Would sir desire a calendar?

The last two days have been nothing but a string of mechanical failures, beginning when the blender decided to spontaneously catch fire while I was trying to make strawberry smoothies. Something about how there wasn’t enough liquid in the mix to offset the rock-like nature of the frozen strawberries, and the motor couldn’t handle the pressure. But I don’t like that explanation. I think Jon implanted a tiny bomb into the base of the blender that he set off with a remote control, because he wants me to think that it was my fault that the blender DECIDED TO BE A TOTAL PUSSY. And that’s what I’m going to tell people when they walk by and see the charred remains of the blender in our driveway.

And then yesterday the back end of my website died, had a sudden, violent coronary, and I couldn’t get into it to publish any photos or words or links to disheartening letters from God’s children about the disgraceful practice of wearing immodest miniskirts, although it may not be inherently evil, let’s face it ladies, the only thing your TOTALLY BARE KNEES are saying to me is that you spend your free time STRANGLING LABRADOR PUPPIES WITH JUMPER CABLES.

(I could read BYU Newsnet ALL DAY LONG, and I wonder if when they check their referral stats, if they see all these instances of when I’ve linked to them, and they think, you know what that woman needs? A potato casserole. Let’s send her one with a copy of the most recent Ensign. I hope they do because it makes me all warm inside when I think about it.)

So yesterday I spent my time finishing up the final details on the 2008 Chuck Calendar only to face several obstacles and hours of ERRORS! while trying to upload it to its final publishing destination — GRRRRUMMMBLE! — and thanks to the lovely Kymberlee over at LuLu it all worked out without any blood or broken limbs:

Sorry that it took so long this year, it’s just been a rough month and it required quite a bit more work than I remember. But now it is done, and I’m going to go lie down and force this dog to snuggle with me.