the smell of my desperation has become a stench

The Third Commandment

Yesterday afternoon while waiting for the nurse to come in and administer Leta’s Hepatitis A vaccination Leta entertained us by reading aloud several books she had pilfered from the waiting room. One was a book about a family of bears, and when she turned to the first page she took a deep breath, let out a sigh and said, “Oh, God! Bear. Bear, bear, bear… oh, God.”

Jon and I swapped glances and then we both had to cover our mouths to muffle the laughter. She continued reading the book exactly like this until she got to the last page and said, “Oh, God! The End.”

“That was our daughter,” Jon said, “taking the Lord’s name in vain.”

“Yes,” I said. “And I just experienced a bit of a dirty adrenaline rush, as if I had spray-painted graffiti on the side of a church.”

Heather B. Armstrong

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

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