An unfiltered fire hose of flaming condemnation

Prodigy

We have always thought that Leta is the brightest kid to ever walk the Earth — she can already differentiate between the sounds of an airplane and a helicopter, although she does often point to an empty sky and say, “BIRD!” but we aren’t going to mention that to anyone who works in any sort of admissions office — but now we have proof to silence all the skeptics: video that shows she is a mathematical genius. All that is missing is a clip of her running in circles with a bucket on her head.

Flash video
Quicktime movie

116 Comments
  • Ktkat

    2006/06/01 at 2:16 pm

    Uhhhhhh, sorry for the double… no TRIPLE post… I had premature e-post-ulation……. 🙂

  • dooce

    2006/06/01 at 2:19 pm

    Ktkat, sometimes I don’t open up comments on a post, for whatever reason, and then I usually close an open comment thread within a day. That’s what’s going on.

    Or maybe, I’m totally trying to mess with your mind. I’ll never tell.

  • liisemignon

    2006/06/01 at 1:47 pm

    I think she wiggled the finger two times to convey “two” to you.

    Her hair is getting long yes?

  • Diana

    2006/06/01 at 1:52 pm

    Come on…let us see her with her bucket 😛

  • margalit

    2006/06/01 at 2:01 pm

    No doubt about it, she’s eztremely gifted.

    And she is just SO beautiful. Her eyes have such a sparkle of mischief in them. Downright adorable is Leta.

  • Claudia

    2006/06/01 at 2:10 pm

    Augh, she is SO DANGED CUTE!!!!!

  • Les

    2006/06/01 at 2:11 pm

    Very Strange!

  • Ktkat

    2006/06/01 at 2:13 pm

    Oh my… her fingers remind me of my best friend’s fingers. Not that is relevant in any way, just, comforting in a weird way… ha!

    Anyway, can SOMEBODY PLEASE tell me how to comment to an entry if nobody has posted yet? Sometimes there will be an entry that I want to post a comment to, but nobody has commented yet, and I can’t be the first one… ANYBODY? HELP? THANK YOU!!!!!

  • Ktkat

    2006/06/01 at 2:14 pm

    Oh my… her fingers remind me of my best friend’s fingers. Not that is relevant in any way, just, comforting in a weird way… ha!

    Anyway, can SOMEBODY PLEASE tell me how to comment to an entry if nobody has posted yet? Sometimes there will be an entry that I want to post a comment to, but nobody has commented yet, and it won’t let me be the first one… ANYBODY? HELP? THANK YOU!!!!!

  • Ktkat

    2006/06/01 at 2:14 pm

    Oh my… her fingers remind me of my best friend’s fingers. Not that is relevant in any way, just, comforting in a weird way… ha!

    Anyway, can SOMEBODY PLEASE tell me how to comment to an entry if nobody has posted yet? Sometimes there will be an entry that I want to post a comment to, but nobody has commented yet, and it won’t let me be the first one… ANYBODY? HELP? THANK YOU!!!!!

  • fred

    2006/06/01 at 2:14 pm

    there must be a video of leta throwing a tantrum.. because she just seems like the perfect innocent child… the kind that they tell you about before you decide to have kids.

  • Hemlock

    2006/06/01 at 1:08 pm

    I’m totally with deeryluv… just doing a little trach test.

    She’s the cutest. I thought the entire video was just going to be her throwing her pigtails around. That would have been sufficient. Seriously.

  • mmwc

    2006/06/01 at 1:15 pm

    i love how she batts her eyelashes before she answers.

  • Varla

    2006/06/01 at 1:22 pm

    the pouty lip! the hair tousle! those eyelashes! she’s a riot.

  • Kristen

    2006/06/01 at 1:22 pm

    What a little character, getting into position before answering. And the look on her face while she wiggles her finger…hilarious.

  • emily

    2006/06/01 at 1:23 pm

    I think that’s the “new math” the kids are learning these days…

  • whisper_lover

    2006/06/01 at 1:33 pm

    Leta is *so* precious! I want to eat her up!

    I’m having a hard time coming up with anything original…I love the new masthead, love your writing as much as ever, I love your site, and I strongly dislike the haters, such as they are.

    That’s all I have for you. You ROCK!

  • Cauri

    2006/06/01 at 12:59 pm

    hahah, i love the time it takes her to prepare for the camera. What a little star =)

  • monkey

    2006/06/01 at 12:59 pm

    Fingers are overrated. The important thing is that she knows she’s two..lol

  • deeryluv

    2006/06/01 at 1:07 pm

    I love when she shoved her little paw into her neck as if she was absent mindedly checking to see if her trach was still there.

    That’s the freaking raddest video yet. (Geeze, how much from CA am I?)

  • EEE

    2006/06/01 at 12:58 pm

    What a cute little crumb snatcher! Honest to god Dooce, reading your site and seeing Leta’s transformation from baby into little person has inspired me to get knocked up. I’ll have my own little moviestar come winter!

  • Bucky Four-Eyes

    2006/06/01 at 12:53 pm

    Did I not beg you to cease and desist the over-the-top cute baby stuff? Couldn’t you show some video of Leta throwing a fit, or causing objects to fly through the air through the sheer force of her will?

    Please stop. I just heard Jess refer to me as “fertile soil” and it makes me AFRAID.

