the smell of my desperation has become a stench

Parental advisory

This morning we bring Leta into bed with us as usual. Jon turns on the television and clicks through to the group of “Teletubbies” we have stored on the TiVo. The title of each episode reflects the part of the show where the Teletubbies turn on their television bellies to show humans performing some activity, whether it be painting or skipping or feeding farm animals. Jon selects the most recent episode, called “Bagels.”

“Apparently the ‘Teletubbies’ aren’t just gay-friendly. Now they’re pro-Jew, too,” he says.

“I can hardly contain my outrage,” I say. “You know what this means, don’t you?”

“Sadly, I do,” he says. “Now Leta is going to be asking for a bagel AS IF THAT WERE PERFECTLY OKAY.”

Heather B. Armstrong

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

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