Best way to roast the broomstick. Must try. Five Stars.

The dude with the glasses ripped it on the slopes

  • Q

    re #64:
    WTF???? Whoever did that review for either a) has never worked for BYU, or b) is an Honor Code Office Nazi.

  • shakes

    Johnny, you would appreciate my sister. She likes to rip them everywhere and anywhere. I think she can fart on command.

  • smacks

    Johnny…that made me laugh so hard!

  • The Solitude Village… doesn’t that sound like a magical land where the smurfs (or some other small, colored, extremely cute creatures) would live.

    And restaurants? They have restaurants? Oh man, I bet those restaurants are great.

  • I ripped one last night in the middle of a lasagna dinner that had my four-year-old son literally on the floor laughing. What can I say? It’s a gift.

  • smacks

    Or….she surely could have had her head down there and heard the explosion.

  • cb – When I taught we had an 8th grader whose mother told us in conference that his chest had been producing some kind of discharge – same reason. Must be mortifying for the kids.

  • shakes

    How do you spell relief? F-A-R-T!

  • I’ve been thinking about the ripped it topic very deeply, and I think Dooce must mean he was good. If he tooted on the slopes, it would have just been carried off on the wind, or stuck in his ski pants.

  • Dude, I wanna go. I’ve never been skiing or anything. Though, I’d probably just wind up in a chalet somewhere drinking hot chocolate!

  • so, these skiing photos kind of ook me out a little. my friend just went skiing (well, a few weeks ago) and he hit a tree and broke his neck. they say he’ll be okay (after 4 surgeries), but he had a severe injury to his head called DEGLOVING. i’d never heard that before, but *shudder* i bet that’s one thing you never want in life: to have your head degloved.

  • cb

    Organic milk is $5.something a gallon here. We only buy that ever since our teen son started getting painful swellings under his nipples that the pediatrician said could be the result of excess estrogen-like hormones in food and water. Talking with other moms, I found out that some of my kids’ girl friends had their first periods at 9! We went to organic dairy and filtered water, pay more, but no boy boobies here.

  • Southern Fried Girl

    Wow, talk about being early today. Here it is only 8:45 and I am like way down the line. Goodness. 🙂 Here’s to everyone having a better day than I did yesterday.

  • gaseous anal explosion

  • Wow. That dude is badass. I could never pull off that hat/shades combo.

    I had to drink goat’s milk as a child and I have to say, it’s awful. It’s like milk that’s been sitting on the counter for a day or so, and sombody decided the way to fix that problem was to heavily dilute it with water. ackackack.

    What happened to Paris this time?

  • smacks

    Farts. Does a body good. Got Fart?

  • I hope that he “ripped it” as a great skiier or boarder, not as a guy who shouldn’t have had the chili for lunch. Old guys that are good skiiers/boarders are cool. Old guys with bad gas are just funny.

  • dv

    So funny.
    A while ago the comments were:
    Then it turned out they were 8th or something
    People are more carefull these days…

    By the way, are black red and blue the only colors allowed when skying?

  • those glasses are awesome.

    you should make bearded armstrong wear cop glasses on the slopes, he’d blind people with the snow reflection on them!

  • Speaking of farts, my DH let one rip this morning. It was so load that I heard it even though I was downstairs, with two sets of doors closed between myself and the stairs.

  • Hey everyone! Dooce, when you say he ripped it on the slopes, you mean he was good, right? Not that he was farting? Just after reading comment #84, I wasn’t too sure anymore.

  • RazDreams

    there’s a website where you can submit short-story entries for a random photo. my submission for this photo would be that jacques (the glasses guy) is a spy following red-and-blue couple, trying to catch them in a secret “snow” (drug) deal that’s about to go down. red-and-blue couple end up stabbing jacques on the slopes with their ski pools, and the heavy storm buries his body until spring. bring it!

  • When you say “ripped it,” do you mean he was a good skier or that he unleashed a big fart?

  • smacks

    Old man gas. Delish.

  • I don’t know about Eugene Levy. I think he resembles the late Walter Mathau. I bet those Grumpy Old Men really knew how to rip it.

  • I was looking at Jon’s photos at Blurbomat.

