An unfiltered fire hose of flaming condemnation

I need sunshine

In the last month I have made a concerted effort to seek out new music, and I’ve set aside a thirty minute time period every day to go searching online for artists I haven’t yet heard. I used to do this for hours every day when my life wasn’t filled with other priorities, and when I lived in LA I often attended three or four live shows a week. That was also a time when I had an hour commute to work every day and I could concentrate on nothing but the music on the stereo and the endless line of cars in front of me. My longest rides in the car now are the ten minute ones to the hardware store, and it’s hard to hear the music when Screams-A-Lot is demanding that I turn around and hand her the book she just threw at the back of my head.

My favorite place to find new music is my husband’s hobby project, 3hive, and if I’m not careful I can lose an entire day of my life looking through the pop section alone. I’ve noticed a difference in my mood since I started searching for new music, a new lilt in my step that keeps rhythm with the melody in my head. It’s been so long since I’ve made music this much a priority in my life that I’d forgotten what it was like to lie in bed awake at night with line after line of lyrics running through my brain like the words on a teleprompter.

Last week I downloaded a few MP3’s from the newest Wolf Parade release, in particular the song “I’ll Believe in Anything,” and I haven’t been able to listen to anything else since. That’s a nasty habit of mine, I find something I like and then I beat the thing to death, whether it be food or a television show or a website and in that instance I just sit at my laptop and hit refresh, refresh, refresh. In the last couple of months I have forced Jon to sit through probably 75 episodes of “CSI” which is for the most part a pretty crappy show because hello? That computer program they just used to determine which brand of shampoo was used to wash the hair follicle retrieved from the corpse? IT DOESN’T EXIST. And I’m sorry, but I’d be mortified if a man that hot was inspecting my naked dead body. But I cannot stop watching it much like I can’t stop swinging at my head with a meat cleaver.

The Wolf Parade song I have on endless repeat has become the official soundtrack to the changing of the seasons, to the end of what has seemed like the longest winter of my life. It hasn’t been a particularly bad winter, we’ve just been stuck inside with a toddler and a limited number of toys, and while I’m not yet willing to let her create art on the walls or the imported rug on the living room floor, there have been enough snow storms this season that we once passed the time covering every inch of flesh on our faces with a blue marker. I didn’t take a picture because I knew that someone would send me an email to tell me that there is lead or some other deadly substance in markers and how could I claim to love my child while displaying such flagrant disregard for her safety. How? It’s easy, you just pop the top off the marker and start coloring her forehead.

Over the weekend Spring finally arrived in Utah, and I played the Wolf Parade song whenever I got a chance as loud as the volume on the stereo would go. We took long walks around the neighborhood and I had the lyrics to that song in my head the entire time, lyrics like the title to yesterday’s daily photo. When I hear this song I feel like the colors in these photos:

And I can’t stop thinking about the early months of my relationship with Jon, months that were hectic and raw and so full of hope and panic that every day seemed like it would collapse in on itself. I love that almost five years into my relationship with him I can hear a few notes and feel what it was like between us during the first few hours we ever spent together. And that is what this whole rambling entry was for, to say I am so happy I have brought music back into my life.

  • Allie

    Check out The Submarines – they are my new make me happy band:

    (FYI site needs flash)

  • Thanks for the spring pics of Utah – I’m missing it like crazy!!!!!! Is it too much to ask to get some sunshine up here in Oregon!??! PLEASE!??!?!

  • mmoxxie

    so in light of beating something to death…

    seriously. it’s the coolest thing since sliced bread and the internet.

  • Grace D

    Listening obsessively to my stepkiddo’s boyfriend’s band, The Silversun Pickups, ‘Kissing Families’.

    And, coincidence! It was previously listed on 3Hive:

    Bonus – listen for the moody cello undercurrent.

  • Miss A

    Dooce! Check out No-Fi Soul Rebellion (there are mp3’s on the site – We are a husband/wife band with lots of comparisons to Prince and Beck. Plus you know, we’re just totally fresh on our own. We even play in your neck of the woods on occasion.

    By the by I love reading your site!

  • Sunni

    It’s so interesting to hear your taste in music. Not at all what I would have guessed. I listened to that song on Itunes and now it’s stuck in my head.

    Thanks a lot. No, really, thanks. I just bought it.

  • Mine

    check out ‘swimming’ & ‘cigarette’ are a couple of my favourites plus I found this site the other day loads of signed and unsigned bands…

  • Erin

    Sarah Harmer is my spring.

    I’ve recently become obsessed with 24 and can’t even fit anything else into my head, other than “I wish I were watching 24 right now,” or when I’m watching 24, “I can’t wait to watch more 24 after this 24.”

