Playful, elegant, and not above the judicious use of the word “shit."

First Secty

  • I can think of plenty of reasons P-hawk: Ima Stud, Ima Lovejoy, Ima McPickle, Ima Cracker….

  • OOH OOH, are we talking about funny names? i have one that will win above all others. this gentleman placed an online order with a well-known company that i just happen to work for. and his name? his name is:

    pongtip pimpaporn

  • there’s a playing field in Wenham, Ma. called “Harry Ball Field” Someone actually named it that.

  • Charlotte

    Harry Weiner LMAO! Poor guy.

  • I had a teacher once named

    Iona Dick.

  • Waaaaah? I didn’t know that if you spaced after an asterick it turned into a little circle quotie thing. Oh, I’m so confused! Does it do that * here, as well? Or only at the beginning of a paragraph? But, it’s me who misses god, it’s not a quote from someone else.

  • * sigh * Really off topic, but I miss GOD. I mean, the Mormon General Authority. And that’s an unusual thing for an agnostic. Come back soon, God, okay?

  • Charlotte

    Um, I have pictures of the SIGN, that is, not of Dick himself.

  • Cathi

    Charlotte (#105)

    I’ve known men named Dick Healing and Harry Weiner. Harry works with a different Dick.

    It’s a shame that Dick has gone out of style as a nickname. It’s so much fun.

  • Dooce, you could take a picture of piping hot shit and people would say, “Oooo. Beautiful.”

    It amuses me.

  • Cool, ya know thanks to you I am buying a Nikon D70 this week.

  • *brando*
    That’s just too funny. Here’s another verse…

    I’m too secty for yo potty
    Too secty for yo potty
    No way I’m poo-poo dancin’

  • Leta is blooming like a beautiful flower!

    Go Leta!!!!!

  • After reading your post today, I think we can definitivel tell that troll who’s been bugging you that Leta DOES NOT HAVE AUTISM. Not even close…

    (I think I looked at the NYT picture 100 times on Sunday–it’s that cute.)

  • becaru

    Charlote, thank god I’d finished my coffee before reading your comment or I’d be snorting it for sure!

  • i’m…

    too secty for my church
    too secty for the gentiles
    so secty, it huuuurts

  • becaru

    There used to be a strip mall in the Detroit area called “Dykeland”, due to it’s location at 15 Mile and Van Dyke. No lie.

  • Matt in London

    Amanda B – I have no idea I’m afraid – it’s definitely a Mattism tho 🙂

  • Shan in Victoria

    The photo reminded me of the “Waffle Ho” across from our hotel in Atlanta a few years back – they were fixing it by the time we had checked in and got the cameras out though.

    The ‘waffle ho’ had no ‘use’

  • if i posted that pic i would get zero comments. how come that?

  • Annejelynn

    yeah, that guy – SHAMELESS RUINER OF CARS – at the time I was dating him, he STILL thought what he had done was a riot!

    I quit going out with him.

  • I googled
    Dooce leta pronounce*

    To get this:
    http://www.dooce.com/archives/daily/02_09_2004.html

  • Wow Annejelynn, about the car-wrecker, usually when you ‘grow up’ you have some shame…good thing you dumped the guy eh.

    There are always people who are ‘jokers’ who think really cruel stuff is a laugh riot.

    I knew a guy once who would slip a shitload of laxative powder in a colleagues food at lunch and then laugh his head off when the person when running down the hallway around 3 o clock.

    Nice.

  • Annejelynn- that’s just cruel now.

    My father-in-law told me a story once how he and his football friends (when he was in H.S) had a horrible teacher who apparently was also very rude to the jocks. She had this tiny tiny car (back in the 60’s). So the football players got together, PICKED up her car, up a flight of stairs, into the cafeteria. Awesome. Just awesome.

  • The “Target” here for the past two weeks has been “get”…..

    Ugh.

  • I just now realised that I have a friend who was dooced. She is currently suspended from BYU for her blog where she talked about being naked in her room and used swears often. She doesn’t keep the blog right now because her parents want her to graduate from BYU, dammit. It makes me sad because I loved reading her musings. I wish she’d hurry up and graduate already so she can write about being dooced at BYU.

  • When my family met my brother-in-law’s parents for the first time, we ate at a Black Angus restaurant where the sign was missing its “G.” Missing letters can be such fun.

  • Charlotte

    As seen in my smallish hometown just before Easter:

    Dick Longing Real Estate
    He is Risen! Hallelujah!

    Yes, Dick Longing is the man’s real name. I have pictures.

