An unfiltered fire hose of flaming condemnation
  • Awww, Heather and peanut gallery, you guys with your Daddy Love stories. . .

    You’re making my EYES moist as a snack cake.

  • Susie

    Unsolicited laundry advice: forget the hard baskets. Get those pop-up, tall, mesh kind. They are soft and springy and you drag them down the steps by the handles, no hip-balancing required.

  • Dooce, thanks for your post.

    And I have a similar experience with music, that I tend to listen to a few things over and over for a while until they are a sort of backdrop to my life for a certain period of time. That post, a while back, that you titled “You be well for me” after the PJ song hit so close to home because it was practically the themesong to my writing project.

    We can only hope to make the most of love, wherever we find it.

    And I mean that with no facetiousness whatsoever.

  • Moose… yeah, here… it’s not even a used one…

  • the pigtails are FAAABULOUS.

    and: i feel you on the music issue. i’ve listened to the shins – chutes too narrow pretty much non-stop for the past year, and only in the car, running errands. were it not for jamie’s continued efforts to find and expose us to new music, i’d default to our reserve of “all indie rock produced between 1990-2002” and never emerge.

  • Gah… the sweetness is going to make me cry. Loving the pigtails, but who wouldn’t?

    I did want to thank you for turning me on to Interpol. If you hadn’t mentioned Antics so many times, I never would have remembered their name long enough to get their cd, which I *love* with the white hot intensity of 1000 suns (lets not mention where I got that term from, shall we?) I’ve been listening solely to Antics in my car since January (I got the cd for christmas). I also got the Joshua Tree this christmas (ah, classic U2), but I haven’t even listened to it yet, because of the previously mentioned Interpol love. So, yeah. Thanks. I need to hug someone. Too… much… love!

  • Dooce, your comments about dads struck a major chord with this daddy’s girl. Happy V-Day to all y’all.

  • Daisy

    How in the heck did you get her hair in TWO pigtails?? I can barely get my child to sit still to put ONE on top of her head.

    Too cute!!

  • Lina

    There is a trick to holding the exploding laundry basket and Leta at the same time. Place Leta on top of the clothes and carry them both together! heh- works for us-

    Sweet message about your dad.

  • Susie

    Wow, Circus Kelli. You ask the tough questions, don’t you? The one you never knew, you can imagine him and make him any way you want him to be. The one you don’t get along with, as long as you’re both breathing, there’s still hope. Things do change. I want to hand you a candy heart with an encouraging message on it. Here . . .

  • Thanks, Marie.

    Anybody got a kleenex?

  • BG Sam…

    Big Hug for you. That was a good one.

  • I just read it too gooooder. Right now I feel like I need to be alone for a bit.

  • Wow… Heather… that is a lovely message to your father. Truly. It touched me… and made me wish I had a relationship at all with either of my Dads — biological or adoptive.

    Is it better to never have known your father, or not get along as you would like with the father you have?

  • Did anyone see the Google advert?

    Hugs and Kisses sale.
    New and used hugs and kisses, check out the sale now!

    Now you have to be a Dork on Vallys day 😉

  • Goooder, I am after a cucumber too now.

    That last paragraph was like an arrow to the heart. How appropriate for Valentines Day, to examine a girl’s first love–her dad– which is always forever and always complicated.

  • I know how you feel when talking about your dad and his feeling that he’s done something wrong.

    Growing up LDS and living less than a block from the church it always feels like your under the microscope.

    Especially if you come from a long line of mormons and have forefathers that were general authorities.

    When I came out to my folks the first thing they asked was what THEY did wrong. My mom cried for days.

    I learned that day that no matter what you do in life your parents will always love you.

    Now that’s something to hold on to. ;o)

  • Marie

    I was touched by U2’s performance last night, too. I’m a huge U2 fan/dork, so I already knew that the song was dedicated to his father. Seeing him perform it was even more moving than hearing the cd. They sang the song at Bono’s father’s funeral, too. Also, if you want to see the performance again, it’s on

  • hey…arcade fire! i missed them in atlanta for about $10!!!!! doh! i heard they do a really good live show.

  • i shouldnt have read that post while at work.

    now i have to go cut up a cucumber. maaaan.

  • Andrea in Canada

    Happy Valentines Day Armstrongs and everyone here.

    I love this photo. My 17mth old wears pigtails too. They are so cute when they hug their friends!

    Have a great day to all!

  • That is a cool picture – cute as all get out AND tells a story. Winning combo.

  • most as a snack cake…oh man that is ssssteamy!