  • SAHM

    Thanks Dooce, that’s a real purty song. Lame to bitch about the weather in the pacNW, but DAMN am I ready for some sunshine!

    Another band, Loose Fur has a good spring time love song on their first release called Chinese Apple, and on their newest release is one to share with the family called the Ruling Class about Jesus smoking crack.

  • Heather,
    Get into it.


  • trevordlb

    Hey Heather,

    So many people claim that music is such a HUGE part of their life, and then they’ll never really have anything interesting to say about it, so I’m glad to see that you do… I feel like a sound track is always playing in my life, even when I’m on the shitter, though then it’s mostly drum and base. LOL.

    Here are a few artists I like, that you may too:
    Second Opinion, my group, of course:

    Jason Mraz, you probably know him already, but still:

    Amy Atchley:

    Here’s my blog:

    Trev 🙂

  • Mine

    Its raining here in London UK but its cool because they have a hose pipe ban and we supposedly really need water (if they would just plug up the damn holes in the Victoria pipe system we could probably sustain the entire planet. Its great to see that we all stick together in situations like this though, The tree outside our house has started to bud. It really does make you feel so much better and sunshine mixed with music is a pretty good remedy for anything. We did recently invest in a Lumi bodyclock which wakes you up with a simulation of a sun rise and sends you off to sleep with a simulation of a sunset, its sad but we just don’t get enough sunshine here so I bought my own!

  • Isn’t it fun rediscovering things you love? I am having the same discovery. I still live in LA but have had satellite radio and just got rid of it. I am going to have to check out 3hive as I have completely worn out my Anna Nalick CD.

    PS.People, if you don’t have it, it’s not worth it yet! Wait until they figure out a way to improve the satellite signal.

  • Thank you so much for the music recommendation. One of the best things about the internet, and blogs in general, is learning about new music and books. It’s my favorite!

  • Z

    KT Tunstall is my new music and I’ve been associating her with the Spring season too, although ours arrived weeks ago.

    We’ve overwatched C.S.I. too. Damn Spike TV and your early season reruns. Once we had seen them all? We started watching C.S.I. NY to get our fix.

  • All your searching is over.

  • I *just* posted to my blog yesterday about wanting to find new music for our upcoming trip to Belize. Music, for me, is like theme music for life. I feel that every moment in time should (and does) have appropriate music that fits it and plays along in my head. I have my itunes up and running first thing in the morning before I do any other thing on my computer.
    Here are my favorite theme songs for my life:
    Jump, Little Children: Cathedrals
    Psapp: Cosy in the Rocket (I don’t watch Grey’s Anatomy but I came across their website and it plays constantly on the home page. I just left it open in the background and let it loop over and over and over…)
    Norah Jones: Creepin’ In (Dolly Parton just rocks)
    Mindy Smith: One Moment More (You can just hear the aching in her voice. The whole CD rocks.)
    Sia: Breathe Me (I think you blogged about that one.)
    Beulah: Calm Go the Wild Seas
    Aimee Mann: Driving Sideways
    The Be Good Tanyas: Anything really, but I like “Lakes of Ponchartrain”
    Big & Rich: Even if you hate country, they have an original sound. And they’re hot.
    That’s it for now… Hope you enjoy them!

  • richellokitty

    Bahaha.. This is too funny (to me at least…) About a month ago my best friend was telling me about this great band she loves called ‘Wolf Parade’.
    Her exact words were “I love them. Love them, love them, love them. Which means in about a month, everybody in the world is going to be listening to them, and I’ll have to hate them because they won’t be cool anymore.”
    Of course she was joking, and poking fun at her own elitist attitude when it comes to music. But it’s just funny (and a little eerie) that exactly one month later I’m reading about them on Dooce.

  • jwf

    The latest song in my head is Chiaya Chiaya – it is the credit song from Inside Man. You might want to take a listen. It is an incredible song with an incredible beat – it is hindu pop.

    You can watch and hear the video at

    Have fun dancing! Leta will enjoy it too – my 26 month old does!

  • Stormhunter

    Heather, check out I recently discovered it through a friend. You can type in a song or artist you like and it finds similar sounds. So far I have been pleasantly surprised by some of the music I have come across.


  • Music, gooood. CSI, baaaad. In all its incarnations. If you have to explain to your subordinates how the sciences and technologies your lab uses work, why did you hire them? And why are those labs so damn dark? And why are the women so damn hot? It’s like Soap Opera Land: no ugly people allowed.


  • Sara

    You may want to try Pandora, You put in the music you like and it creates a station with similar music based on all this stuff I don’t understand. It’s awesome especially when I’m at work.

    As for spring, It’s been here for more than a month in Austin. Love it.

