the smell of my desperation has become a stench

We are a happy family

I am never disappointed by the brashness with which Jon farts when my cousin GEORGE! is around. He says he enjoys having an audience who will reward him with laughter, but I think it’s more about trying to impress my family, a group of people who think that a good time is blowing up the neighbor’s pick-up truck or setting someone’s hair on fire.

Tonight he let one that shook the couch in a violent imitation of a cellphone set to vibrate, and GEORGE! who was sitting in the other room trying to mind his own business erupted with such an enamored laugh that for a brief moment I think he wanted to marry my husband.

Heather B. Armstrong

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

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