An unfiltered fire hose of flaming condemnation


  • Susie

    congratulations, dr. mr. annabelle.

    minkey, little minkey, how many The Monkeys are there? I’m so confused. I know what it’s like to be distracted by one’s own ass. Once I was touring a health club, and I was wearing a long red sweater, and I kept wondering what that huge red thing was that kept appearing behind me in the mirrors. It was my ass. I joined the club.

  • annabelle

    Hey Everyone- I worked today! I’ve just arrived to read posts regarding shiny red asses and such and am oddly intrigued.

    My husband passed his doctoral comprehensive exams today! Yeah!

  • colleen: Who told you I’ve got a little minkey?

  • Hey, you can’t blame minkey. My ass is red and shiny!

  • Ern

    I’m distracted by your ass too!

  • come to NJ, little minkey. no one will look here.

  • Cristin

    Amanda B. said at 01:24PM, 02.11.2005:


  • While running for the border, Minkey is distracted by his own ass, and is recaptured by Amanda.

  • Tracy

    My cats do that every time they hear someone on the stairs outside. They’re much more intent on getting scratchies from strangers than they are on treats. I guess I don’t give them enough treats.

  • Susie

    run, Minkey, run!!!! to France!!!!

  • Susie

    I thought Minkey was new. He must have just found his voice.

  • Amanda, your minkey is on the run with the help of his minkey friends. He’s making his way to Canada and Freedom!


  • go to hokkaido they got snow monkeys!

  • desiree

    see the determination in the eyes–they almost look as if lasers will shoot from them at any moment!! Look-Robo-chuck now with treat-a-vision!!!

  • Ern
  • Actually, Susie, Dooce has not purchased my new furry friend yet. She is having some difficulty finding a Snow Monkey in Utah. Mormons don’t like to touch my Monkey.

    Minkey needs a friend off of which to pick bugs. My current bug population is pretty low…

  • see hammocks!!!

  • Henryk_ Sat@0731AMSydney time

    whatabunchofloonies@thissite 🙂

  • not-that-Andrea

    Jessica Rabbit, my cats make the same noise watching the birds and squirrels. Thankfully they don’t try to run through the window…but the youngest male licks the window pane. Uck.

    PS – Heather I’m so sorry to hear you are dead.

  • faris

    So a while back i turned my sister onto Dooce. I was turned on by Alt Text many moons ago. N E Way, she was inspired to start her own blog and I must say that while I am certainly biased, her blogs are really very funny.

  • Henryk_ Sat@0727AMSydney time

    (Chock thinks)…….I hear dead people!

  • Ern

    JessicaRabbit–my cat does that too! It is hilarious. He will watch the birds outside for hours. We have a bird in the house too, but I don’t think that cat realizes it’s a bird because he never even looks at it. (He’s not too bright)

  • Susie

    I told you guys yesterday that the SPCA needed to be notified of Amanda B.’s new furry friend!

    Someone help him! Mouse, do you do cross-species rescues?

  • pooping

  • CHUCK! Over here boy, wooo, wooo, got a treat for you! C’mere Chuckie!

  • My cats do that same thing when they see or hear squirrels in our front yard, but then they let out this pathetic noise like eehheeehheeee and their jaw quivers, I have one cat who will slam himself into the glass door thinking he can make it through to the squirrel sitting on the front step staring at him like, Hey nice move dumbass.

  • im in the zone. the dooce zone.

    only 58 more minutes.

  • Sidney Ann

    I just looooooove Chuck.

  • If blogging is an illness, what is the cure?

  • maybe chuck’s hammock broke

  • Dang Cold…

    man that fire place is righteous!! chuck truely does look like he’s been stuffed in that pic. There’s something lifeless about his stare. If Dooce is, in fact, dead and talking to us, this must be a seance we’re all in.

  • Annejelynn

    Ruff Ruff!

  • Jesus, he looks possessed! Of course, I am too when I think of chocolate…hmm…

  • popsicle

    chuck looks like he just had 10 espresso shots injected into his bloodstream. at ease chuck. the treat is coming.

  • I’ve seen the fireplace before, but you’re right cursingmama, that wall bookshelf is incredible. If I didn’t have a bunch of bachelors living with me, I’d redecorate my place (and build a nice bookshelf like that).

  • And he doesn’t look old enough to have needed Botox in the first place…

  • Ern

    #174–does anyone else think its funny that under the pic of the “sling” it says “click to enlarge”? hehe

  • Is it wrong to be ignoring Chuck and admiring the fireplace and woodwork? Because it is soo awesome!

  • Robyn

    Out of curiousity, I went to google and put in “dooce”.

    446,000 hits.

  • My hammock DONE BROKE!


  • Happy Chuck Friday!!

  • has anyone noticed the google ads on the front page? they’re both about farts. FARTS!

  • has anyone seen the cribs with ty law?


    his hammock breaks!!

    dooce, if you have a cribs episode, make sure your hammock is secure if you have one!


  • Oh, yes, Gooooder. I laughed my tush off.

    I always look forward to Chuck Friday! Happy Chuck Friday! TGICF!

    Dooce, you must be really talented, writing after death and all.

  • must be george! commented when i was taking a break and i was too lazy to look through since there were so many yesterday and day before.


Heather B. Armstrong

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

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