An unfiltered fire hose of flaming condemnation

Finally an outfit to go with the hat

  • Dr. Johnny – I’m sure that’s only a small sample of your real readership. Some people are just shy like that.

  • To clarify: if you taste enough of it, you rowwwfff. But hey, suit yourself. If you want a hairless chest, that’s your business.

  • WooooHoooo! Top 80!

    Still on the love train. That is all.

  • I hate that scene in that one movie (the wall?) where the guy like shaves his nipples off. _AACK_

  • dammit.

  • Listen, don’t y’all know being in the top 100 ain’t shit? Nothing sexy starts happening until at least 185-ish.

  • AndreaBT

    I like my hairless chest very much, thank you Nilbo.

    And Strizz, that’s why I pluck, not shave.

    I’m off to have my coffee. Carry on.

  • Strizz, it’s already sex-ay in here. But not the shaving-off of the nipples. If I saw something like that, I’d be afraid said nipples would somehow wind up on my pizza.

    These are the things that keep me awake at night.

  • Well, Bucky, if you can’t tolerate alcohol, there’s always the little known “Canadian by injection” route. And we ain’t talking hypodermics.

  • AndreaBT

    AAAghhhhhhhhhhgaaaaaaaag….Bucky, thanks EVER so much for that mental picture.

    I really am leaving now, not sure I can stomach the coffee, but will try.

  • Bucky if you ever get a slice of pepperoni that you have to chew and chew…

  • Nilbo: OOOOOOOOOOOOh, Canada!

    AndreaBT: If I can put someone off her coffee, then my day is complete. 🙂

  • See, Strizz … and here I’ve always been told “No! You don’t CHEW on them, dammit. Be GENTLE!”

    Er… I mean “we” … not “I” … “we” have been told that ..

  • Why is it people who wear nipple clips always have saggy breats?

  • The four pound weight at the other end?

  • Cheryl

    I love how you make sure people say, “Awww… your little girl is so sweet”, by placing a GIRL dunce cap on her. It always annoys me when ppl call my baby boy a girl!

  • Strizz, do you have secret nipple clamp knowledge you’d like to share with the class?

    Nilbo: Chewing bad. Also, it’s very bad form to pull up the milking stool when a woman takes off her top.
    Just thought you’d like to know.

  • That heavy? sheesh!

  • breats haha

  • I’m outta here, gotta do SOMETHING with the kids for March Break, even though I totally want to stay at least until comment #185.

  • breasestes

  • I would totally wear that hat.

  • lmao CanAm, it will be here when you get back. I hope I hope you come with some breast clamp info.

  • man she is cute.

    cuteness overload!

    i am hungover at work and the only thing that will save me is dooce and cute pictures. OY. i wish it was chuck friday.

  • Bucky: So, now you’re going to tell me that a sexy, throaty “Moooo” is also frowned upon …?

  • She knows she’s cute!

  • Michelle Brady, the kitty-chasing brown thing you’re thinking of is called a Domo-kun. He’s an insanely popular Japanese pop culture icon. Think Spongebob.

    I love the hat chickie made! She rocks.

  • Tiffany: If you *do* get a hat like that to wear, you’d best break Mouse in slowly. I get the feeling he would find it skirry and disconcerting.

    Nilbo: Just because a woman is a cum-soaked barn slut doesn’t necessarily mean she wants you to sing “Old MacDonald” during foreplay, either.

  • Cindy

    Leta is stylin’!


  • Too adorable! Leta is breathtaking. Such a cutie!

  • I want a hat like that. I’m serious. She looks like a little elves, and I am fond of elves.

  • I meant elf. but that’s ok it’s 9:00 am and I am sleep typing.

  • What must a sewing-impaired person such as myself do to get their hands on such a cool hat?
    I’ve never slept with anyone famous or had my blogging discussed in major news outlets.

    Would it be possible for a mere mortal to…………perhaps buy one? Pretty please?

    And while I’m at it, I’d like to order a Leta to go. Thanks in advance.

  • Aw! Leta looks like she jumped straight outta the pages of a Dr. Seuss book. Or straight outta Compton. You make the call. Regardless, she’s adorable.

  • Susie, try velcro. They also have some kind of no sew bonding material in craft stores.

  • All she needs now is some “Who Hair”.


  • red

    um, yeah – how is it that every new picture of her is “my new favorite?!?”

  • Oh, see, you were thinking of that as “foreplay” …. to me, that’s the full meal deal …

    What is this “foreplay” I hear so much about …? it sounds … well … unnecessary, but intriguing …

  • (gasp) #100 is Tifney? And she shows her face here? She’s such a pregnint!

  • Leta is so adorable!! She is looking so grown up even. And what exactly is wrong with her hair. Its looks pretty cute to me. And I don’t thinking looking like you is a bad thing either, Dooce.

  • Leta looks absolutely scrumptious in the brownie with teeth hat. Look at the little smirk on her face, like she’s thinking “Ha, now all you bastards can stop calling me a boy”. I sort of think the hat looks kind of like the one that kid from Fat Albert wore. The lamp shade hat.

  • Yeah, you gotta watch out for those pregnints. I hear they are quite min and bishy.
    Nilbo, Nilbo, Nilbo. For us vagina-bearin’ types, foreplay is as important as…well, as hockey to you guys. Does that analogy help? ‘Cause the hockey analogy works on Jim, every time.

    And I just can’t say “five hole” enough times. Five hole. Five hole. Five hole.

  • Is she cute, or what? The hat is great.

  • OK, it’s like hockey … see, I finally get it now. Check. So I fake like I’m gonna put it up where mom hides the cookies, then slip it five-hole. Got it.

    Now, about those twenty minute periods and the number of fights … is that why we only spend five minutes in the box?

  • Bucky you ARE amazing. I only have 3 working holes, you have 5?!?

  • Umm .. Kassi .. you think she can HEAR that …?

  • LOVING the hat. I have a sewing machine but I think it hates me.

    Oh, and “breasticles”. Like Sophocles. Not like popsicles.

  • yea, she really is looking more and more like you…great eyes

  • What is up my sexy bitches?

  • She’s a doll! And whassamatter with looking like mama?

Heather B. Armstrong

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

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