Playful, elegant, and not above the judicious use of the word “shit."

I don’t remember what life was like before I could pause live television, or I guess I don’t WANT to remember

Emily called yesterday to check on the condition of Chuck’s upset tummy (caused by her, no less, their love is sickening, har har har) and to ask if we’d like to join her on a dog walk today. I gave her an idea as to when we’d be available and told her to call us when she woke up.

At 11:05 AM this morning Emily called us. I remember once being able to sleep in that late, but ever since last February I have been systematically programmed to wake up before 7AM EVERY SINGLE GODDAMN MORNING. I would totally be able to go back to sleep until maybe 3 or 4 PM, but waking up that late, NO LONGER AN OPTION. Let this be a warning to all of you who think babies are cute.

We planned for a time to meet at the park and then I asked her what her plans were for the rest of the day. She said, “Nothing, except I have a date tonight.” And I was shocked, not because Emily is a hottie and could have a date every single night of the week, but because the Golden Globes are going to be on tonight, and I know Emily doesn’t have a TiVo.

“Oh. My. God. Emily, you’ve got a dilemma,” I confirmed.

I know I used to be single and dating and that was all before the blessed dawning of the TiVo Age, and I don’t remember how I used to balance my priorities. Just like I don’t remember how I made it through the first three months of Leta’s sleepless life: you could read about what I wrote about it on my website, but hell if I’d be able to tell you about it from memory.

I guess the body has a built-in amnesia factor to deal with trauma. I guess I should warn Emily that she won’t remember tonight, or worse, if she doesn’t go ahead and get a TiVO she’ll never remember anything.

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