Playful, elegant, and not above the judicious use of the word “shit."

How to Annoy Me

Defile the sacred and holy Oreo by eating it all at once, you insensitive, uncivilized cad. You must first remove one of the crunchy chocolate sides by slowly twisting the cookie in half. Then you lick the virgin white filling until it has been completely removed using your teeth only when necessary and even then very delicately so as not to scar the tender inner cookie. And then, THEN you may eat each chocolate half one at a time. Slowly. This is the only way to honor the Oreo.

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