An unfiltered fire hose of flaming condemnation
  • Sue From Ohio

    WOOHOO!!! FIRST?!?!?!!?

  • Red

    The calm before the storm?

  • You look great for 9 months, heavily laden with child! Can’t believe Leta is almost a year!

  • The calm before the beautiful storm.

  • That cutie baby used to be IN YOUR BELLY. Weird.

  • e

    or, as we sang in our house….it’s the end of the world as we know it….

  • Teri

    Exploded is a good word.

  • girl

    And that’s all the bigger you got?! 🙂 You looked great.

  • That is the sweetest picture EVER! You both look a little nervous and I can tell that Congressman really gives a rat’s ass….

    I wish I could wear my hair that short but I look like a man, baby…

  • I can’t believe Leta is almost a year old!

  • Stephanie

    Nice one.

  • More evidence that you are quite the expert of the one-armed photo shoot.

    That is a
    skill I Must perfect.

  • You look beautiful!

  • Boobs!

  • bb

    You look so tired and ready for her to come out!

  • Too cool! Poor Chuck , “Ah, this is so nice and peaceful. I hope life stays exactly like this forever.”

    You look great, too. There’s no way I would have photographed myself one week before my kid was born. Although I did have to get my driver’s license picture taken, so that was a nice long-term reminder of how awful I looked. It was baaad. I didn’t want to seem so shallow and worried about appearances that I’d show back up and demand a re-shoot after the baby was born, so instead I convinced my husband that we needed to move back to Texas, you know, to be closer to family – but my real secret motivation was having a good excuse to get a new drivers license picture. It was THAT BAD.

  • Chuck: Her lap is just getting smaller and smaller…. I wonder what’s up? Eh, it’s probably nothing big….

    I could sure go for some pizza.

  • #6 warms my heart. I whole heartedly agree. 20’s slut is not replacable.

  • ah, it’s like you’re looking up at leta as if to say ‘please be gentle with us?’

  • I could swear I saw that same look on Mia Farrow’s face in “Rosemary’s Baby”


  • difficult to remember what the pre-explosion days were like now, ain’t it?

  • Karen


  • You’re like one of those maternity models – tiny and beautiful. Your face didn’t even get fat! Lucky girl. Lucky guy! And what a beautiful baby Leta is, thanks for sharing with the world!

  • Kassi

    You only had three months of sleepless nights? My Abi kept me up for a YEAR…do you get me? A Y.E.A.R.

  • Southern Fried Girl

    Exactly one week before your lives changed for the significantly better. 🙂

  • kim

    amen, lauri. but she’s just pretty. and so is jon. and chuck. and leta turned out pretty, too. must be the 25% avon world sales leader genes. or something…

  • e

    I can’t believe Leta is almost a year old already!

  • I really like the fabric on the couch

  • shy

    that is one sex-ay photo of the two of you!

    chuck looks cool too! 🙂

  • Do you ever refer to your life now in terms of Pre-Leta and Post-Leta? Almost like, BC and AC, no?

  • I’m green with envy. I’m still 3 weeks away from one week before MY life explodes and I look twice as big but 1/2 as short.

  • magenta

    OMG!!! First???!!!

  • If you are saying that you are 9 months pregnant in that picture I am going to be very jealous b/c you don’t even look bloated!

  • ahhh, heartburn, constipation, back pain, hootie pressure…the beauty of pregnancy. you make it look easy. i know it ain’t so, though.

  • I just love hearing about all the pain that is soon to come with pregnancy.

  • I make it a habit never to comment on the breasts of married women, but that picture has definite star quality.

  • beachgal

    My first thought was, “Lordy she looks tired.” You look good tho for full term. I was a whale.

    Thanks again for sharing.

  • You know what’s also killing me about that photo? Her mouth is closed. GIVE ME A BREAK. If I close my mouth these days, I suffocate. Pregnancy: How To Become a Mouth Breather.

    Oh. Also, didn’t Jon stop drinking while she was pregnant? HAHAHA. That’s fucking HILARIOUS. (Mine has not, fuck no, he’s been drinking for two.)

  • MAn you are ready to pop that sucker out

  • Carol

    It’s great to look back at pictures and remember when and marvel over how many things can happen in a year. Leta will be one soon. That, in itself, is a major accomplishment. Make sure you celebrate and enjoy this huge milestone. Congratulations!! You have an amazing family.

  • I’m noticing a common thread over the last few days…seems like you’ve been reminiscing a bit, no?

    “Scattered pictures,
    Of the smiles we left behind
    Smiles we gave to one another
    For the way we were.”

    (I really hate Barbra Streisand, but the sentiment seemed appropriate.)

  • Love the hair!

  • You looked fabulous for being 8.5 months! Bitch.

  • That is a great picture, Heather… it’s only been a year. It seems like more, doesn’t it? (In a good way, though, seriously.

    I often look at our wedding photos and wonder who those two crazy kidless kids are. 🙂

  • Is it weird that I think Chuck looks like the alien from… Alien in that picture, all popping out of Jon’s stomach?

    As an aside, thank you Sue for properly representing our state by being first today. Good job. You’ve made us all very proud. [Wipes Tear From Eye]

  • Dazed & Confuzed

    Reminds me of one of my co-workers. She was about 173 months pregnant and she was sitting on the couch. She hadn’t done a thing all day and the house was pretty much in shambles by the existing 2-year old. Her husband came in and asked, “What have you been doing all day?” I’m amazed she didn’t coldcock the guy with a fireplace poker. Instead, she calmly looked at him and said “Making a human. What have YOU been doing?” Classic.

  • koof

    chuck DOES look like he’s exploding from jon’s stomach. and there is a bone coming out of his ass, i believe.
    but anyway, such a nice picture, bones coming out of asses, and all.

  • Wow. This is you at 9 months? I remember seeing the “belly” pics and thinking how your ass was not growing in proportion to the tummy. Unfair. And now I see that you didn’t have a double chin either. Nooooo. You have an adorable pixie cut and you look beautiful. I don’t like you.

    Congrats on making it through a year and thankyou for sharing your ups and downs with us. Leta is wonderful.

  • If only you had know that you should have been napping and not taking pictures.

Heather B. Armstrong

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

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