs are sticking straight out like she doesn’t want to touch one more square inch of Santa then is required…

  • I’ve been Dooced. 🙁

  • Wow…how many times is the scared santa photo link going to be posted?? It was posted at least twice yesterday, I think. LOL!

    We are obviously a group that gets an inordinate amount of pleasure from seeing pictures of kids terrified.

  • Ahahaha! Great picture!! Poor little Leta…she musta been so confused.

  • Sara from WI

    I like how her fingers are curled back, like she’s pulling on your invisible reins.

  • Hmmm…Santa…Santa…S-A-N-T-A…S-A-T-A-N…Feets, don’t fail me now!

  • Santa doesn’t smell like Daddy either – that peppermint schnaaaaaaps breath and the blinding white beard are terrifying. I know, I just had my picture taken with Santa yesterday. It’s part of my therapy for Kringlephobia.

    When I was 5 I punch Santa in the sack because he was so much bigger than me and I figured only monsters dressed like that in real life. Yesterday I stomped on his toe because he told me I had a nice ass.

  • Mir

    That is hilarious. Leta will so enjoy you showing that photo to her boyfriends in high school.

  • Another Dooced one

    Sorry Cammie! I got dooced Dec 1, so I’m right there with ya. Relax for now and try to enjoy the holidays.

    Dooce, great picture to blackmail her with when she’s older!

    Merry Christmas to all…

  • Becky

    When Miss Leta reaches her teens, and tells you to get out of her space, you’ll have this perfect photo to remind yourself that there was a time when she wanted nothing on the planet more than to have you IN her space. Look at those precious, tiny fingers, pulling you closer to her with sheer will. Another moment exquisitely captured!

    (BTW — this Santa matches my own mental image of exactly what Santa must look like. Thanks for letting me believe all over again! :>D )

  • Mo

    not my daddy…AND NOT GEORGE EITHER!!! WTF, Mom? W.T.F?


  • So freaking cute!

  • Liv

    Very cute!

  • Lovely! You’ll never have to worry about her running off with a jolly old elf…

  • Liz

    That is not a happy camper.

  • Ali

    Aw. I think it’s a rite of passage for every baby to have the “GET THE HELL AWAY FROM ME SANTA” picture. I know I had one, except I bit Santa.

  • LOVE this picture. And that’s one of the best mall Santas I’ve ever seen.

    When my oldest daughter was almost 2, and her sister (now 6) was a baby, the mall Santa was a _tiny_ little Spanish man, who didn’t seem to speak or understand English and looked about as much like Santa as *I* do. We’ve always affectionately referred to him as Pépé Santa.

  • catdog

    happpy christmas from edinburgh

  • Santa’s watch is almost as big as yours. He looks like he is taking joy in the fact that Leta is trying to escape his grasp, and can’t.

    AAAW Babies First Christmas!!!! Joy!! It usually involves the eating of wrapping paper, playing with boxes, and caring less what toys are in said boxes. Boxes. heh.

  • Moooooooom!!!! Do you feel the love? Happy Holidays!

  • Linda

    Very cute!

Heather B. Armstrong

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

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