An unfiltered fire hose of flaming condemnation
  • I never could resist an assful of quarters.

    Is that in any way related to Fistful of Dollars?

  • Bucky, damn it women, I told you I would pay up. I’ve got it here somewhere, in quarters, oh wait, here it is

    ( )@( )

    Yeah, thats right, kiss it beotch. I got your 2 dollars right here!

  • You have like… plants. And flowers. And Stuff. BLOOMING. I’m SO jelous. It’s still dead, dead DEAD here.

    I’m glad Leta is just a stubborn girl and nothing else is amiss 🙂 I wonder who she inherited it from. hmm…

  • Oh ho! Just as I thought, off somewhere on your knees…

  • On my knees, praying I’ll get my $2.

  • Bucky, where has your punk ass been?

  • Um, in *church* of course…


  • Almost had to put those nipples on a milk carton…which has a cerain irony…

  • so glad to hear that Ms. Leta is doing FINE! good good good.

  • Sherri I am so relieved! I was worried we were going to have to organize a search team for your nipples!

  • when I was like 5 yrs old I kicked the nurse in the stomach whilst she was trying to stick me with a needle..

  • acb

    Did you know that guys can do Kegels too? I’m taking a Human Sexuality class right now, and it seems that if everyone did their kegels, the world would be a happier place.

    BTW, men find their kegel muscles the same way women do–stop peeing midstream. Your wang should move up and down a little bit. Yep. I said wang. Isn’t it awesome that you can get from spring flowers to wang in just 410 comments?

  • Darn, my little pointy up-carrot nipples didn’t show up.

    ( o )( o )

  • I guess a lot of my x-rated emoticons won’t show up here because they use special characters. Oh well.

    I remember having a lengthy IM session with a friend once and I think we came up with about 3 or 4 emoticons for just about every possible body part. Now that’s some time well spent!

  • stop peeing mid stream is me asking for a bladder infection.

  • hi, kristine, I think that’s good advice.

    acb, I had to laugh. I don’t know if you’ve read the Bucky and Jessica show, but wang has done been here and left the building. I think Bucky referenced Ron Jeremy’s apparent kegel competence.

  • HOLY cow, what have I missed? Kegels and X-rated (or at least R) emoticons, some of which I wasn’t even sure what they meant (and not sure I want to know…)

    And it looks like the party is slowing down. Now that I’m here. Y’all knew I was comin’, didn’tcha?

  • And I can’t stop peeing midstream anymore, at least not for more than half a second. I also nearly pee my pants laughing (literally, truly) every time I visit I really *should* practice those kegels…

  • I just realized something. Dooce out-geeked a geek. She is now the ruler of her geekdom.


  • Oh man, it’s cold in here!

    ( ^ )( ^ )

  • So cold your nipples fell off! Oh no!

  • Susie, myself is pretty much everyone elses idea of a costume hahahaa.

    Yeah next time, umm.. well see about that whole next time thing haha.

    My kids did get dressed up after the ceremony and trick or treat the guests tho, it was a very informal wedding…

  • Oh thank goodness I am not the only one who used to think that Steely Dan was just A person.

    And one should remember, those similac bottles are for ORAL use only. Don’t try sticking it up their nose or butts.

    You made me laugh…bagel exercises…how do you do those? I bet doing those is a lot better than kegel.

    You’re hilarious.

  • Kids trick-or-treating, I like that. I like kids at weddings. People don’t do that much.

    Katiebbaw, you’re just showin’ off, now.

  • Susie, people were giving them quarters and stuff, when it was all done they each had like 4 dollars in their pumpkins and when you are 4 and 5, you can buy the whole world with 4 dollars you know…

  • Sarah M

    I love that photo. So pretty.
    I had an MRI myself Heather not all that long ago, and i can promise you, i hated every moment of it. I almost wished they could have sedated me. Only i despise needles so i refused.

    Brave Leta.

  • (o)(o)

    Now they just look surprised.

  • I think it’s the costume that bugs me more than the date. Like, get married as yo’SELF, OK? But just to be on the safe side, pick another holiday next time;)

  • Kegel exercises are fun. You can do them when you are bored at work and no one knows why you are smiling.

    Why is it that guys can’t hold their pee mid-stream? Is it because they haven’t evolved as much as we women have? I can start, stop, start, stop, start, start, stop.

  • Susie – that absolutely played into our plans.

    We kinda kept people guessing for a while if we were kidding or not, since only immediate family was at the wedding. It was fun!

  • Shit, who’s here to tag?


    Now YOU’re it.

  • Seriously, you two must have been very certain of each other, to do that. A lot of young brides would not have had the courage or the sense of humor to do that. I LIKE IT!

    But I don’t like when people get married on Halloween in costumes. Not that it’s any of my damn business, but that shit ain’t right.

  • 1) I don’t know how to play this tag.

    2) The location of the alleged nipples is just way too sad and realistic. I decline.

  • Susie, hahahaa I got married on halloween. Not in costume but, on Halloween, yep yep.

    Course Im divorced now hahahahahaha.

  • I loved how he was such a gentleman to her. A skanky-assed, nasty-looking, paunchy gentleman, but still…

  • BFE, I wondered about that. Are you sure you’re legally wed? Did you choose April Fool’s day so one of you could say, “Just kiddin’!” someday if it didn’t work out?

  • Did any of you ever see the documentary on Ron Jeremy, making of a porn legend or some such thing. Its hystercial, he is so cheap he wont buy luggage, he carries all his crap in shopping bags, and he is narcoleptic, they show him driving his mini van falling asleep at the wheel all the time.

    Wont buy a suitcase, but will suck his own dick.

    Ladies, what exactly does this say about men?

  • (.)(.)

    No tag backs.

  • Ron Jeremy and Tammy Faye Bakker on The Surreal Life. Good TV.

  • If Im in a hospice screw the sex books, send me the cute nurses for my spongebaths. I want some girl bending over me in white rubbing my old shriveled hiney to be the last thing I see.

    Damn skippy.


    Not it.

  • Susie, your right, that was a damn funny season, I loved when they went to the nudist camp, that cracked me up.

  • “rubbing my old shriveled hiney”

    For some reason, that phrase made me remember that my wedding anniversary is on Friday.


    Okay, that lightning bolt was for me.

    TAG (.)(.) – SOMEbody’s it.

  • Ha! Hospice! I love what people blurt out under pressure.

  • First: Ron Jeremy, ewwwwwwwwww! He’s got crazy zombie eyes, and it frightens me. I’ll give him points for havin’ a dick that’s better trained than a show dog, though.

    Second: Susie, if I’m ever in the hospice, I hope you’ll be kind enough to bring the unwanted sex books around. I know I want a technical drawing of a reverse cowgirl to be the last thing I see on this earth.

  • Ron Jeremy! EEEEUUUUWWWW.

  • Jess. Don’t ever be quiet. Especially not here.

  • My parents just had the old Joy of Sex book, with the hairy armpit licking hippies, now that scares you.

    And this is the end result. People, just say no to hairy armpits.

  • Hey! Smiling Monkeys! Now we are BACK on TRACK.

  • The Joy of Sex! Yeah those were some dingy looking people in there.

  • And Bucky, at our old folks home, we prefer “Father Dowling’s Mysteries” to “Murder She Wrote.”

Heather B. Armstrong

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

read more