  • Susie

    beautiful post. “He taught me to smile at strangers.” Wow. He surely did. That’s why all these strangers hang out here.

  • Happy Valentine’s Day, everybody! I hope you get all the hugs and kisses you need today.

  • Leta: “You disappointed me Izzy for the last time.”

  • Heather, I should maybe explain that I found it so moving because I’ve lost a parent too and I feel grateful that you understand enough to say these things now, and happy for your dad that he’s so lucky to have a daughter like you who says these things now.

  • Dooce! Thank you for that beautiful post about your dad, and about fathers. Well-written, poignant, beautiful.

    I truly don’t see how he could NOT be anything but proud of you and how you conduct yourself. Especially if you got your humor from him! 😉

  • She seriously gets cuter with every picture! Her cuteness is SUFFOCATING!

  • Damn it, Dooce, you made me cry. That’s one of the most moving posts I’ve read. I hope your dad does hear you when you write because you said it as loud and clear as a body could and it’s beautiful. Happy Valentine’s Day.

  • I have to say that I hate Valentine’s Day with a passion, and normally I wouldn’t post on here because so many people do it for me, but DAMN that is a cute photo. And I love her hair. Well done!

  • No, it’s ok Bucky SweetPea, I like for everyone to share in my SpoonyLove.

    Girl A.- my love for you has not changed. So, Friday at the laundry mat, right? Bring the A1.

    Metro- I love your quacking G-string the bestest.

  • Thanks, Lisa P. Yeah, that is my middle kid Monty, he’s a lot of fun when he’s being good. And sometimes even when he isn’t.

  • Lisa P.

    Awwww, sooper kyewte!

    And CanadianAmy, I clicked on your name and can I say that picture of the fish lips boy is awesome! Those EYES!

    Happy vd day everybody!

  • Martha Stewart: Numbers. A Good Thing.

    A is for Adorable
    B is for Babies
    C is for Cuddling
    D is for Dorklets

  • Susie

    This place is the adult version of the Big Comfy Couch. People just flop here and hang out. And there’s always something interesting under the cushions — babies, dogs, personal lubricant, steak sauce, monkeys — I like it here.

    moist as a snack cake, huh?

  • Amanda – to quote Lyle Lovett: I love everybody, especially you.

  • U.B.

    There aren’t many things cuter than darling kids hugging each other. Mine will grow out of it soon, but I love that my boy still hugs all his friends, teachers, martial arts instructor, people he’s just met, etc.

    To the rest of ya — Happy VD indeed!

  • You all must forgive my wife, Spoony. She’s just full of love on this special day.

    To quote Metro: Happy VD guys!

  • Whoops, ‘Manda, hope you don’t mind me lovin’ on your wife.

    It’s purely sexual, I assure you.

  • So THAT’S where Spoony and Manda disappeared to ver the weekend.

    I thought “what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas”.

    BFE, I am so glad I could help channel JB into your BJ. I’m all about sharing the love, and the perc. sprinkles.

  • LOVE the pigtails! Reminds me of Cindy-Lou-Who. 🙂

  • They just wanna, They just wanna-a-a,

    Girlz just wanna have fu-un.

    Leta and Izzy – I’m sorry but how much do these sound like rocker girl names?

  • RazDreams

    (one more lame thing: dooce’s new masthead reminds me of that joke, “what’s black and white and red/read all over?” a newspaper. or, in this case, dooce’s site. take *that*, naysayers!)

  • ahaha i just realized the very bottom of the page says DORK.


  • beachgal, how adorable is this picture….between the pigtails and the spreading the love, it’s a good thing I’ve already got a baby, or I’d want one!

    Love the new look of the site, and LOVE having numbered comments. I also wonder what is next to Heather’s face in the masthead….no guesses, here, either. Someone in the know, fill us in!

  • See Raz, now you have the perfect “out” if the wrong person hears you say “BFE” — just tell ’em you mean Bucky Four-Eyes. Then they’ll be so confused, they’ll drop it.

    mg2: Snack Cake City. Little Debbie wishes she were ME!

  • Ah. The ability to humiliate our children by forcing their hair in unnatural directions and binding them with small pieces of rubber.

    I can’t WAIT until Ava’s hair gets long enough. 🙂

  • RazDreams

    neat. BFE also equals Bum-F*** Egypt. i remember an ex-boyfriend’s prim-and-proper mom who asked me what i meant when i said, “BFE” all the time. ooops.

  • mg2

    That speaks volumes for what your husband must look/speak/smell like, BFE. Did he make you moist as a snack cake down there? All mildewy?

Heather B. Armstrong

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

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