An unfiltered fire hose of flaming condemnation
  • My husbands nickname was/is Tittimaster.

    Yes, I am proud.

  • Lawbrat (and all other nursers) ever go to sleep with no bra on? You know, cuz you just wanted peachesd and cream to be free once in a while?

    I would wake up full and hard with a TOTALLY wet shirt. Blech. And it does smell like milk.

  • susanna

    Mammaries…from the corners of my mind…milky, water-colored mammaries…of the way they were! can it be life was all so skim-milk then…

  • YES! wet, hard, throbbing, painful!

    hmm…if I wasent talking about engorged, free from bra tits, painful wouldnt fit

  • Heather, you are such a lovely human being. Seriously, I finally had a chance to catch up and read some of your back blogs and you are just great. (Burn that nursing bra, dude.)

  • Henryk_

    …a MAMMARY flashback…yummo

  • Henryk_

    OMG……what have I gotten myself into here? Oestrogen overload!!!! Eject eject eject…BOOOOMMMMMMMMM

  • Henryk_

    OMG……what have I gotten myself into here? *Oestrogen* overload!!!! Eject eject eject…BOOOOMMMMMMMMM

  • I have breaking news.

  • southern fried girl

    And that is, DJF?

  • Sandy

    83 comments in one day…..

  • I don’t have a kidney stone.

  • southern fried girl


    Yeeeeeeeeeeeehaw. Awesome. Congrats!!!

  • yay! mammaries and engorgement and peaches…oh my!

  • Kidney stones for men are like delivery a tiny jagged hard little person from a very small tube.



  • southern fried girl

    Pokey —

    Prove it. All men say that.

  • southern fried girl

    DJF – you are too funny

  • Dooce, did you hear that Bravo has picked up Project Runway for a second season?

  • deleted

    he’s not a serial rapist or anything…ugh. terrible nickname.

  • Good, that eliminates half the tree…whew!

  • shhh

    Katie, please shut up! No one person should post as often as you do. You might have a person or two who wants to talk to you, but most people wish you’d stop monopolizing the comments. Katie-won’t-you-please-be-quiet?

  • kbbaw: wait until they come in silver because you’re old and you can’t see well enough to tweeze them. THAT sucks.

  • Muffy

    It must be a good nite on tv. Here on the east coast, it’s prime time baby. Cuz the comments have sloooowwwweed. Heather, I so gotta send you a couple bucks for all the space this crap must take up. Well, how about a wedding gift we don’t like. You can yard sale or regift it.

  • Mary

    It’s Survivor night! ‘Nuf said.

  • i wish it were Wednesday and I could watch the next episode of Lost already!


  • caitlyn

    katie-i named no names in my earlier comment yet you immediately assumed that i was addressing you. that’s interesting.

  • tim

    koror wins immunity!!!

  • southern fried girl

    I was hoping the comments had taken a nicer tone in my time running errands but nope. Oh well. Let’s focus on tomorrow being FRIDAY.

    Oh, and Pokey, seriously – you are cracking me UP!!!!!

  • To have nursing size boobs again! I’m going to cry now over the lost cleavage. On the bright side…no more leaking or wet spots.

  • I heart mammaries.

  • 600+ comments in one day? What place is this? Anyways, I was forwarded a legal memo today from a colleague from work about the employer-employee blog relations. Dooce was cited. I came, I saw, and wow.

  • Deleted:
    He may be my long lost brother??

  • You know what I hate? I hate those big long hairs that grow about two inches off my tit, and I don’t know where the hell they came from. God bless the person who invented tweezers!!!!!!

  • Hmmmmm…searching for the family tree

  • deleted


    maybe…his college nickname was “boobchoppers”.

  • This kind of talk is what Dooce is all about. Tit hairs and A1 bottles.

  • Muffy

    Pokey, You wouldn’t happen to have, um, a website, would you? With pictures? And interactive video?

  • I like colors too, Muffy. Dooce knows how to satiate us. Well, not all of us. Some people on here are so hateful. I don’t know what vendetta this person on here has for me, but whoever it is needs to get a life. So, my life consists of blogging and going to all day? So what. It is not my personal blog space, but I enjoy writing on here and talking to people. Some people just don’t get that.

    Come on, Muffy. Let’s get back on the topic of NIPPLE HAIR!!!!

  • caitlyn

    you finally get it.

  • Mammaries. Like the corners of my mind……..

    maybe not


    Seriously. A HORSE.

  • deleted

    Wicked…my husband sings:

    Mammaries, light the corners of my temples…

  • Fo’ Strizzle my nizzles the ip address (if not static like a server) will be leased for a period of time. Usually 1 -3 days. (However, as long as you don’t shut down your computer it won’t release the old IP address regardless of lease term) This would suffice to check if someone was posting as two different people during a short period of time.

  • Katie

    You’re SO missing the point. You’ve turned this into your blog and your space to vent.

    I don’t know if this many people were saying nasty things about me, I’d get the hint!

    Mostly you’re missing the point you’re offending a lot of people with your choice of words. I vote to have YOU banned.

  • Muffy

    We need a new picture. And soon. Dooce, you’re like our mom around here. I can hear it…”I’m gonna beat you kids if you don’t shut up…Here. I made some rice krispy treats”, cuz, you know, she’d be cool like that. We start bitching at each other and you abate us with beautiful pictures.
    I like colors.

  • Let’s get some “hoddogs” Muffy. I’m constipated.

  • jayvee

    i think the point being clarified is that the words “tard” etc are all being used as insults whereas a person who is retarded is simply that way by nature, among the many other things about them. That is, if we went around and called asstrolls KBBAWs, it would probably hurt your feelings (and those of your loved ones) and you might ask that we find a more suitable/appropriate/kind way to refer to asstrolls than with your name. And we would call them asstrolls.

    Does that help?

  • Muffy

    Oh my good baby Jesus..I’m hooked….I got home, and got ONLINE! I usually reserve that for screwing off at work! That, and i only have three hours on my crappy aol plan. So I’m reading comments, checking old posts (I’m STILL not completely read up on all posts/pictures, etc.), and I realize, I’m back in aol chat room land. (Sheds tear getting nostalgic) But I do sorta feel bad, like I’m taking up poor Heather’s bandwidth, and movable type will be involved.
    I just want to leave with, I come here for Dooce, mainly. I’m sucked in. She’s such a great writer. And I knew the comments would take a downhill turn as soon as I heard Schiavo died. Wayyy too hot of an issue for a site like this. And that’s all I’m saying because I don’t want the hate to come round to me. I may cry.

  • If you read the comments section, you will realize I didn’t come up with the term “fucktard”. I just started using it because it is quite fitting for the rude commenters that have been on here.

Heather B. Armstrong

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

read more