  • Heather you seem so happy! It’s so nice to read some happy stuff today. I, too, recently re-discovered music. I finally got an mp3 player (even though, according to the kidlets, I am an ancient dinosaur) and can’t allow myself new music every day, but every month I do manage to go seeking for new stuff.

    I am the same way- when I find something I like, I will play it over and over again.

    But it does, indeed, became the soundtrack of your life. How cool is that??

  • I just started listening to my new spring music today too. It’s great to see the flowers budding everywhere, and “Here Comes the Sun” may be cliche, but it gets the job done. 🙂

  • My daughter’s a few weeks younger than Leta. When I got pregnant, one of my big fears was that I wouldn’t have room for my music nerdiness once she was born. And yeah, it’s gotten shoved aside and I miss it.

    Last month I took the plunge and bought a 60GB iPod. Sweet holy little shiny black techno saviour! I sneak off to the basement every night while my husband gives the kid her bath, and I feel more like myself than I have since becoming a mother. Nerve deaf, but sane.

    I’d say that I hear what you’re saying, but I don’t, earbuds and all. But I get it. I so get it.


    oldies, new music, whatever, I love it and I am addicted to it.

  • Helen

    The thing about CSI is that it’s crappy and pretty good at the same time. Very high production values but characters who behave like high school kids, except for Grissom and Horatio. I wouldn’t be so worried about the cute guy seeing me when I’m dead, but I do worry about why all the girls have loose, tumbling hair and lots of lip gloss when they’re poking about in things you wouldn’t want to get on your hair or lips. Eeeuw.

  • Oh man, Wolf Parade. I went to see them Saturday, and let me tell you. Some of the most innovative and lovely music I’ve heard in a long time. Plus! Canadian! Who doesn’t love Canada and all it’s maple-leafy-parliament-style-governmenty goodness? I’m sure you’ve heard of it, because you are Teh Lord of Teh Intar-wubs, but there was a website (, I believe) where you could look up an artist and it would make suggestions based on what searches you did (basically). I think it was down for maintenance but it could be back up again soon.

    Umm.. I guess that’s all I have to contribute.

  • Velma

    This is an excellent idea for me to consider…actually *making* time for new music in my day. I need to dig out some of the old favorites that have spring-is-springing memories, or even just “remember when” melodies. Like, summer of ’98 was Soul Coughing time, and now I just can’t listen to it in the winter.

    Actually, I’d be happy with pretty much anything that would bump the SpongeBob “F.U.N.” song from my brain.

  • Meg

    Oh, I loved this one, Heather. So many of my memories come with soundtracks, just as they do with smells and sensations. Sometimes hearing a song I love will bring about a full sensory experience that I can close my eyes and disappear into.

    I love 3Hive… that’s brilliant.

    For sunshine, I’d recommend a little Feist or Stars — both Canadian — and of course, some Django Reinhardt.

    I think you have a wonderful heart. Keep being real.

  • Catrain

    Need I say Morr? Morr Music! 3hives helped out with my search for the lyrics to the Electric President song, “Insomnia”. In fact I just did an experiment, googled “Electric President” and 3hives was the first site that popped up. One word: impressive.

  • jes

    my husband feels about music the way you do – he’ll search the internet for hours, finding new songs and artists, playing them over and over, memorizing them, and then coming home and singing them to me.

    i find it rather amusing, because he’s the whitest guy you’ll ever meet, and he l.o.v.e.s. rap music. it caught me off-guard at first, but now I find it endearing.

    me? i can listen to the same song forty-two times in a row and not hear one word of it. i’m not sure how i manage that.

  • I really love your outdoorsy pics. They brightened my day! Also, another website that is pretty good for new independent music is I don’t work for them or anything like that, but it is another good website for hearing new stuff long before it ever gets played on the radio!

  • Those photos are stunning! A Blurbodoocery Utah calendar is in demand, y’know.

    By the way it’s so great to hear you talk about feeling like the colours in those photos, after reading all the problems with depression you’ve had. Music is a great way for me to get myself out of a sad mood, albeit Megadeth mightn’t be what YOU were thinking of 😉

  • Stunning photos of blossoms! Thank you for those! And I crazy love your new hair cut!, oh, Mighty Queen of the Interweb.

  • What a timely post, I too am in need of some new music and there’s nothing better than discovering something new. Now I must go procrastinate over at 3hive.

  • Music is highly evocative and strongly tied into memory. I can hear two notes of a song and be transported back to where I was when I first made its acquaintance. Your descriptive words and those gorgeous photos were so fitting, they almost made me hear the song — even though I’ve never really heard it.

    I too am very glad to hear you’re feeling better, happier, stronger. Us depression survivors have to cherish each and every one of those special moments. My best to you.

  • katliz is the best source for new music on the web. They just went to a listener-supported business model, so the CD quality streams require a subscription, but there are low-quality streams available for a preview.

