the smell of my desperation has become a stench

You can’t pick your Mama

Just now I asked Leta to show me where her ears are and she pointed to her forehead. I said, no, your EARS, and she laughed and then grabbed both her ears as if she was seeing whether or not I was paying attention. We went through the eyes and then the nose, and then I asked to show me where my nose was. Usually she just points right back at her own nose because it’s always and forever about her, but this time she got within two centimeters of my face and tilted her head so that she could see up my nostrils. And she just sat there looking, peering up into the darkness when all of a sudden, yeah.

She stuck her fore finger up my right nostril and held it there for much longer than was appropriate. It was her way of saying, “I didn’t know how specific you wanted me to get.”

Heather B. Armstrong

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

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