An unfiltered fire hose of flaming condemnation

12 Months of Chuckles

Jon and I are thrilled to unveil our latest collaborative project, a 12 month 2006 calendar featuring our favorite photos of the Former Congressman Chuckles on sale now.

We wanted it to be ready for the new year and only realized a few days ago that it was November — when you’re with your spouse every minute of every day time loses all meaning. As does hygiene. For the past few nights we’ve done nothing but scour the thousands of photos we’ve taken together in the last four years to find the perfect combination of images to tell Chuck’s story. This means, yes, spaghetti noodles are prominently featured. Alas, for the sake of the innocent Mormon children, we’ve edited out all instances of his empty, sagging nutsac.

Are we exploiting the dog? Let me ask you this: isn’t it about time we exploited the dog? Starting next month we’re renting Chuck’s hind end for ad space by having logos shaved into his fur. He’ll literally be a walking billboard for Hot Dog On A Stick.

(To the woman who sent me the completely serious email telling me that I do not love my dog because I dress him up in soul-crushing, demeaning cow garb: that last paragraph is totally true.)

You can get your copy of Former Congressman 2006 here at Lulu (we went with Lulu because JPG Magazine looks so good). I will also have a link to the calendar in the right column of this website for the next month.

Former Congressman Chuckles 2006, for cats everywhere.

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Heather B. Armstrong

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

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