Heater, Mother of Lance
397 Comments
  • Lauren Stranahan

    2005/02/14 at 4:27 pm

    4 grandpas? That’s just Dooce’s southern roots showing ..

    I agree with what Terri said about doing something and how it’s for your benefit ultimately. Thanks to the people who gave me positive feedback earlier on my site about my Dad at AlanBoxer.com – it’s really been extremely difficult for me to write so far, but I feel like it’s stuff that I had to get out of my system. You know, sorta like vomiting.

    I heart Heather. Sometimes you just have to ask yourself, WWDD? The answer is usually a doozy.

    Lauren

  • Cathi

    2005/02/14 at 4:12 pm

    Ashik, that is so gross, although I do have a recipe somewhere for a kitty litter cake (using melted tootsie rolls for poop), which could probably be modified. Nothing would say love to your sweetie better than that!

  • jp

    2005/02/14 at 2:40 pm

    Let them eat cake! Let us all eat cake, now. cake…vodka…cake…

  • seannarae

    2005/02/14 at 2:44 pm

    so lady armstrong,
    tell me how CNN/Money can run a story with the heading: “Have a blog, lose your job?” and *NOT* mention what is by all accounts the clinical term for such an event?

    i call BOOSHEET!

  • Dang Cold..

    2005/02/14 at 2:31 pm

    there’s now a text file in my “My Documents” folder on my PC called “Ernscake.txt”..thank you Ern!

  • Dang Cold..

    2005/02/14 at 2:32 pm

    ah fuck

  • Ern

    2005/02/14 at 1:59 pm

    *All the commenters scurry home to experiment with vodka in their cake mixes*

  • Dang Cold..

    2005/02/14 at 2:08 pm

    whats this about vodka? sorry I went out to get some munchables and a pizza..

  • Bug

    2005/02/14 at 1:46 pm

    i LOVE Leta with piggy tails!!!

  • Yamila

    2005/02/14 at 1:48 pm

    I wonder if Bono is reading this.
    If so Hi Bona we loves ya and your music and I wonder if Heather is reading this if so Hi Heather we loves ya and your words.

    by the way closet metro you are funny.
    bye

  • annie

    2005/02/14 at 1:49 pm

    oh my god. that’s really really really cute. even i had to admit that.

  • Ern

    2005/02/14 at 1:52 pm

    Marie, I’ve gotta have that cake recipe!

  • CanadianAmy

    2005/02/14 at 1:53 pm

    Must. Have. Vodka. Cake. Recipe.

  • moose

    2005/02/14 at 1:55 pm

    Me too, Marie. Vodka cake, what’s not to like?

    Dooce, you just worry when Leta starts spitting *into* her sippy cup… and when her back pocket develops a worn spot in the shape of her carrot.

  • Lavanotes

    2005/02/14 at 2:09 pm

    Happy valentine’s day dooce.
    She’s a doll.

  • Marie

    2005/02/14 at 2:11 pm

    The cake is “Bailey’s Irish Cream Cake”…..of course, it has Bailey’s in it. It also calls for something like 3/4 of a cup of vodka. I will have to look for the recipe, but I’m pretty sure if you Google the recipe name, it’ll come up. It is SOOOOOOOO good! If you have a pretty little bundt cake pan, it comes out real purdy too! (If y’all can’t find the recipe, I’ll supply it.)

  • Dang Cold..

    2005/02/14 at 2:12 pm

    3 words dee-lish-us

  • Graygirl

    2005/02/14 at 2:15 pm

    I WANT SOME OF THAT VODKA CAKE…..NOW! (Yes I am yelling)

  • Marie

    2005/02/14 at 2:16 pm

    Oh, hell yeah, Dang Cold….it’s really good. And I’m a shitty cook and still impress people when I make it!

  • Dang Cold..

    2005/02/14 at 2:17 pm

    I got paper plates..dont’ make a mess now..

  • Dang Cold..

    2005/02/14 at 2:18 pm

    moose? marie? pass me than knife?

  • Ern

    2005/02/14 at 2:20 pm

    TA DAAAAAH! (Thanks Marie)

    ervings: 1 cake
    Category: Dessert – Cake

    Ingredients:
    18 1/4 ounce pkg. yellow cake mix
    4 ounce instant chocolate pudding
    3/4 cup oil
    1/8 cup water
    1/4 cup vodka
    3/8 cup bailey’s Irish cream
    4 eggs

    Instructions:
    Combine cake mix, pudding mix, oil, water, vodka, liqueur and eggs in bowl. Beat until smooth. Pour into greased and floured 10 inch Bundt pan. Bake at 350F 40 to 50 minutes or until done. Remove from pan and cool completely. Mix a glaze of Bailey’s and powdered sugar to a thick consistency and drizzle over cake.

  • Ern

    2005/02/14 at 2:22 pm

    My favorite is that it is made with cake mix (that’s my kind of cooking!)

    Pass me a plate o’ that, Dang!

  • Dang Cold..

    2005/02/14 at 2:27 pm

    hang on Ern..Graygirl quit shoving there’s enough for everybody!!

  • Danika

    2005/02/14 at 2:30 pm

    Kristine said ‘holy shit I can see the numbers’ and I looked and went holy shit so can I!!!

    Tahiti treat.. haven’t had that in a while… now I want some.

    Fathers. My Daddy is awesome. Not so much when I was growing up but now… awesome. My mom however is a totally different story… no good anytime. Self-centered twit.

    Happy Valentines day doocelings!

