An unfiltered fire hose of flaming condemnation

The Master and his little Grasshopper

  • You two make such a beautiful couple! I tried skiing once… my knees hurt, but that was the least of my problems. I just couldn’t get the balance thing right!

  • viv

    Leta has my daughter’s Zutano bird dress and pink dress/vest thingy! But Lily is just about to grow out of hers at 21 mos. I feel your pain about Leta growing and moving on. Just wait until she gets to be a toddler – ZOOOOOM!

  • Damn that’s a great shot! Almost makes me feel like going skiing…almost.

  • i am so sick with this cold that when i see people doing things that only healthy people would do, like skiing/snowboarding, i think HOW can they DO that when i feel so sick? the whole world feels what i feel when i feel it, don’t you know?

    yet you look so healthy Heather. I just don’t understand.

  • Honesty #104: That’s the way it works in my house. Hubby gets cranky and the kids get more irritable every time I get PMS… weird huh?

  • Regarding the thirteen month newsletter: The last five or six sentences in the last paragraph made me choke up. Twice.

    I think it’s your honesty that makes your writing so transparent. In the best way, I mean.

  • Great photo of you two!! Both smiling even!!

    And gosh, Dooce, you sure have a way with words. That monthly newsletter is WONDERFUL! Leta’s a lucky girl.

    So when are you going to have another? Baby that is?

  • Will there soon be a newsletter to Chuck’s dearly departed anal sacks?

  • Eek! I bet that the last thing Heather is thinking of is another baby already! Can you imagine two Letas so close in age!?! TWO FROGS!?! 🙂

  • i was up at damn near 3 this morning/last night and still no new dooce picture. i simply cannot imaging dooce does her edits an even more ungodly hour. which begs the question:

    you using a cron job to do your picture of the day? hmmm?

    do tell. scratch my geek itch, dooce.

  • “Oh my gosh! It’s the famous dooce! Can I get a picture?!?”

  • They are standing in front of lumpy twin peaks.

  • cute!

  • LesleyMW

    Ack!!! I made it all the way through the newsletter without tearing up until “…my God, slow down. Don’t go so fast. Stay.” Damn it! Do you do that on purpose Dooce? (My little guy is 2 and almost a half, I’m shouting that phrase in my head ALL THE TIME!)

  • What the hell is a cron job? Is that like a blow job?

  • ::laughs:: Oh my God, Heather and Jon are the new Brad and Jen! Baby questions and marriage opinions and all.

  • When my little guy (who will be 4 in May) was 2, and he turned to me and said “I am NOT a baby, I am a BIG BOY!” I wanted to scream the exact same thing – “SLOW DOWN! DON’T GO SO FAST!!!” Now he really is a big boy, and once in a while he will come snuggle into my lap and say “Big hug! I wanna be your baby”. Moments like that are worth all the heartache of seeing your little one grow up!!!

  • Katie-BBAW: A cron job costs less than a blow job, because, unlike the blow job, it can be automated.

    (or, iffen you were serious, it’s an event you set up to happen at a certain time on the server)

  • Why, thank you BFE. I actually didn’t know what a cron job was, but I had wondered if Dooce was purposely setting up her entry to go out at a certain hour. I just wonder why she chose 3:00 a.m.? For me, it takes away the pleasure of trying to be the first one to post. But, then again, it is instant gratification when I get into work and the entry is already there.

  • Must. Not. Comment on crossing cron jobs and blow jobs. MUST. NOT.

  • Ok..which one is the Master and which one is the little grasshopper?

  • What a great picture — could Jon BE smiling any bigger?

    And the first Leta pic in the newsletter is absolutely adorable. And her teeth! Wow.

  • She is perfect.

    And yes, time moves way too fast. My oldest baby (10) makes jokes that are actually funny now. Jokes or jabs that he delivers with a wry smile from his gorgeous face, and I think, oh man, you are going to rock someones world one day little man!


  • Crying again. Happy month 13, Leta!!!

  • Jill Ross

    Hi Heather,
    I was just wondering if you plan on having any more children?

  • when you show these pictures, it makes me miss utah so much. i love the greatest snow on earth!

  • Can I just say because of this website that I am now a scarred, yet wiser, man because I actually asked my wife why dogs needs to have their annal sacs cleaned, why do dogs have annal sacs in the first place, do our horses have such an organ, and will they have to be cleaned?