    These guys have saved my life over the years. Once a terrestrial “alternative” station out of southwestern Ohio, they are now web-only. If you remember Dustin Hoffman in “Rainman” saying “97X…Bam! The future of Rock and Roll…” over and over again, this is that station.

  • Mack’sMom

    You are all much more hip than I am, apparently! I tend to revert to the oldies, cough cough the 80’s, when the weather warms up!

    You can almost be certain I’ll break out “Summertime” by Fresh Prince on the first 80 degree day!

    In the Fall the Country Music fan comes out in me…

    Maybe I need to experiment a little more!

  • woweewowow.
    WHAT a hot new opening photo Heather, you look smashing! What a black majik woman. (oops, sorry about that heathen reference)
    Jon is a lucky sucker (not bein a pervy girl just appreciate asthetic beauty).
    I am all about the soundtrack to life, too, I have a plan to make a short movie on my bike ride to work, accompanied by the music I listen to on my headphones, hopefully to communicate the exhilaration of my daily ride. There is an oooollld cemetary, a poor part of town, neighborhoods, and industrial areas, kids on skate boards, you get the idea. I’ll send you a copy when I complete it 🙂
    When T and I first met, she had made a mixtape of songs that reminded her of me, and then when we finally came together in the land of love we now inhabit, it was such a validation to know she had felt all those things for me. Actually, it was a song that convinced me I should take the plunge in the first place, so, you are in good company today. I will explore your recommendations. Happy Spring!

  • phsymom

    Rarely comment but wanted to say that the pictures are fabulous. I too am into music, I just wish I had more time to browse around looking for new music.

    As for the blue marker … when my son was two and we had been stuck inside for two days during a flood here in Texas … I decided that the washable markers would be a fun activity. Imagine my surprise as we covered each other in pictures or in my case scribbles … the doorbell rang

    The nice policeman and volunteer fireman looked a bit frightened, but managed to hold a straight face as they asked me if everyone in our home was doing ok andif we needed anything. I ran to the front window, peaking out to catch them laughing their asses off as they waded back to their boat!

  • I can’t stop watching Charmed reruns on TNT. I need a bullet.

    Also, check out Decent music happening there.

  • Julie B

    heather, i remember back in the day when you used to post a bunch of mp3s for your readers to download, and i still have all of those songs. 🙂 there’s one song that was labelled unknown, i’ve never been able to find out who the artist is (his voice sounds so familiar! i’m sure i’ll kick myself when you tell me.) maybe you can help! some of the lyrics:

    there’s never and ever when weather takes hold
    better together away from the cold

    what they say is right
    what i’m saying is now
    i don’t expect to be…

    one song i love right now that i’ll share with you because i know you will love it too: “yes i am” by sophie zelmani.

  • oh crap, just realized the two ‘on’s in my first comment. now i seem all grammatically moronic. i’m not – i swear!

    and happy spring. i *just* got an ipod, and, liberated from my cd player and small travel case of discs, i’m rediscovering all this music i’ve let fall by the wayside – since i also latch onto one thing for a while, and then totally forget it exists. rediscovering guster at the moment. mmm, hand drums.

  • oromat

    You do realize that you are like Oprah. Anything you endorse is going to fly off shelves and jam websites because we all just want to be as freakin’ cool as you. LOL

  • I love that about music, the power it can have over a mood or frame of mind. How one or two notes can instantly transport you to another time in your life. Music makes memories in Technicolor.

  • Mack’sMom

    I don’t know which version of CSI you watch, but my husband and I watch the one that takes place in Las Vegas.
    Right now I’m having trouble with the younger guy, Nick. His hair used to be short and messy- cute. Now it’s grown out and it looks like a wig! Now he looks creppy! He had a mustache for awhile too…and that was REALLY distrubing!

  • Music has always been my biggest refuge, and its ability to keep me from completely losing my mind has never been more pronounced than during the rearing of two small children.

    My almost-three-year-old son seems to be quite the music fanatic now, as well. My wife insists on playing him those annoying children’s CDs, but when he gets in my car, he says, “Daddy, play some rock and roll!” He has even learned to ask specifically for Van Halen. Nice.

  • lottie

    I’m eking a little warmth from your photos. london is in winter’s grip still – grey and miserable and cold… spring and music, what a wicked reawakening.

  • You know its funny because of you I recently decided to set aside my bias towards east coast indie and download some Death Cab for Cutie. I also finally picked up some O.A.R. It has been really good to get away from my incessant Kiss XM and 20 on 20 affliction. (don’t ask, we all have our secret shames) Finding my old indie ways of listening to hours and hours of bad music to find one gem has been really rewarding. Best of all, my four month old loves DCFC.

Heather B. Armstrong

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

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