An unfiltered fire hose of flaming condemnation

Already starting to feel the pain and it was only 9:45 in the morning

  • Jo

    Matt we’re all still here, grab a seat!

  • Aw, hi Matt!

  • Jo

    Like i said, I’m not happy about admitting that. And thankfully Uni will not get the way now till MONDAY WOO!! SO i can hibernate, wathc tv and write my dissertation for the next 4 days. 😀

  • bucky’s cuttin’ muffins.

  • Jo – now you’ve earned yourself a hot chocolate 😉 And the right not to go outside again if you don’t want to. Unless uni gets in the way!
    Still can’t believe you actually watched that film, *heehee!*

  • Matt in London

    Crap – I come in late from a meeting and miss all the people in the UK talking to each other.. 🙁

  • I think Leta got her lashes from Dooce! Look at them battin’ in the snow!

  • bucky: i’m going to admit defeat before i even start.

  • Janie

    I was soooooo happy that Jay won! I have been rooting for him all along, and his collection was truly superb.

    Happy, happy, happy.

  • Jo

    Katie we can’t possibly be the only 2 people in the world who thought it was crap. I only saw it because there was nothing else. And you’re right. That snowman is EVIL.

  • This is not a happy Dooce face. This is a “What the hell am I doing out here I hope I don’t die” face. I’m glad you got the hang of the snowboarding thing though. I think I would not have faired as well. I’d probably just ride the ski lift up and down all day. That’s fun.

    Metro- You heartless hussy. You have ruined Return of the Jedi for me, as I was saving it for my 35th birthday. I will never forgive you.

    Girl A.- oh how I love thee.


    I’m about to cut the Mother of All Cheese, and it ain’t gonna be pretty.

  • Jo, I thought I was the only person who thought that movie was the biggest piece of crap ever made. My boyfriend was actually watching it and he said “Sit down! This movie is great!” I was actually scared by Michael Keaton’s character – that snowman had a demonic look in his eye. I thought it was a horror flick at first. Like, Attack of the Killer Snowman.

  • i want to do a spoiler alert, but i’m not sure what.

  • Cristin

    bucky – too effing funny, thanks for that

  • Girl.A — we’ve got a new Mongolian Barbeque opening in Flint today, so I can begin work right away on my contributions to the Chinese Diarrhea Sculpture Gallery.

    Or should it be Gallerrhea?

  • Jo

    All this snow talk has reminded me of the cheesiest line from a movie (not that i am ok with admitting i watched this movie…). I think its called Jack Frost, and Michael Keaton dies and comes back to his son as a…snowman. This kid gets teased a lot but his friend says “Hey, Snowdad’s better than no dad!”. POssibly the worst quote EVER. Oops sorry, did I SPOIL that for everyone who hasnt seen Jack Frost?

  • I get the feel that Heather hadn’t reached her skiing epiphany yet when she took that picture.

    I am bitchy today. It is raining out there, the streets are flooded, and I was a half hour late to work. My computer at home is on the fritz, and I couldn’t bring my camera with me to work to upload my self portrait and self portrait butt shot that I took last night because it was raining so hard my camera would have floated away. What the hell is Thursday without self portraits and butt shots?!?

  • Elvira

    Considering the show was on last night 2/23 and your comment was posted on 2/24…its not exactly a spoiler alert.
    Dont read the webiste if you feel the need to make comments on why she should change it…its her website!

  • MissCrankyRants

    Spoiler Alert:
    I am going to take the garbage out today.

  • becaru —

    After 21 years here, I’m still not sure if I’m a Flintoid or a Flintstone.

    I like Flintstone best. Makes me feel all cavewoman and shit. Somebody come drag me away by the hair. . .

  • Aint it grand to go outside when it’s *really* freakin’ cold and your boogers freeze, get tossed about like something in a Susan Dey made-for-TV-movie and have to pretend to have fun? I love that.

  • Mir

    OH MY GOD I cannot believe you posted a picture of YOURSELF in the SNOW! Some of us didn’t yet KNOW that it was SNOWING and now you’ve gone and RUINED IT for the REST OF US you SELFISH COW!

    Um, yeah. *yawn*

  • Jo

    Snows just no fun if its interrupted with rain and you can’t throw it in people’s faces.

  • becaru

    BUCKY FOUR EYES! You’re from Flint??? That explains a lot!
    Nice self-portrait, woman!