    I missed all the drama last night on the comments. I, too, have suffered lifelong depression, PPD, and have a family history of undiagnosed depression. I can’t possibly stress enough the importance of getting help. Bucking the stigma is possibly the most important step in getting help. Dooce has done much to buck the stigma. Keep writing about raising your beautiful daughter in the real world – not a bubble as some would seem to have it.

  • Annejelynn

    Lee-ta, like pita – right, everyone???

  • flickr

    did y’all see the pic of dooce on dj blurb’s photostream today? i thk its the first of its kind (the first one i’ve come across?)

  • Annejelynn

    The Wife said at 09:37AM, 02.01.2005:

    As a teenager we (my friends & I) would steal drivers side windshield wipers. As well as gas caps. We would also move realestate signs. We were bastards.

    HOW ABOUT THIS!?! I dated a guy who told me that he, in H.S. w/ his friends, would wrap cinder blocks in a grocery bag (paper or plastic, whichever was preferred at the time) and place it in the middle of a driving lane…then they’d sit off to the side, outta sight and watch people RUIN their cars!!! as the unsuspecting driver would just drive right at the seemingly harmless bag… ever since, I always drive AROUND seemingly harmless bags!

  • AJ,
    Once you start thinking outside the box, it is hard to get the ole brain to get back in the box.

  • Badie

    Great website, Dooce. I’m fairly new to visiting, but you’ve got me hooked. One question about your adorable daughter – is her name pronounced “Lay-ta” or “Lee-ta”?

  • Annejelynn

    Erin H. and CanadianAMy — in H.S. some friends and myself went around town painting red dots on all the deer crossing/warning signs…

    was absolutely AWESOME when later that week I was driving w/ my father (recall I was in trouble and had been sent off with him to run errands –neither of us were talking to one another) and he saw one of the ‘rudolph’ signs, and he totally busted out laughing… the mood in the car took a 180 and we spent the afternoon teasing one another, enjoying our errands. I held my tongue and never told him I did it.

  • After college, I lived in Fresno for a short time. We always used to joke that it wasn’t hell but you could see it from there. One night I was driving out of town and in the next town over the Shell station along the freeway had the S out on it’s sign. I’ve never laughed so hard.

  • Robyn

    Someone should knock out the “y”.

  • Annejelynn

    Theses thoughts… how does one formulate these kinds of ODD thoughts? oh my – LMAO!

    Bucky Four-Eyes said at 09:04AM, 02.01.2005:

    “mothered Beef Brisket”?

    Does that mean it was soaked in breast milk before it went in the oven?

  • Cathi

    I hate these artistic types of pictures. They make me feel stoopid because I don’t get them. What does it MEAN?

    Dooce – Baby hugs are awesome, and kisses aren’t so far behind (I’m talking about the open-mouthed, tongue and slobber all over the face kisses – mine insists on getting each cheek). Once you think you couldn’t melt any more.

  • As a teenager we (my friends & I) would steal drivers side windshield wipers. As well as gas caps. We would also move realestate signs. We were bastards.

  • CanadianAmy-

    That reminds me of when my friends and I were fifteen. We used to run around town during the wee hours doing sign re-arranging. My favorite was “Enjoy a trip to the moon, only $87947697694763!” by our local crappy diner.

    We also drew hula hoops on the pedestrians on the pedestrian crossing signs. I guess we could have been worse.

  • The head of security is also the guy in charge of changing the bulbs.

  • Heather said:
    “How about you just rip my heart out of my body and stretch it around my head and then back under my butt, IT WAS THAT SPECTACULAR.”

    Oh, I love it when you make me laugh like this Heather. You brizz-ighten my day!

  • I didn’t get a pic, Mari. I always miss the boat on stuff like that.
    I did call friends in my neighborhood and told them to go see it though. And my nine year old learnt himself a brand new word that day.

  • Matt- “can’t be arsed”. Is that a Britishism? I love it.

  • Aw, Dooce. Your “Goddess of Love” post made me cry a little. Of course, I’m all PMSing and whatnot. *sniff*

  • Mari

    Canadianarmy, that’s hilarious. I hope you got a picture of that before they fixed it.

  • Here’s what the local rascals did at our nearby dollar store:
    It WAS
    SUPREME DISCOUNT

    Then they took out a few letters:

    U R E C UNT

    It lasted less than a day, then you saw the little chinese owner guy out there fixing it.

  • Matt in London

    Would you trust a company that can’t be arsed to ensure that it’s own signs were working??

    Personally I like adding the letter ‘i’ to the middle of all the ‘to let’ signs on the houses around our way.

  • GirlA – did you ever see the “Live Poultry, Fresh Killed” sign on Cambridge Ave? That one always cracked us up!

  • “mothered Beef Brisket”?

    Does that mean it was soaked in breast milk before it went in the oven?