    I like them, but Jon, keep your eyes on the road and your hands upon the wheel!

    Wasn’t that a Doors song?

  • Wow, top 100! AND I’m late today? What did everybody else say? I want to be part of the conversation!

  • Hey, no fair on the super-early! Not that I’m ever first, but at least today I can blame it on Dooce.

    So Eugene Levy-looking guy really showed off, huh? Who’da thunk it?

  • smacks

    He sure looks like he could rip it. As in Faaaaarrrrrt!

  • Laurie

    I have somehow developed a milk allergy in the past couple of months, yet I’m still envious of gallons of milk for 2.50.

  • Woah, it must have been one sleepless night for Dooce. The first post was at 3:17! When I read the title for the photo, I thought it meant that that old guy ripped a huge fart out on the slopes. I was trying to figure out how Dooce heard him let one rip. I guess I am not up with the Cali/Utah cool-speak.

    Bucky, I personally had a thing for Cap’n Crunch.

  • I dunno, Scott. I’m still waiting for everyone else to admit they had childhood fantasies of Count Chocula, Frankenberry, and Boo-Berry in a naked rasslin’ match.

    Come clean, people. You’ll feel so much better.

  • Of course, he ripped it on the slopes.
    Dontcha know? All the cool kids wear glasses.


  • Mmmmm…. Lucky Charms. I loved those little marshmallows.

    and no, for those of you who ‘know’ my chocolate addiction, I didn’t eat chocolate cereal.

    (I just drank hot chocolate everyday)

  • Cool pic.

    But I sincerely hope you were not up with a sick and/or cranky baby at 3:00 AM.

  • Oh, and if you WERE up with a sick/cranky baby at 3:00 AM, you totally should’ve called me, ’cause I was too.

  • If you are goth for eating Count Chocula, what exactly are you if you eat Frankenberry or Boo Berry?

  • heather,

    did you know that one of the ways you can tell if your kid/friend/neighbor/ favorite blogger is a GOTH? yep…if she eats count chocula cereal! seriously. the religious right has passed out pamphlets stating it so! also, people who complain of boredom, insist on spending time with friends while unaccompanied by an adult, and worst of all, watch cable television or any other corrupted media sources ARE GOTH!


    it’s ok. i’m “goth” too 😉

  • I love the international flavour we’re getting this morning thanks to the ‘early’ posting. Makes the world feel so small.

  • meREDith

    East Caosters that check DOOCE each morning have a chance to get in before 100 comments now too!!!
    Rain+fog-no snow= blah!!!

  • The dude with the glasses looks like Stephen Merchant’s (from “The Office”) dad who makes cameos as a janitor on the show. Maybe you had a very very minor celebrity run in!

  • Cheryl

    HHAHAHAH When I read “ripped it” I immediately thought of farting… and now I can’t stop laughing!

  • You’re out there skiing and having fun, meanwhile, GEORGE and all of us Texans are stuck here in 80 degrees of poo…until today. It will be 70, then tomorrow, 50!

    My head is going to explode!

  • boadicea

    hey dooce,

    love your site! If you ever get tired of being famous and a fabulous stay-at-home mom you could always go work for BYU. According to they are in the top 5 places to work. Ha!

  • Look at that snow! One of the rare times I went skiing, I was being my usual chatty self, and so I chirped to the man next to me on the lift, “Ski much?” He nodded. My friend was collapsing with laughter.
    He was National Ski Patrol. Durrrrrrrr.

  • beachgal

    I love looking at pictures of snow, especially when I don’t have to actually deal WITH the snow.

    Hope Leta didn’t keep you up all nite and that’s why this was so early.

  • nika

    that looks like so much fun, I’d even risk my neck, forgetting how much skiing/snowboarding scares me.

  • MyChelle

    So early today!

    My 37 year old significant other DRINKS a GALLON of milk every 3 or 4 days. Seriously…YUCK. Whole milk, too – I got a pretty please baby buy me the real stuff when I tried to slide down to 2%.

    And that dude with the glasses looks straight outta 1963. I have a pic of my dad wearing just that hat & those specs…

  • desiree

    so beautiful!

  • the dude with the glasses looks like an extra from Columbo.

Heather B. Armstrong

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

read more