  • honest to god regualr access to this website is one of the few things i miss about america.

    that and veggie tacos from wahoos.

    argentine food blows for us hippy, veggie bastards.

    i find an internet cafe with veggie tacos i swear i may never leave.

  • First let me say that it is obvious Dooce, Inc. has amazing computer systems and technologies at her disposal, and I am certain the Pic o’ the Day is now automated by a computer, not Heather & Jon getting up at 3 a.m. to satisfy the Eastern Bloc Doocers’ need to BE NUMBER ONE in the comments.
    Then, let me say that the 13-month newsletter made me BARK with laughter (Leta, flattened out on the carpet: my god, I have days at work that look EXACTLY like that!) and then my eyes welled with tears at the love you have for your child and the honest way you write about it. We’re not having kids, and reading your narratives give me a glimpse of what it’s like. I know I’m not alone when I say this: Thank you for sharing your life so honestly & openly. And the pictures are awesome. For instance, I just got excited that tomorrow is Friday? because that means? CHUCK!

  • Hiya Jimbo! You are missed man!
    I have to say I am loving the penguin pics you have up. Oh yeah, and all of the other ones too.

    Hope you are having a blast even without the fish tacos!

  • B4E:

    it’s see food self portrait thursday…did you forget? 😉

  • 01234

    That kid is sooooo cute! And happy! For no reason! What a joy, eh?

    And now she’s entered her teens and is learning to hump, bump, and get into all sorts of things that she’s not s’pozed ta. You now know the point at which it all started. You may as well work with it now that you know. Tango and salsa lessons, cryptography and lock-picking, make sure she’s ready for Prince Coco Shimmy when he shows up.

  • Happy 13 Leta, what a doll.

  • Busy, busy at work for me this week means less time to spend with all you fabulous doocelings. I’m stealing a few moments away from well-deserved sleep to plug (which has the great class to feature yours truly today), to awww at the pictures of Leta and accompanying letter on her year and a twelfth and grin nearly as foolishly as the folks in that picture up there at the silliness here in comment-land. Keep up the good works! (And remember, only 20 more comments before the mandatory poop tangent!)

  • Jimbo, you’re a veggie? And I thought it wasn’t possible to love you any more than I already did…

  • Curious

    How come my computer shows that 1st comment was posted at like 3 in the nite? I am in central time zone. Can dooce set the settings so that comments open at 3 in the nite although she might have posted earlier or does it have to do with screwed time clocks of the computer? Just curious.

  • Greenthumb — damn, always a day late and a mouthful of food short.

    Maybe that’s my lunch in the bag?

  • I think, and I could be wrong here, that she posted the pic at 3 am her time.

  • Striz — bingo. The times shown here are mountain time zone.

    What I want to know is: where’s the mountin’ time zone? ‘Cause I wanna be *there*

  • *Amazing* letter to Leta, Heather…you make me want to write a newsletter to my own children when I have them someday…

  • You guys are just the cutest couple!

  • That’s a kickass picture. Now I want to see the second one where the person taking it fell down the hill and you guys are all freaking out like, “NOOOOOO!!!!”

  • This month’s newsletter is so wonderful. I loved the ending – so gorgeious and loving and letting go and it almost makes me understand what motherlove must feel like. I’ll say what everyone says: you’re *so* funny, you’re *such* a good writer.

    I love reading your blog, woman.

  • red

    Katie-BBAW —

    i am 5’11, too. YAY for tall girls!

    where do you buy your jeans/pants?

  • Red and Katie BBAW, I am also a 5’11” amazon. Old Navy has awesome tall sized jeans.

  • I love this photo of the two of you–it should be framed–and reading about your wonderful little Leta in your newsletter always makes me misty-eyed (and right now it seems to be making my ovaries hurt–time to talk my hubby into having kids….)
    Thank you for having such a wonderful blog–it makes my day just to read it and see your photos!

  • BFE, its in the mountians. MMKAY

    I am all eastern here baby. I wanna go to the beach.

  • Leah

    Man, when I saw that thumbnail I thought it was a Red Vine. Sigh. We don’t have those here in the East.

  • Very, very awesome photo of the dahling Armstrongs! very frame-worthy – you guys better blow that one up and frame it, good and solid shot. We can see the love (love for each other and snowboarding)!

  • Hey Heather, nice rug. Hope the dog isn’t greasing it.

Heather B. Armstrong

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

read more