This here bringer of the pooper to the fun party

SPOILER ALERT: YOU CAN SUCK IT, plus Mormon Doctrine recited from memory

I have purposefully caused people pain by revealing the winner of “Project Runway.” Not that the winner was revealed on the official website of the show or by any other official news organization OR ON THE SHOW ITSELF. Even Beth was a bit ticked at my over-zealous jubilation:

“And thank EVERYONE that I did not check your web site before I watched the show or I may have had to come over and make you recite all of the Articles Of Faith.”

I accept thy admonition, Beth, and now everyone has to suffer as I type from memory the indoctrination of My Mormon Upbringing:

“We believe that the first principles and ordinances of the Gospel are FIRST faith in the Lord Jesus Christ, SECOND repentance, THIRD baptism by immersion for the remission of sins, FOURTH laying on of hands for the gift of the Holy Ghost.”

That’s right. LAYING ON OF HANDS. It doesn’t get much truer than that. As a former President of Early Morning Seminary and Earner of the Young Women’s Medallion and as Someone Who Repented of Her First Kiss, I bear witness that Jay won “Project Runway.” IN THE NAME OF JESUS CHRIST, AMEN.

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