  • Dang Cold..

    2005/02/14 at 2:30 pm

    there’s now a text file in my “My Documents” folder on my PC called “Ern’s Cake”..thank you Ern!

  • Ern

    2005/02/14 at 2:32 pm

    Don’t thank me, Dang. Thank the Sweet Baby Media website I just found.

    But it warms the cockles of my heart to know that my name is on your computer 🙂

  • Graygirl

    2005/02/14 at 2:33 pm

    My patience is about gone….want cake now!

  • jp

    2005/02/14 at 2:34 pm

    Thanks and happy valentines day to all who come here to find a connection to others. Sometimes it is easier to connect to strangers than it is to someone who gave you life. When I quit weeping from the words dooce has written I think I shall call my daddy.

  • Dang Cold..

    2005/02/14 at 2:37 pm

    no problem Ern..

    I gotta get ready for a date y’all. putting on my brylcreem and old spice right now..heh heh heh heh

    Chat soon!

  • jp

    2005/02/14 at 2:37 pm

    You had me at vodka

  • Bucky Four-Eyes

    2005/02/14 at 2:38 pm

    “You might be screaming, ‘no, no, no,’ but all they hear is ‘who wants cake?’ Let me tell you something, they all do, they all want cake.” Wilford Brimley, “Retardation: A Celebration”

  • jp

    2005/02/14 at 2:46 pm

    BFE- Is Wilford Brimley alive?

  • Fran

    2005/02/14 at 2:49 pm

    U2

    🙁

    You made me cry!

  • jp

    2005/02/14 at 2:49 pm

    helloooooo…..is there an echo? Am I alone here?

  • Dang Cold..

    2005/02/14 at 2:53 pm

    I’m shaving but what do you need JP?

  • Ern

    2005/02/14 at 2:55 pm

    I think everyone is heading home. I’m gonna have to bail myself. But…you check Dooce while shaving, DC? Ha! That’s dedication.

  • Terri

    2005/02/14 at 2:56 pm

    Heather, I don’t know if you’ll read this but in case you do…my father died last week. There was a time when he refused to speak to me, for absolutely no reason (other than he married a strange bitch from hell) for over 8 years. I talk about it on my blog. One day I ran into him in public. I said “hi Dad.” He turned as if I didn’t exist and walked past me. My friends said “are you sure that’s your Dad?” HUH?

    Anyway, I hope you don’t leave to chance your father hearing or reading the words you wrote. My Dad and I made our way in the past few years. Our relationship was never the same, but we managed to scrape one out of what we had left. My sister wasn’t so lucky. When my Dad died last week, at 67, I was at peace knowing he knew what I felt in my heart; the good, the bad and the very ugly. Please, don’t leave it to chance. Write a letter, post a sign, send a dove, scream it out, whatever you have to do to let him know how you feel, for in the end, it’s for your benefit not necessarily his.

  • confused

    2005/02/14 at 3:28 pm

    Wait…a little confused.
    Dooce has four grandpas on her side of the family?

  • cat

    2005/02/14 at 3:40 pm

    GREAT grandpas. GREAT. 🙂

  • Cathi

    2005/02/14 at 3:46 pm

    ooooh – Marie (#301) – I’ve made the Bailey’s and vodka cake, and it is quite yummy. I haven’t read all the comments. If anyone needs it, I have it on my computer here. I also have a recipe for some awesome Bailey’s fudge… it was a good St. Pat’s Day last year.

  • Cathi

    2005/02/14 at 3:54 pm

    … nothing like hanging out in the bleachers all by myself on Valentines Day. 🙁

  • CanadianAmy

    2005/02/14 at 3:58 pm

    Baileys Fudge!
    Recipe please, if you don’t mind.

    I have a recipe for homemade Baileys…

    Dooce.com: Where fun people meet and swap recipes involving spirits!

  • Ern

    2005/02/14 at 4:05 pm

    Dooce: Where booze and cake trump exercise and vegetables

  • Adaire

    2005/02/14 at 4:05 pm

    ITA with Terri. My dad died of cancer almost 3 years ago at age 47. We had a rocky relationship sometimes. I thought I had a lot of time to patch things up with him. I know he loved me, I hope he knows how much I love him. I miss him more than words can express.

  • Ashik

    2005/02/14 at 4:06 pm

    Well, I’m surprised that I’ve not yet seen a recipe for baby poop cake exotically spiced with slightly *used* A1 sauce.

  • Cathi

    2005/02/14 at 4:11 pm

    Bailey’s Irish Cream Fudge

    4½ cups sugar
    1 can (12 oz.) evaporated milk
    ½ lb. butter
    2 pkgs. milk chocolate chips
    1 pkg. semi-sweet chocolate chips
    2 jars (7 oz. each) marshmallow cream
    2 tsp. vanilla
    2/3 cup Bailey’s Irish Cream
    2 cups chopped nuts (optional)

    Line 9×13-inch pan with tin foil and butter or spray with Pam. (Using cookie sheet, fudge doesn’t come out of pan as easily.)

    In a large bowl, mix together chocolate chips, marshmallow cream, vanilla, Irish Cream. Set aside. Heat butter, sugar and milk to a boil, reduce heat and cook slowly for 11 minutes, stirring constantly. Pour milk mixture over the ingredients in bowl and stir slowly to blend. DO NOT USE A MIXER. Add nuts. Pour fudge into pan and chill. Cut when cold. (Fudge will stay soft, and not completely harden.)

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Heather B. Armstrong

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

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