  • hey Jo! it’s driving me mad! why can’t the clouds dump a load of snow and be done with it? although on the way to work i saw a bunch schoolkids walking in single file, each one carrying GIANT snowballs. them were the days, innit.

  • Ricardipus

    Ok, you look like you’re in pain. That’s p.a.i.n.

    But your list of things to do that you haven’t done yet but need to do because they’re on the list of things to do that need doing already or whatever it was made me LMAO, so thank you! Esp. the stuff about Leta’s churchgoing gear. Might I also suggest a “beer makes you f*rt” trucker hat?

    Cheers Dooce/Heather, thanks for the giggles.

  • Hell yes…go Jay!

    That’s an AWFUL lot of snow for 9:45 in the morning. Then again, in Augusta, GA, ANY amount of snow is a lot of snow. It’s February and it nearly hit 80 degrees yesterday. Ew.

  • minxlj

    OH – Project RUNWAY. Not Runaway, as someone previously said. Doh. Now I get it 😉
    We’re not interested in that kinda thing over here, we Brits have to concentrate on wrapping up warm! LOL j/k

  • la pixiatrix has the prettiest eye i ever done saw. ever.


  • Jo

    Bushra! Are we annoyed that the snow wont settle or what? P.s Minx, I made it to uni and handed my essay in- woo! And now i think my nose will be RED for the REST of the DAY.

  • itsme

    Wicked H: Yes, it is snowing here! I wish work was closed like ALL OF THE SCHOOLS!

    CK: For extra rest, I try hiding under my desk…see if it works 🙂

    Metro: Darth Vader is Lukes FATHER or was he just a baby’s daddy? He didn’t seem so involved in Lukes life…seeing as though he wanted to kill him and all.

  • DC, nope. Iams kitten food.

    Now I must work in a more concentrated fashion on that which pays me so I can afford to buy my kitten food.

  • *sniff sniff*

    let me guess, girl.a — curry for dinner last night??

  • p.s. I borrowed Chinese Diarrhea Scuplture from Bucky, or rather, her brother,the Tardist.

    Bucky, just now saw your message about the gallery. I went to your site to find the Chinese Diarrhea Sculpture post and holy mother of spoilers. You have posted much-o.

    I’ll have my people contact your people.

  • Dang Cold – Do you have any socks to spare? I’m plum out.

  • That is one scary ass picture!

  • RazDreams

    Melanie S.: the snot-chic in Blair Witch Project was also named “Heather.”


    Dang Cold has new socks on!!

    that is all..

  • From that angle, you totally look like Mallory.

  • spoiler alert.

    pbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbt. pffffffffft.

  • Cristin


    sorry all, gonna go crawl back into my tissue box and wait for the theraflu to be ready

  • Cristin

    ooooh, I should totally indicate to whom I am directing my comments of ‘asshat’ – definitely not you melanie S

  • Okay, I know this is not the Project Runway board, but have you been over there? Impossible! And I have to say:

    Did any of you watch Austin’s decoy show? They scared that poor boy out of his style! Either that or he thought: here’s my one chance to get hired at Ralph Lauren … I’m going for it! AND, the music was so ridiculous, and so him: a sweeping, romantic soundtrack.

  • Hello from Chicago! and Happy Self Portrait Day! Mad as Hell – it’s not a spoiler if it was actually on TV already. Right?

  • bethy-mae

    Mad, good lord man get a grip!

    Bucky and Girla, I can smell the Chinese diarrhea galeria from here.

  • Heather, Your cousin is stalking me. I’m scared of the curly headed one! Help!!

    BTW, your pic reminds me of the Blair Witch Project…When the girl is videoing herself and the snot drips on the camera.

    You’re welcome!


    Interpol will be playing *right here* in New Orleans tomorrow night! Wooohooo!!!

  • Cristin

    Mad as hell said at 06:36AM, 02.24.2005:
    To all: Most courteous bloggers would have put a SPOILER ALERT notice up for those who have not seen it. I guess Dooce doesn’t have all the “web smarts” you think she does, Kelli.


    Um, since when does ever worry about being courteous? And why should she care what you think? She should not care about what WE think either, as it is HER site and NOT OURS. We happen to like it AND her writing as is. SUCK IT!

  • hey minx! yeah someone at work returned from a really long weekend in York, apparently it was f-f-f-freezing!

Heather B. Armstrong

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

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