  • Mack'sMom

    2006/06/01 at 12:39 pm

    I can’t get the to load correctly, but I have to comment anyway:

    I taught my 2 year old daughter, “One, Two Buckle My Shoe, Three, Four Close The Door…”

    I’m sure I have the words wrong, but in just a week she’s started sing the numbers.

    “One! Two! Shoe…Three! Door! Door!…FIVE FIVE FIVE!”

    Okay she’s struggling but it’s so cute that she holds up the right amount of fingers and so into it!

  • north

    2006/06/01 at 12:42 pm

    It looks like she started wagging that finger and mesmerized herself. She’s all, “well, will you look at that? I’ve never noticed my finger doing THAT before.”

    And, of course, to be part of the chorus, freaking adorable.

    Love the new masthead, too. What a conformist I am…

  • Tiggerlane

    2006/06/01 at 12:45 pm

    Batting the lashes…

    Flipping the hair…

    Giving you the doe eyes…

    HOLY CRAP!! You are in big trouble when she grows up!! Too precious!!

    (And I gotta love how Chuck’s shoes match the tone of his nether-regions. Rockin’ it like a drag queen!)

  • Fireflower

    2006/06/01 at 12:46 pm

    CUTE! As I say often to my girl, Pretty Baby. Must be the lashes. And the big brown eyes. Gets them every time.

  • giantmt

    2006/06/01 at 12:28 pm

    brilliance never looked so cute.

  • MelanieinOrygun

    2006/06/01 at 12:31 pm

    Good lord. The way she says “two” is just damn cute.
    “tyoop.”
    Ahhhh… I love to see the babies, but am so glad I no longer have the babies. Heh.

  • kalisah

    2006/06/01 at 12:34 pm

    I don’t think the finger was meant to represent her age – I think she was merely trying to show us how that top knuckle is double-jointed.

  • Jonniker

    2006/06/01 at 12:39 pm

    She’s flirting. You are *so* hosed when she’s 15.

  • Natasha

    2006/06/01 at 12:27 pm

    She is so fucking cute.

  • timothyjlambert

    2006/06/01 at 12:24 pm

    I’ve never seen another child look quite so adorable when trying to shake the Devil out of their head as Leta in this video. And she can answer questions at the same time. Now that’s talent.

  • JessicaRabbit

    2006/06/01 at 12:24 pm

    Yet one more post I have to sneak and watch when my girlfriend isnt around to hear me talk baby talk to the monitor.

    Shes so paranoid that I just want her for her uterus..

  • Jaida

    2006/06/01 at 12:18 pm

    Adorrrrrrrrrrrable!! Put her in pigtails more often! It’s precious now, but not when she’s 50+ at some swap meet!

    Leta is a cutie pie!

  • Laura Smart

    2006/06/01 at 12:22 pm

    She is a natural in front of the camera. Look at her putting on her best poses! I especially love the one where she lowers her chin on top of her hand and looks up at the camera imploringly. What a little sweetheart!

  • Vaguely Urban

    2006/06/01 at 12:10 pm

    Work those eyelashes! And the bandaid, too! Use everything you’ve got! (Leta knows how to be FIERCE.)

  • Carrie Johnston

    2006/06/01 at 12:15 pm

    REDRUM!

  • beautifulmess

    2006/06/01 at 12:17 pm

    can i gobble her up? cause i so want to gobble her up.

  • Pascha

    2006/06/01 at 12:17 pm

    She’s thinking, “Maybe if I just keep wagging this finger it will mesmerize mama into giving me more gubby bears.”

  • Amy D.

    2006/06/01 at 11:50 am

    too cute….but I can only see HALF the new masthead (?). I’m guessing because IE sux the old sweaty goat balls, but does it say “neither representing nor keeping it real”….? desperate to know!

  • Nichole

    2006/06/01 at 11:50 am

    The June masthead makes me happy.

  • Amy D.

    2006/06/01 at 11:52 am

    aahhh…nevermind 😉

  • Kissyface

    2006/06/01 at 11:53 am

    Yummy Mummy and Pretty Baby – you two are quite the pair. The new masthead exceeds all expectation.

  • smoness

    2006/06/01 at 11:59 am

    Call Ed McMahon and get that girl on Star Search! — Too cute.

  • kristentatious

    2006/06/01 at 11:59 am

    I’d like to comment, but I’m choking on the cuteness.

  • Wendy Mac

    2006/06/01 at 12:03 pm

    Remember Barbie who said, “Math is hard”? Leta says, In your face, Barbie!

    I hope Leta is one of my math students when she grows up.

  • JennJenn

    2006/06/01 at 12:03 pm

    Well I’ll be darned…

    That’s the same gesture I use when the cops ask how many I’ve had to drink!

  • jes

    2006/06/01 at 12:03 pm

    Oh, gaaaah. Who cares if she can count? She SO. CUTE. If you ever want to rid yourself, just set her on a plane toward Dallas. love it

  • jes

    2006/06/01 at 12:05 pm

    She SO. CUTE.?

    So mesmerized by the cuteness that I have lost all grammatical ability.

  • Leesa

    2006/06/01 at 12:08 pm

    If I am not mistaken, she is already using “imaginary number”, quite an accomplishment.

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Heather B. Armstrong

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

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